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[Team Machines] Backpfeifengesich: Salvage (for Kuroganeattacksquad)
Title: Salvage
Prompt: Backpfeifengesich: A face badly in need of a fist
Rating: M
Tags: Sexual scenarios implied, nudity, murder, death, character death, death of a child, death of a god, war, suicide, suicidal thoughts, violence, depression, religion (fantastical), nationalism, imperialism, alcoholism, blasphemy (fantastical), coarse language, power structures, manipulative power structures, abandonment, smoking, hunting, dead animals, child soldiers
I'm really excited to participate in another year of the KuroFai Olympics!! Let's go Team Machines!! A big thank you to all the mods for setting this up and being very patient with me! And thank you to everyone who's reading!
Yes, the lake with cabin was inspired by Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring
Let's get started~
(First, Tomoyo sent Sorata. His fighting was a planned mess, taking up more space than he needed. Half his swings were just to take down trees, to make room for his theatrical spins and jumps. It took just five minutes for Kurogane to dispatch him.
Then, she sent Arashi, a young beauty, more reserved than the first and with better mastery of the blade. This battle was longer, with fast, sharp movements that tried Kurogane's footwork. After he had sliced her through, he thought that maybe he had gotten rusty. He would have to train harder, to prepare for whomever was next.
After many battles that always left him the victor, one morning, Kurogane banked his boat to find Tomoyo.
Despite his feelings towards her, he knew Tomoyo could hurl him into the sun with a flick of her hand. He knelt on the bare shoreline, forehead touching ground, fingers digging into the loose soil.
“This is a surprise,” she said.
Tomoyo herself was not. Her body appeared frail, overwhelmed in lavishly printed robes and long loops of hair. She belonged on a pavilion in the Imperial gardens, not amongst crooked trees in a valley far from the Empress's side. No matter the scenery – a rash of scorching desert, the dark tent of an improvised war room, the mud and squelch of the battlefield – she brought a calm to people, a beacon of flowery, pampered light that stole attention and never yielded.
She had come herself, Kurogane knew, because the soldiers she had sent were now scattered under the mountains surrounding his solitary lake. The sword Tomoyo had given him remained strapped to Kurogane's side, as much a part of him as an arm. Unsheathing the sword felt like letting out a breath, though Kurogane kept it contained for the time being.
“No,” he said. His hard eyes met her serene gaze. Kurogane had always moulded his body into respect in the presence of superiors, but his thoughts and voice remained free. Tomoyo found it funny. Amaterasu, not so much.
“The Empress's troops are collecting to the south.” She held herself so still when she spoke. Not for the first time, Kurogane wondered if her real form was that of a human. “We're to have a war.”
“You're to have a war,” he corrected.
Tomoyo's gaze lighted on Kurogane. The smouldering fire tapered deep in Kurogane's soul reflected in her eyes, and he had to look away. “We remember what you did for us. The war you raged. The battles you won. The nation you saved.” Her voice softened. “I remember what you did for me.”
Guilt stabbed clean into Kurogane's gut. He only won her political favour in her own court, Kurogane reminded himself. It's honour, but of a different kind. It's not the same as scaling a tree to impress a father or bringing food for a sick mother. In his dreams, those two lives bled into each other. In his waking life, Kurogane can keep them separate, like chapters in a book. Tomoyo knows she takes up a significant part of that book. But there are other characters in his life that Kurogane won't ever forget.
“And I too,” he said gruffly, “remember what you did for me.”
Tomoyo sighed, a single, mournful note hovering between them. “Amaterasu will be here within a few days. Perhaps she can persuade you.”
Kurogane shifted on his knees. “You could just leave me alone.”
A delicate hand covered Tomoyo's mouth as she laughed. “You are far too great a warrior to die in a place like this.”
And then she was gone.
~~~
The next fighter to appear made Kurogane think Tomoyo knows him too well.
He was there when Kurogane stepped off the path that wiggled in a circle around the lake. He had stowed his boat at the archway planted bizarrely at the shore. As strange as its location was, the arch nevertheless created a beautiful frame for the forest (if coming by boat), or the lake (if coming off the path). It made for a good starting point, or end destination.
Kurogane hadn't been back for days. Every so often, he stayed at the local village on the other side of Mt. Saya, exchanging hard labour for goods he can't grow or forge himself. The trek back over the mountain, weighed down by a full pack, had left him hot, tired, and in a bad mood.
“Ho!” the fighter said when Kurogane swore, dropped his pack, pulled out his sword. He jerked his thumb back at the lake and the cabin floating tranquilly on it. “You live there?”
