kurofai | (Team Sci Fi) [Repairman and Customer] A Sum of Many Parts

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(Team Sci Fi) [Repairman and Customer] A Sum of Many Parts

Title: A Sum of Many Parts
Prompt: Repairman and Customer
Rating: T
Warnings: artificial limbs and prosthetics; references to past injuries; references to vehicular accidents; swearing
Notes: I wasn't expecting to write for the Olympics this year, but I jumped in as an emergency sub following a last-minute schedule change. I wrote this in about ten hours and then spent two days sweating over it trying to make it presentable. Be gentle?

Super thanks go to

pokechan for reading this over for me and listening to me flail!

Read @ AO3

Thank you for reading! How did I do?
Please score my fic according to these guidelines:
1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? (1-10)
2. How well written was the fic? (1-10)
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)

Please remember that you must provide some form of identification, either by logging into dreamwidth, or by providing a link to a blog or profile on another site, for your vote to be counted!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? 10
I like the twost! Fai with the prosthetic arm instead of Kurgane! I always had a thing for Soldier!Fai.

2. How well written was the fic? 10
The whole thing played out nicely. Only a few things happened, but it didn't feel lacking at all.

3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 10
The urge to read more mechanic!Kurogane and solider!Fai is strong.

How well did this fic fit the prompt? 10

You did a wonderful job filling the prompt. I was pleasantly surprised that it was Fai with the prosthetic arm for once instead of Kurogane. It also seemed to me that Kurogane managed to fix more than Fai’s arm. As far as I’m concerned, you managed to fill the prompt on multiple fronts.

How well written was the fic? 9.8

I stumbled a little bit over some of the gadgets that you came up with but considering that it is in a sci-fi setting such a thing is a bit expected. I also had a bit of trouble with some of the hyphenated words (mostly where there were two in a row). Even so, it did not take away any enjoyment. The entire story felt natural and flowed so well. I loved how you managed to give Kurogane and Fai so much depth. They both felt so real and it was incredible how you managed to convey so much feeling with so few words. I was also very impressed by how you managed to build the relationship between them. In short stories like this it can often seem forced or fast but yours was just perfect.

How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 10

It flowed beautifully and the characters felt like real people with real emotions. I loved that you were even able to throw in a bit of back-story for each of them without it seeming forced. It really is a stunning work, which is all the more impressive since you managed to do it in such a time crunch.

Thank you for the fic!

1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? (1-10)
Score 10 - Fai + prosthesis = sexy!

2. How well written was the fic? (1-10)
Score 10 - simple storyline, with meaningful character background revealed towards the end of the story

3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
Score 10 - me want more chapters!

1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? (1-10)
Wow I felt like this fit the prompt so perfectly- like there was no denying or questioning what the prompt was. Great job on being truly inspired by it too because this was the prompt I was most interested in.
10 out of 10

2. How well written was the fic? (1-10)
It was written super perfectly- just the right length to get the prompt in successfully and the romance started. Also you wrote this in like what- 10 hours??? Color me super impressed. 10 for 10

3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
I enjoyed this fic entirely- it didn't seemed rushed or drawn out and winded. You as a writer knew what you had to say and delivered. Nothing more or less to distract from the great characterization and prompt.
10 out of 10

oh and a link to prove I am real:http://winblossomwin.tumblr.com/

1) 9
2) 8
3)10

I'm really happy you enjoyed the twist- I was hoping everyone would assume it was Kurogane with the prosthetic, and it was fun to mix it up bit! And I think Fai would be a very good soldier; he's disciplined, intelligent and has a serious side that shows he means business when it gets down to it, so I enjoyed putting that into this fic.

I'm really glad that although this was short, I managed to make it enjoyable. I knew I wouldn't have time to make it complicated or give it a big plot, so I am happy that I still made this fun to read even though it was short and simple.

Oooh, I know your feels. I am so tempted to play around with more in this 'verse, but I have farrrrrr too many WIPs, ahahaha. Maybe later.

Thank you so much for reading, and for your vote!

It was great fun to change up what was expected, which was why I made the blurb as vague as possible; I wanted you to assume that Kurogane would have the prosthetic, not Fai. So I'm really happy you enjoyed it. I was hoping that I could pull off the secondary instance of the prompt, where Kurogane helps mend more than Fai's arm, so I'm really happy you enjoyed that too!

