notenoughshoes (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
notenoughshoes) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
kurofai2012-07-16 05:02 pm
notenoughshoes) wrote in kurofai2012-07-16 05:02 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
My first TRC fanfic; I need guidance ^^;;
Title: Sleep
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 500+
Summary: It was his eleventh straight day without sleep. Spoiler on Fai’s past.
It was his eleventh straight day without sleep.
No, he did not have insomnia. He did not have difficulty in sleeping neither. In fact, he was feeling so tired, so exhausted, that he could be drifting off in any moment. His mind was shutting down, his head was heavy, and hints of drowsiness overpowered his awareness.
It was so hard to pretend that he was sleeping, while in fact, he prevented himself from sleeping.
He heard slight movement of clothes. Perhaps Sakura-chan, he thought. Then, more movement and a soft whisper, Syaoran-kun, telling her to sleep again. As always, they were sleeping side-by-side, cramped in that small storeroom. They had agreed with the sleeping arrangement the night before; Sakura and Mokona to sleep on a proper mattress, while Syaoran and he slept on a pile of blankets on the floor. Kurogane slept in his seating position on the door, blocking the way out and preventing anything coming in.
Sakura would sleep all the way until the sun rose, and Syaoran would be sleeping unless he detected any movement from Sakura. However, he knew that Kurogane would be awake even with slightest movement, which made him unable to do anything other than unmoving in his sleeping position. Troublesome ninja. Oh great, thinking about sleeping made him even drowsier.
He slowly opened his eyes and stared through the box-shaped glass ceiling. He would love to waste time looking at the stars and perhaps do a little astronomical calculation, but the glass was too narrow. Maybe he should just use his imagination–
–Fai, Fai, Fai…
“Yuui!”
I’m sorry.
“Yuui, please!”
It’s all my fault–
“Let Yuui live.”
Fai–
“Fai!”
He opened his eyes.
A pair of red eyes were staring at him. Then, he started to feel, there were hands on his shoulders and his feet felt numb. . Kurogane was shaking his shoulders, pressing one leg on his lower body, and shouting his name. His mind started to process, slowly. No, he was not in that pit. He was not with Fai. It was Kurogane. In Hanshin. It was Kurogane. And Syaoran. And Sakura. And they were world-travelling, looking for Sakura’s feather. It was just the first day in their world-travel. Then they were going to sleep, and he was rooming with the big black ninja.
It was Kurogane. It was just Kurogane.
“Oi mage, you okay?”
He tried to speak but no words came out. He nodded. Of course it was not Fai. Fai was dead. Fai was not there anymore. He had killed Fai.
Kurogane slowly released him. He avoided his eyes, although he could still feel suspicious stare on him.
“Sorry,” he whispered, pulling on his mask. Smile. Turn. Ignore that glare. “I’m totally fine now! See? I just had a bit of nightmare, but it’s all over!”
“You were screaming your own name,” Kurogane replied.
That smile froze for one split second. “Kuro-sama, it was nothing.”
“Stop that bullshit,” Kurogane cut him off. “I don’t care what you’re running away from,” he growled, “but you should stop lying. You’re a crappy liar.”
–it was the last time he slept when rooming with other people.
Title: Sleep
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 500+
Summary: It was his eleventh straight day without sleep. Spoiler on Fai’s past.
It was his eleventh straight day without sleep.
No, he did not have insomnia. He did not have difficulty in sleeping neither. In fact, he was feeling so tired, so exhausted, that he could be drifting off in any moment. His mind was shutting down, his head was heavy, and hints of drowsiness overpowered his awareness.
It was so hard to pretend that he was sleeping, while in fact, he prevented himself from sleeping.
He heard slight movement of clothes. Perhaps Sakura-chan, he thought. Then, more movement and a soft whisper, Syaoran-kun, telling her to sleep again. As always, they were sleeping side-by-side, cramped in that small storeroom. They had agreed with the sleeping arrangement the night before; Sakura and Mokona to sleep on a proper mattress, while Syaoran and he slept on a pile of blankets on the floor. Kurogane slept in his seating position on the door, blocking the way out and preventing anything coming in.
Sakura would sleep all the way until the sun rose, and Syaoran would be sleeping unless he detected any movement from Sakura. However, he knew that Kurogane would be awake even with slightest movement, which made him unable to do anything other than unmoving in his sleeping position. Troublesome ninja. Oh great, thinking about sleeping made him even drowsier.
He slowly opened his eyes and stared through the box-shaped glass ceiling. He would love to waste time looking at the stars and perhaps do a little astronomical calculation, but the glass was too narrow. Maybe he should just use his imagination–
–Fai, Fai, Fai…
“Yuui!”
I’m sorry.
“Yuui, please!”
It’s all my fault–
“Let Yuui live.”
Fai–
“Fai!”
He opened his eyes.
A pair of red eyes were staring at him. Then, he started to feel, there were hands on his shoulders and his feet felt numb. . Kurogane was shaking his shoulders, pressing one leg on his lower body, and shouting his name. His mind started to process, slowly. No, he was not in that pit. He was not with Fai. It was Kurogane. In Hanshin. It was Kurogane. And Syaoran. And Sakura. And they were world-travelling, looking for Sakura’s feather. It was just the first day in their world-travel. Then they were going to sleep, and he was rooming with the big black ninja.
It was Kurogane. It was just Kurogane.
“Oi mage, you okay?”
He tried to speak but no words came out. He nodded. Of course it was not Fai. Fai was dead. Fai was not there anymore. He had killed Fai.
Kurogane slowly released him. He avoided his eyes, although he could still feel suspicious stare on him.
“Sorry,” he whispered, pulling on his mask. Smile. Turn. Ignore that glare. “I’m totally fine now! See? I just had a bit of nightmare, but it’s all over!”
“You were screaming your own name,” Kurogane replied.
That smile froze for one split second. “Kuro-sama, it was nothing.”
“Stop that bullshit,” Kurogane cut him off. “I don’t care what you’re running away from,” he growled, “but you should stop lying. You’re a crappy liar.”
–it was the last time he slept when rooming with other people.
no subject
no subject
One little detail; I think if you change the world they're in, the whole thing makes more sense. They go immediately from Yuuko-san's shop to Sora-chan and Arashi-san's house in Hanshin Kyouwa, and there isn't enough time for the rain on their bodies to even dry. So their having to spend ten or eleven nights in a little storeroom before finding lodging with Sora-chan and getting at least a little privacy (though Fai still rooms with Kurogane) is improbable. Also I was a little confused about Fai not having slept for eleven days but it's only his first day world-traveling.
Fai's painful realization that Fai was not there because he'd killed him was heartbreaking. Sakura-chan's sleepy little murmurs and Syaoran's attentiveness to her are spot-on and adorable~ I love Kurogane's protectiveness over the group as a whole and his somewhat rough care of Fai, too. Ah, the thought of all the other nights in other worlds when he's forced to room with others and cannot sleep! I would love peeps at other worlds from you in similar vignettes. Will you write more?
no subject
For me, the real horror is because we actually see moments in the series in which Fai is lying down to sleep with his fellow travellers... which you could say, using your fic, means that he was only pretending to sleep, night after night.
I echo what kitten had to say up there— your writing is atmospheric and can be wrenching, but make sure you're paying attention to timeline and staying consistent!
Welcome to the community, and we certainly hope to see more of you! :D
no subject
This was a good read. Like
I agree with
I hope you'll share more of your fic with us!
no subject