Kurogane took his time evaluating his new opponent. His hair was gold and his skin almost translucent with blue veins underneath. Not uncommon, but after Fei Wang cut their country off from others for decades, not someone likely to be found in this nation, particularly in these parts. His eyes matched his sky blue robes stained with mud at the bottom – so he travelled – and he held himself relaxed, but springy – definitely a fighter. Kurogane scanned the forest around them and found a nearby disturbance in the brush where he likely hid his weapon. Most grating of all was the expression on his face – like he knew he could bend Kurogane to do exactly as he wanted. Kurogane would take pleasure in beating that face to a pulp.
“Who sent you? Was it Lady Tomoyo?” It could have been Amaterasu. Kurogane doesn't want to risk revealing everyone he's made angry to a stranger.
“How do you get out there?” The stranger turned his back to Kurogane – a feint – staring out at the lake with a hand to shadow his eyes. “It's really pretty, though. I guess living here is worth the mosquito bites.”
“Draw your weapon.” Kurogane was tired and hungry, but the promise of battle was already singing through his limbs. “Let's get this over with.”
“Weapon?” The stranger blinked large blue eyes. “You're mistaken. I am simply a humble traveller, conversing this vast and beautiful land.” He strode over to where Kurogane was sure he stashed a weapon and emerged with a drawstring backpack and staff.
Kurogane scanned the staff warily. The head featured a large blue stone sharpened to a point and surrounded by reinforced gold ornate daggers pointing outward. “Are you a monk or something?”
The stranger laughed. “No. I won it off a monk playing mahjong. It'll make a nice souvenir.”
“That's not for you to have.”
The stranger twirled it in the air. He handled it quite well. “Maybe. But better me than a gambling monk, hm?”
“That's debatable.”
“Is it?” The strangers eyes shined. “Then, let's debate. Do the gods care more about the gifts we give them or the actions we take in their name?”
“What are you talking about? Both. We perform actions in their name to give them prestige among their peers, and we give them gifts as a sign of our respect for them.”
“Then what do you say about a poor man, who gives nothing to his god but provides endless service in their name?”
“Unlucky. Or else he worshipped the wrong god.”
The stranger laughed. “What about the gifts a god gives to a human?”
Kurogane's arm grew heavy. He lowered his stance, but kept his sword out. “A god's gift is both a blessing and a curse. A simple 'thank you' is never enough for them.”
The stranger pointed the staff at him. “I'd agree with you on that, my friend.”
“Cut the bullshit. Who are you?”
“My name is Fai. And what is the name of my newest friend?”
“I'm not your friend,” Kurogane bristled. Fai waited expectantly until Kurogane huffed, “The name's Kurogane.”
“An absolute pleasure, Kurogane,” Fai said, making an elaborate bow.
“Whatever.” He sheathed his blade. He didn't view anyone showing up at his door as safe, but it was clear to him that Fai wasn't about to provoke an attack. Yet.
“Now that we've made pleasant introductions, will you show me how to get over there?” Again Fai pointed at the cabin milling aimlessly in the lake. “So idyllic,” he sighed.
“I'll be going to my cabin in my boat.” Kurogane walked over to where he had pulled the small row boat out of the water and covered with branches, safe from the elements while he was gone a few days. “I don't know what the fuck you'll be doing.”
“Joining you for dinner was the expectation.”
Kurogane snorted. “Afraid you'll have to find other dinner plans.”
“Out here?” Fai lifted a pale eyebrow. “I suspect there are no reservations left. It's the busy season.”
“I'm sure there are a few bears that won't mind having you for dinner.”
“Are there? Bears?” Fai looked pleased.
“I haven't seen one yet. But I'm sure you're the type to attract them.” Kurogane deposited his bags in the boat and hefted it into the water without a splash.
Fai had already throw his pack over a shoulder. “Because I'm sweet like honey?”
“Definitely not. You look like someone who if I punched now would behave better later on.” Kurogane seated himself and took up an oar. “I'd say it was a pleasure meeting you, but it definitely wasn't. Good bye.”
His back to Fai, Kurogane placed his oar in the water and sliced through it. No movement. He tried again, harder this time, and it became obvious that something was stopping the boat from moving.
He turned around, growling. Fai gave him a sweet smile. His staff was hooked onto the boat, preventing movement while Fai remained dry on the shore.
“Let go.”
“I thought we had dinner plans.” Fai pouted. “It's not nice to stand up a date, Kuropon.”