I had a lot of fun just thinking up random scifi words and abbreviations and just throwing them at the screen to see what stuck! I wanted to try a technique I've seen done well in speculative fiction, where the reader is immersed in different language without explanation, and thus finds their own meaning from the words through context. I really enjoy seeing that in Sci Fi/Fantasy, so it was interesting to play with it. My personal favourite is 'prosmech' where I just mashed together prosthetic and mechanic. I'm also really happy you though they felt 'real'; that's the best compliment when it comes to characterisation. I didn't want to move it too fast, but I wanted there to be the potential for romance at least- I am a die-hard KuroFai shipper to the end!

I'm really happy you enjoyed the introduction to their backstories and their emotions; that's a big compliment and I appreciate it a lot. Thank you so much for reading, and for your vote! I hope you enjoy the rest of the Olympics!

Why should Kurogane have all the fun with a cool space age arm? :D

I'm glad you found the story meaningful even if it was short; I'm so happy I managed to write it that way.

Ahaha, I am so tempted to play more in this universe, but I feel it stands well alone for now. Who knows, I may write something short for it later on! Thank you so much for reading and voting, and I hope you have fun reading all of the olymfics!

Thank you so much for reading and voting! I really appreciate it :D I hope you have fun reading the other fics in the Olympics!

Ahaha, then I am glad I could do the prompt justice! I had a lot of fun with this, even if I was under pressure to write it- and I am pleased that I managed to get the prompt expressed on several fronts. If you like this prompt, make sure you check out thecicada's Team Fantasy take on it- their fic is amazing!

Gosh, thank you so much! Yeah, I started writing this at about midday on Sunday my time, wrote through until about six, took a two hour break for dinner, and then finished up around eight-nine-ish? And then the editing as well. I think I added about 2k worth of words in the editing process. It was very quick for me- normally I don't write that fast! Unless it's smut. I can churn that out pretty damn quick *cough*

Wow, thank you! I'm really happy you enjoyed this so much! I was worried that it would be too short to convey what I wanted to, but it worked out in the end, and I am so happy you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for reading and voting, and I really hope you enjoy reading everything the Olympics has to offer!

1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? 10/10
I too loved that Fai was the one with the prosthetic arm and all the sci-fi descriptions of how it worked and how Kurogane went about repairing it.

2. How well written was the fic? 9.5/10
The pace felt a bit dragging at the start, but I loved that Tomoyo and Kobato were included in the story, so that was a big plus. And the second part was incredibly well-done, I could physically feel the tension during that scene.
The dialogue was also spot-on.
Your writing style is beautiful.

3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 10/10
It was a lovely read! I loved this universe and it would be awesome if it could be expanded on some day.

Thank you! It was fun to play with reader expectations, and I enjoyed seeing them in different roles; from how quickly Kurogane takes to the dragonflies in Piffle, he's probably got mechanical skills that need to be explored! I think if you gave him some lego he'd be happy for hours, ahaha.

Tomoyo tends to always show up when I write Kurogane and need someone to be a foil to him; I think it's written into her contract. And it was fun to write with Kobato; she's such a sweetheart, it was easy for me to picture her as a smiling, positive nurse. Thank you so much; I have a secret for writing dialogue: I read it out loud like a script. It really helps capture the back-and-forth flow of a conversation!

Thank you so much, wow! I may come back to this in the future, but for now it's happy to stay as-is while I iron out some WIPs of mine. Still, I enjoyed writing it, and I'm so happy you liked it. Thank you for reading and voting, and I hope you enjoy the Olympics!

(reply from suspended user)

Gosh, thank you so much! I agree the ending was a bit abrupt, ahaha, but at that point I knew I had to finish it or else not have anything to post! I can only really write for long stretches on the weekend, so it had to be done quickly. I extended the ending during the editing process but I admit I'm not totally happy with it- maybe this is why it feels like I should write more for it? XD

I'm super glad you liked the characterisation and the dynamic! For me, Kurogane and Fai are a pairing whose dynamic is so powerful, no matter what universe you put them in; they're drawn to each other like the best of CLAMP pairings, even when it puts them at odds. So I'm pleased I could show how they interact through this, even in a completely different situation. It was also a lot of fun playing with everyone's expectations and pulling a role reversal in regards to the prosthetics, so I am happy you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading and voting, and I hope you enjoy the Olympics!