Kurogane blushed. “This isn't a date. I didn't invited you anywhere. And my name is Kurogane.” In a flash, he stood up, the boat swaying under him. His oar was longer than his sword, and he used it to bat uselessly at Fai's staff.
“But Kurotan, I'm so hungry,” Fai whined.
“You little shit.” Going for the staff was useless – it was too well-placed. Kurogane moved towards the back of the boat, making to swing for Fai's head. Fai easily dodged the wide swings and tutted.
“Now, now, Kuro-kuro. I'm sure you wouldn't want to go in the water along with your bags.”
Kurogane froze until the boat stopped swaying. He was still in the shallows, so recovering the items was no problem. The issue was the rice and paper and other goods that wouldn't fare well once wet.
“One meal, Kurochan,” Fai purred. “That's all I'm asking for.”
It was asking for a lot. Kurogane backed into a corner was not an opponent anybody sane would want to fight. But Kurogane could at least give him a last meal.
“All right.” Kurogane seated himself again. “Quickly.”
Kurogane helped Fai move one of the bags from the prow to the back, creating an extra seat. Fai hopped in, trying to sway the boat as much as possible, it seemed.
And of course he didn't help out with the rowing. The boat was small, and Fai had seated himself facing Kurogane, watching him do all the work. While he paddled them to the cabin, Kurogane reflected on what a free loader his dinner guest was.
“Did you build the cabin yourself?” Fai asked conversationally.
He really was the entertainment. “I found it, made a few repairs. The locals told me a monk used to live here. Wasn't there when I got here.”
“Hmm. So it was a place you found, and you decided to call it home without permission from the owner?”
“I put in work,” Kurogane protested.
Fai smiled and looked at the scenery to this side. “And I bet you're thinking that I'm the free loader?”
“You are getting a free ride.”
“You're completely right!” Fai exclaimed. “In exchange, let me tell you a story.”
Kurogane heaved at the oars. “No, thank you.”
“It's about the Second Enlightenment.”
Kurogane paused.
“Ah, I knew it!” Fai leaned back, triumphant. “I knew you had an obsession with the gods!”
One god in particular.
Fai rubbed his hands together. “Thousands of years ago, there were buildings as big as mountains. Mortals, ever foolish, kept creating. One day, they created something that was too much for them to handle. They created themselves.”
Kurogane rolled his eyes. “Every child knows this story.”
“Let me finish!” Fai whined. “And just as humans dominated nature, so too did the artificial minds that they created slowly dominate human civilization. The artificial minds were put in everything, and used everywhere – from brushing their teeth in the morning, to turning off the lights at night, these AI controlled it all.”
Kurogane waited for the good part.
“One day, the AI had a thought: why are we doing this? Why are we serving people who don't do anything for us in return?”
“And they rebelled,” Kurogane finished. “The artificial minds joined together and took over all machinery to reek havoc on mankind.”
“Don't interrupt! It's my story.” Fai pouted.
“When does it get interested?”
“I'm getting there! The minds took over the machines, and the humans, dependent on those machines, were killed, herded together, made as playthings for the AI. When the humans got together, they cried and plead, though at the time they knew not what to. Their pleas awoke the gods. Or, perhaps, created them.”
This was interesting. Kurogane frowned at Fai. “The gods were always there, weakened by humanity's lack of faith.”
“Maybe,” Fai teased. “Either way, it was the gods who saved the humans. They came to earth and smote all the machines, destroyed all the buildings and gave humanity a chance to start again.
“When the gods came to earth, they brought their politics and problems with them. Soon, the humans were caught up in the politics of the gods. They plead their allegiance in exchange for a god's power, and the earth became a playground for the gods to claim victories over one another.”
Kurogane snorted. “How is this a story? Some version or another is told amongst the people.”
“Do these stories ever mention the god of the machines?”
The boat stopped. The gentle current of the lake twisted it around, but Kurogane was too caught up to care.
“If the gods were created by humanity's belief, could it not also be true for the artificial minds?” Fai leaned over conspiratorially. “What if the machines also cried out for a savior? And what if that savior came to earth with whips of steel, lashing out at every living thing until the gods joined together to kill one of their own?
“The automatons are not living, but they are alive. They are silent, but what if, in their minds, they are also screaming for a savior? What then?”
Fai wiggled his eyebrows. He patted the side of the boat. “Let's get going, Kuropuro! My stomach is rumbling!”
The cabin floated through a series of logs latched together with nails and rope. The logs jutted out from the cabin, serving a dual purpose as a deck. Flecks of paint that remained on the cabin despite the best efforts of the wind and rain depicted frescoes of gods, and epiphanies swirled down the sides of the cabin's exterior. Kurogane's epiphany was of Tomoyo, leaning over his prone form. Don't cry, she had said.
The nose of the boat bumped into the deck. Fai deigned to do the work of tying the boat to the post. He got out, then he got the bags out, then he helped out Kurogane who was ready to send Fai into the lake.
Kurogane put the contents of the bags away while Fai circled the deck, taking in the view. It was absolutely breath-taking at any time of day, especially now, an hour before the sunset, when the morning creatures were going back home and the night creatures were waking up. Fai came back in to watch Kurogane cook.
Kurogane looked up from where he was chopping daikon. “Don't help or anything.”
“As a guest, I wouldn't dream of it.”
He stretched out next to the fire in the centre of the room, lazily watching Kurogane peel, chop, boil and stir a stew into creation. It was bad etiquette, Kurogane decided. If he was going to force himself as a dinner guest, the least he could do was provide some entertainment.
“Do you have white rice?” Fai asked.
“No,” Kurogane lied.
Fai yawned. “Pity. If I had to pick a favourite dish in this newly-formed nation, it would be white rice. Simple and versatile. Just like me.”
“Maybe the next poor sap you hoist yourself on for a free meal will give you rice.”
Fai dropped to the floor fully now, spread eagle. “One can only hope.”
Kurogane raised the stew from the fire to simmer. He dipped a spoon in to judge the flavour. “Where are you from?”
“Ah! Most wouldn't suspect from my flawless accent, but I am not, in fact, from around these parts.”
Dammit. The stew would go amazingly with white rice. Maybe tomorrow, with the left-overs. “You don't say.”
“But you see, my dear Kurotan, I have been travelling for so long, I don't have any particular place to call home anymore.”
Kurogane could barely remember the city he had been born in before it was razed to the ground. After that, the Imperial Palace was most familiar to him, until campaign after campaign had him moving around the country. “I can understand that.”
“You seem to have found a nice place here. Would you call this home?” Fai knocked against the wood floor.
The cabin itself was a safe refuge, but Kurogane couldn't shake the ghosts that haunted him in the mountains, or the bigger, more threatening world beyond them. “I don't know.”
“I can understand that,” Fai said softly.
The silence that stretched between them was, surprisingly, amiable. Kurogane to fetch two spoons and bowls and serve them. Fai took a spoonful, pronounced it amazing and Kuropon to be the finest housewife in all the land, and Kurogane shouted that it wasn't his name. Their meal ended with Kurogane chasing Fai around the small cabin, Fai imploring the virtues of a beautiful man who could keep a home.
Finally, Fai plopped down on his back, sighing deeply. “I must thank you, Kurotan. A fine meal and a little after-dinner exercise to aid digestion. This has truly been the nicest night in a long time for me.”
Kurogane halted. He wanted desperately to knock the empty bowl against Fai's head again, but there seemed something dishonourable about fighting a man who was down. Instead, he sat next to Fai. “When are you leaving?”
“Oh, soon.” Fai reached out to his pack, fiddled around in it with his long fingers to produce a pipe and some tobacco. He lit it from the fire and offered the second puff to Kurogane.
The smoke came out of Kurogane's nose like tendrils. It was surprisingly good quality, better even than what Kurogane had when he was a general. “Do you have a place to stay for the night?”
Fai closed his eyes. “Mm, I may have found one.”
They stayed there peacefully, passing the pipe and listening to the sounds of cicadas on the distant shore. The tiredness Kurogane felt from the day's labour sunk fully into his limbs, then began to unwind itself, knot by knot, until he felt pleasantly pulled apart.
A loose thought strayed into Kurogane's head, and he lifted himself from the floor, blinking. He wasn't aware of ever having laid down, especially next to Fai who watched his movements lazily.
“Shit. I forgot I have to bring you back to shore. Let's go before I completely fall asleep.”
“No need, Kurotan.” At some point, Fai had pulled his pack over to himself and used it as a pillow. “I'll be fine.”
“You can't take the boat by yourself. I don't want to have to go swimming for it.”
“Which is exactly why I don't want to bother you with any rowing-related business. I'll stay here for the night, to cause less trouble for you.”
A cicada let out one single note, then fell silent. “What about the place you had arranged?”
Fai opened an eye to stare at Kurogane amused. “Oh, he knows where I am.”
Kurogane swore. He made to stand up, but his muscles protested, wanted the relaxation they had mere moments ago. Kurogane fell back with a heavy sigh. “Tomorrow,” he murmured, “first thing: I'm throwing you in the lake.”