yes I am truly happy I stumble across this olympics through tumblr- i never heard of dreamwidth but I now might make an account because of what I have seen here. The community seems very lovely, creative and full of spunk. I will do my best to leave responses for all the entries

1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? 10
2. How well written was the fic? 9
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 10

It was nice to see Fai as a soldier for once; I feel that it suits him, but because of their canonical professions I come across Kurogane as a warrior more in fic, despite the fact that they're both very capable fighters in canon. The sci-fi jargon was a little jarring, especially as I was just getting into the story. It took me a few paragraphs to feel 'at home' in the story, but it really hits the flow as soon as Kurogane and Fai start to interact - their dynamic here is written beautifully. The cameos made by Tomoyo and Kobato were wonderful; Kobato's appearance especially was a delightful surprise (I love it when TRC fics take advantage of the crossover potential its multiverse provides) and I think the nursing profession is a great fit for her. If anything, I felt that the dynamic between Tomoyo and Kurogane went a little unexplored (though of course that part of the fic is irrelevant to the prompt).

All in all, this was an absolutely enjoyable read: the shorter length enabled it to have a really tight focus on the prompt, and made it feel right for the story to end where it did, as their relationship of beginning to evolve - no matter how I personally would like to see more of them! As this story is a snapshot of their relationship, I was really pleased with the sense of closure we get at the end. Thank you for writing this!

Thank you so much! I had a lot of fun subverting expectations in this fic; making Fai the soldier, and giving him the prosthetic instead of Kurogane. You're right in that both of them are equally capable fighters, so to give Kurogane the non-combat role was a pleasant change, writing-wise.

Aha, sorry if you found the lack of transition or explanation jarring! I was trying a technique I've seen done very well in speculative fiction, by completely immersing the reader in a world through use of terms and language that are not explained, leaving context to make sense of it. It was an interesting technique to play with, for sure. I feel like if I'd been able to write this over a longer period I would have done it better, but I'm still pretty happy with what I managed.

I'm so happy you liked the dynamic between Fai and Kurogane; it was the heart of the fic, with everything else as window dressing. And Kobato just wrote herself in and decided to stay, so I had to have her as the nurse. Tomoyo, of course, is never too far away where Kurogane is concerned. I would have liked to have expand on their relationship more, but I was more concentrating on the prompt, as you said. If I ever do come back to this ficverse, I'd love to have her interacting with Fai.

I admit endings are usually my weak point, but I was happy where this tapered off; I was rushed, because of the limited time I had to work with, but I felt this was a good place to end it, at the beginning of their growing relationship, and I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

Thank you so much for reading and voting, and I hope you enjoy the Olympics!

1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? 10

Loved how you turned the prosthetic around - so much, in fact, that I didn't even miss the bog-standard fucking-on-the-dishwasher trope :P

2. How well written was the fic? 9

Your writing is always so much fun to read - everything is so sensual and well-described.

3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 10

>.> It's never really super awesome when baby wakes up and demands attention at odd hours, but it was extra irksome when he kept doing it mid-scene WHEN THINGS WERE GETTING ALL HOT AND MUSCLEY. I mean. Um. I love my son and I would never rush to get him back to sleep just so mommy can has delicious descriptions of backs...never.

HELLO DARLING! I FEEL LIKE I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO YOU IN A MILLION YEARS? How are you? I hope you and your sprog are doing well ♥

Ahahaha, I had the most fun playing with expectations; I made my blurb as vague as possible with the hope it would be a surprise, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. And yes, no fucking-on-dishwashers, or any other type of machinery due to time constraints; you know how long my sex scenes go for, so I wouldn't have had the time. Still, I think it worked out all right in the end, and I'm so glad you had fun reading it!

I think it's a law of the multiverse that, in any situation where Kurogane can possibly get his kit off, Fai will be there and ogling that glorious expanse of well-muscled back. And I am sure you would never do such a thing to your wee babby so that you could also appreciate said gloriously well-muscled back. Ahem. *cough*

Thank you so much for reading and voting, and I hope that your teeny one sleeps well during naptime so you can enjoy the rest of the Olympics! :*

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(Team Sci Fi) [Repairman and Customer] A Sum of Many Parts

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