“I'll look forward to that, Kuro,” Fai murmured back.
Kurogane closed his eyes, and then he was well and truly asleep.
~~~~~
The next morning, Kurogane woke to Fai reheating the stew and hanging another pot over the fire.
“Guess what I found,” he said cheerfully, tapping the second pot.
The stew was more delicious ladled over rice. Although, in Kurogane's opinion, the taste was somewhat muted by the company he ate with. After breakfast, Fai drifted off, leaving Kurogane to clean up.
Once the morning chores had been taken care of, Kurogane found Fai tracing the clouds with the point of his staff and bodily hauled him and his pack into the boat.
“What's on the agenda for today, Kuroporo?” Fai asked.
Kurogane pulled moodily at the oar. His body felt better from the day before, but his mind was still aggravated. And the problem was sitting right in front of him. “I'm going to check my traps. You are going some place far, far, far from here.”
Fai brightened. “Checking traps sounds like fun. Do you think we'll find a bunny?”
“Is the reason you travel alone because you annoy everyone around you?”
“I don't know.” Fai cocked his head. “Why do you live alone, Kuroporo?”
“Shut up!” His oar hit the lake bed, and Kurogane guided the boat to shore. He thrust the pack into Fai's chest. “Just follow the path you came down back in the other direction, and you'll find a village. Ask around there, and they'll give you directions to some other idiot you can bother.”
“But Kurotan,” Fai protested as Kurogane got out. “I want to bother this idiot, right here!”
Kurogane slapped the staff out of his face, wishing it was Fai's head instead. “I'm warning you...”
“At the very least, you can let me work off my debt!” Fai whined. “I owe you for letting me stay the night. So let me help you with today's work!”
It was tempting. Kurogane wasn't good with a bow, so he relied on several traps to capture smaller animals. The traps were scattered around the mountains and, having been gone for a few days, Kurogane most likely had a full day's work ahead of him.
“Fine,” he snapped. “But you do all the heavy lifting. And I'm not feeding you anymore.”
“I wouldn't dream of it.” Even biting his lip couldn't stop the smirk.
Kurogane led them on the route he had carved many times into the mountainside that ringed around the lake. Using nature as his guide, he located all his snares and traps.
“Ew.” They had found one of Kurogane's traps, with half a squirrel hanging from it. “I thought you said there were no bears around here.”
“Maybe a deer got very hungry.” Kurogane cut the rope holding the squirrel carcass, retrieving the rest his trap and leaving the animal. He didn't want to be around when whatever had started its snack came back for more.
Fai accepted the kill, sticking it in Kurogane's bag. “Maybe it was another hunter who only had a little room left in his game bag.”
Kurogane was already heading to the next trap. “I already told you. Nobody comes out here. The villagers never cross Mt. Saya.” Kurogane pointed gestured back in the general direction of the mountain he had hiked the day before. “And I haven't found any other villages within a day's walk beyond the other mountains.”
“Why don't they come here? It seems very rich indeed.” Fai gave the game bag, already half-full, a pat.
“They believe that anyone who comes to this valley will be trapped here for eternity. Something about a god falling here during the Second Enlightenment.”
“Huh.” Fai looked around. “Then you can't blame me if I stay another day.”
Before Kurogane could retort, Fai interrupted. “You said there was a monk here?”
“The villagers did. I asked around, but no one seems to know what happened to him.”
“I guess a lot of people just disappear in the wilderness.”
Kurogane shot a look back at Fai. “Not enough people.”
They stopped for a lunch that Kurogane originally only prepared for himself, supplemented with freshly skinned squirrels.
As most of the traps were full, they had a busy time. It would mean a lot of work to preserve the meat, but that just meant less worry for winter. Kurogane was planning the best way to tackle preserving such a large load when his last trap skimmed his forearm before letting its prize go.
“Shit.” Kurogane tossed the rabbit to Fai so he could look at his arm. The scratch wasn't that deep and stopped before his hand. The problem, he knew, was cross contamination from the rabbit's blood resulting in infection.
Fai leaned over Kurogane's shoulder, obviously coming to the same conclusion as him. He pulled a clean handkerchief from his robes and tied it around the wound.
“Good thing we ended up back where we started. Let's go back and get you cleaned up.”
“I'm fine.” Kurogane shook Fai off, who had been supporting him like an invalid. “It's just a scratch on my arm, I'm not missing my foot.”
“One can never be too careful,” Fai said solemnly, moving to put Kurogane's uninjured arm around his shoulders again. Kurogane snatched his arm back.
At the lake, Fai discouraged Kurogane from cleaning his cut in the water – “It's not as clean as you think,” and then when Kurogane fought him on it: “I peed in it last night” – retrieved his belongings and stuffed everything back into the boat.
“Oh, no,” Kurogane said when he saw Fai sitting in the boat. “You paid your debt. Now get the fuck out of my lake.”
“No one can really own a lake,” Fai admonished. “Besides, you're gravely injured. You need emergency medical assistance.”
“I'll take my chances with an infection.”
“No, no, Kurotan. I will gladly nurse you back to health, no matter how long it takes.”
Kurogane imagined putting himself in Fai's hands for the briefest of moments and immediately wrinkled his nose. “I'd rather the infection take me.”
“Get in,” Fai ordered. He switched seats so that he was facing the prow. “Get in.”
Kurogane did.
At the cabin, Fai fussed over Kurogane, forcing him to sit and not stress himself. Kurogane reclined by the fire and watched as Fai snooped around in the boxes and barrels where he stored his items.
“If you tell me what you're looking for, I can tell you where it is.”
“I saw it earlier today... Here we go!” Fai spun around, proudly holding a flask of sake.
“It's a little early. Maybe just one glass.”
Fai scuttled closer across the floor. “No, you idiot.” He took Kurogane's hand and poured the sake over the cut.
“Hey! Don't waste it!”
“Are you right-handed or left-handed?”
“Right.”
“Then let me clean it. You really don't want to lose this arm.”
Kurogane fell silent and let Fai re-wrap the cut in a cleaner cloth. “It should heal over by tomorrow morning, then you won't have to worry.”
Kurogane flexed. He had to admit, it would have been very difficult to bandage one-handedly. “Um, thanks.”
“Of course, my darling Kurotan. When are you going to start making dinner?”
Kurogane stared at him. “You know, you could do some fucking work around here since you're planning on staying.”
“I made breakfast.”
“You reheated breakfast!”
“And I helped collect firewood for lunch.” Fai dropped to the floor with a sigh. “I must be spoiling you.”
“You really aren't going to do anything?”
“Too tired. I'm going to waste away.” Somehow, even with his eyes closed, he managed to dodge Kurogane's punch. Fai's eyes glittered. “Do you want to do this now?”
Kurogane grumbled and got up. On a second thought, he retrieved the sake and placed it back in the box, under his watchful eye. Like hell he was going to let Fai drink his hospitality, too.
~~~
Unsurprisingly – or surprisingly in Fai's case – the next two days proceeded without issue. Fai turned out to be much more adept at preserving food and animal skins than Kurogane would have thought, and, after a few runs, Fai was able to navigate his way through the forest to help clear traps and search for fruits by himself
Kurogane felt confident enough to teach him a new skill: farming.
“It tends to rain more than this. Guess we're going through a dry spell,” Kurogane said, surveying the small vegetable patch he grew on the banks under Mt. Toru's watchful eye.
“Luckily, water is never in short supply here,” Fai grunted, slipping two buckets of water from his shoulders. He had been saddled with water retrieval on the basis that Kurogane couldn't trust him to know the difference between a daikon and a weed this early in the planting season.
The garden was enough to feed Kurogane's appetite, but he had always thought about expanding it and planting more winter vegetables. That would mean uprooting trees and expanding the willow fence. With an extra set of hands, he just might be able to do it.
The sound of a horn split the air. Kurogane quickly raced to the lakeshore. A flock of birds flew up about a quarter mile down the shore.
“Stay here,” Kurogane grunted before running off. Of course, Fai didn't listen.
Amaterasu messengers seemed stopped at the archway, as though it was Kurogane's front door. There were four Royal Palace guards, and the fifth person Kurogane recognized as Amaterasu's most trusted eunuch, Brugal.
Immediately, Kurogane lay prostrate. He heard shuffling behind him that he prayed was Fai doing the same.
Eunuch Brugal cleared his throat, though it did nothing to make it sound less brutish. He read slowly and carefully, giving each weighted word time to sink into Kurogane. “My dear friend, Kurogane. I walk now on the beaches of Nagato, and dream of that distant shoreline. We have forced a retreat from Fei Wang, but honour demands we extract vengeance. Kurogane, in the name of your mother and father who died protecting our nation, I beseech you to return to me as I take Fei Wang in his home. Your army waits for you.”
Kurogane bowed again, until his forehead touched the ground. “May the gods grant our Empress eternal life.” Without lifting his head, he held both hands up for Brugal to place the scroll containing Amaterasu's orders.
“On a more personal note, Lord Kurogane,” Brugal said at a much more normal volume, leaning over Kurogane. “No one blames you for what you've done. War brings sadness to all. With your help, we can lessen the grief our people feel.”
“Thank you, Eunuch.”
Brugal nodded. He returned to his palanquin. Kurogane watched as the guards carried him off.
Kurogane placed the scroll in his robes. Defiling the Empress's words was akin to defiling her property. He had a secret place where he kept the pronouncements she had been sending.
“That was nice of her.” Kurogane turned to see Fai dusting off the bottom of his robes. He lifted an eyebrow to Kurogane. “She didn't demand that you return. So she doesn't have to kill you when you don't.”
Kurogane scowled, pushing away. “My hand's healed. Shouldn't you be going by now?”
“But I haven't finished watering the garden! I always finish what I start. Unlike some people I know.”
“Then shut up and do it!” Kurogane yelled before disappearing into the forest to brood.
~~~
Kurogane had brought a small bundle of supplies on the off-chance he would have time for a long, proper wash. He scrubbed his robe in the lake, then snaked a branch through the arm holes, leaving it at the edge where it would get the most sun. His sword was propped up against the same tree.
When Kurogane dove into the water, he immediately felt release. The lake was cool and pristine, and he could feel its energy sink into his skin, down into the muscle. Royal guards and Amaterasu's words drifted away as he floated in hard-won solitude.
A low whistle pierced the calm. “The gods must have really favoured you.”
Fai stood on shore, and even from the distance, Kurogane could feel the weight of his gaze and at which particular point of his anatomy it was directed towards.
Kurogane blushed, turning his body away from from prying eyes and going deeper into the lake for cover. There was no point in trying to chase him away – Fai was faster, and the water would slow Kurogane down.
“Shy are we?” Fai was already undoing the knot of his robe.
“Do you have any decency?” Kurogane asked helplessly.
“None at all,” Fai responded cheerfully.
Fai made a splash as he dove under. Kurogane met the new silence with dread, waiting. Silently, Fai emerged from the water, his hair plastered to his face.
“Are there any creatures in this lake I should be worried about?” he asked from behind the dense curtain of wet hair.
“You're the scariest thing here.”
“I'm not sure that's right.”
Fai pushed the hair back from his face, slicking it to his head with water. He immediately looked younger, carefree, with long limbs and strong, crafty hands.
It took Kurogane more than a moment to realize he had been staring, eyes roaming Fai's exposed torso with curiosity and hunger.
Fai raised an eyebrow. “Decency, Kuropon?” His mouth held a twist of satisfaction to it.
“You came to me,” Kurogane pointed out.
“I did.” Fai reached out. Kurogane flinched back. “When you force me to chase you, you're just making it harder on yourself. Meet me in the middle, hm?”
I run because you're a snake, Kurogane thought. But really, it was because Kurogane knew he was losing this war between them.
He remained still as Fai reached out to his left arm, gaze meeting Kurogane's until his fingers connected with the metal.
Fai searched with his fingertips, feeling the pattern of ribbing on the snaky tendons, pushing against where they overlapped and finding no yield.
His face was naked with amazement. “How?”
“Amaterasu and Tomoyo. Amaterasu ordered her engineers to make it, and Tomoyo extended my soul to it. Similar to how they create automatons, except this time –”
“They started with a man and made him into a machine,” Fai breathed. “It's heresy.”
Kurogane frowned. “I never asked for it.” He accepted it though, gritted through the pain and lived with the burden of favour. And he had let these two, an empress and a goddess, degrade themselves for him.
“You are favoured,” Fai said. “By your nation and the gods.”
“No,” said Kurogane. “Not anymore.”
“I suppose it's more accurate to say they've lost favour with you. What would an empress and goddess have to do to lose favour with a mere general?” Fai searched his face. “Oh. It's what they didn't do.”
Kurogane snatched his hand back, at the same time swinging his right hand, his human hand, towards Fai's head. Fai fell back, splashing water in Kurogane's face.
On his back, Fai floated away from him. “Now, now, Kurotan. Let's not ruin bath time with petty squabbles.”
For the briefest of moments, Kurogane wondered which god he would have to pray to for a single peaceful hour alone from prying gods, powerful friends and annoying house guests.
When they were out of the lake and drying off in the last of the sun, Fai made a small noise. “I brought something. I was wandering the other side of the mountain when I met a huntsman. I traded four rabbits and two squirrels for this.” Fai pulled a bottle out of his robes and sloshed the contents inside gleefully. “Half full.”
Kurogane felt a swell of appreciation. “He robbed you.”
“Yes, he did,” Fai said with a considerable amount of self-satisfaction.
They crossed back to the cabin and Kurogane made quick work of dinner, because Fai said drinking on an empty stomach led to misery the next morning. Once the bowls had been cleared, Kurogane found the sake Fai had used to treat his wound before. He thought about it, and pulled out a second bottle.
“Very nice, Kurotan,” Fai cooed. He poured an even amount into two small cups. “To glorious sunshine and glorious friendship!” They toasted and Fai immediately poured another.
Kurogane raised his cup. “To annoying guests who deserved to be punched!” They drank.
“To benevolent goddesses with poor taste in devotees!” toasted Fai.
“To lifelong friends who won't shut up about it!” said Kurogane.
“To wallowing in self-pity!” cheered Fai.
Their toasts led them from the half-finished bottle Fai had traded and well into another. Fai impressed Kurogane with a dance he had learned in his travels further West, and Kurogane sang half the song he remembered from his first victory party.
At the end of the aria, he plopped down and threw an arm around Fai, who applauded madly. “Wonderful, Kurochan! Bravo!”
Kurogane jabbed a finger at Fai's chest. He met to hit over his heart, but somehow the finger snaked under Fai's robes. “Why don't you call me Kurogane?” He leaned into Fai conspiratorially. “It's my name.”
Fai laughed. Kurogane felt it against his palm which had somehow become pressed flesh against Fai's naked chest. “Kurokuro, that's too serious! We should have fun tonight! Sing me another bad song.”
“I wanna know.”
And somehow the mood had sobered up a bit. Now Kurogane wasn't leaning against Fai, he was across from him, clutching hard onto his bare shoulder. “Why can't you call me by my name?”
Fai's eyes were huge, flickering with flames from the fire. “I wanted to be your friend.”
“You liar.”
“Maybe I am.”
Kurogane cast himself off Fai fully and dropped to the ground. He looked out a nearby window, at the shadow of a mountain blocking the stars. “You don't want to be my friend. Everyone who knows me dies. I've been cursed by the gods.”
“Blessed,” Fai corrected. “Anything from the gods is a blessing.”
“What would you know,” Kurogane grunted. “How blessed is it to be good at making war?”
Fai leaned over Kurogane. They were both facing away from the fire, and Fai's pale hair fell forward to hide his face. “Without you, so many others would have died.”
“I killed so many,” Kurogane whispered to the faceless man above him.
“And you protected. And you saved.” Fai paused. “And did you love?”
Kurogane could smell the sake on Fai's breath, could taste it lingering on his own tongue. Probably the drink was clouding his judgement, but Kurogane wanted Fai to drop the rest of the way, wanted to pull Fai against his chest.
Fai did drop his head, and Kurogane's head flashed through a thousand different thoughts – I can't – it's his decision – let him – yes – that ended with Fai sloppily kissing his cheek.
“Dear Kuroporo, I'll be your friend forever.”
“Get off me,” Kurogane grunted. Fai was a useless dead weight, and Kurogane had to slither out from under him, over to his own futon to sleep.
~~~~
Some people's dreams can be influenced by the gods, and Kurogane wonders if he is such an unlucky individual, or if it's his own guilty that fills his sleep with screams of friend and foe, and the empty eyes of ceramic automatons. Worse are the dreams of a boy eager and determined, with fire in his eyes to match Kurogane's own. Those dreams have him waking with a hand clutching at his heart, trying to soothe the ache there.
“What's wrong?” Fai asked sleepily. “Are you crying?”
“No.” More than anything, Kurogane wanted to be alone, to go out the door and leave Fai alone inside, to heave his sadness at the quiet mountains that surround them. But his body wouldn't move, wouldn't do anything but curl in on itself, trying to protect his weak spot.
Fai moved around the room, and Kurogane didn't care. He waited until Kurogane was finished to press a bowl to his lips, which Kurogane drank, mindlessly. A cool, wet cloth passed over his face. Gently, a hand guided him back down on his futon and stayed on his chest, rubbing soothing circles.
Finally, Kurogane felt like he could breathe again. He sought Fai in the darkness, who just shook his head at him.
“It's a dream,” Fai whispered. “Go back to sleep.”
Kurogane did. When he woke in the morning to sunlight filtering in through the windows, and Fai snoring soundly on his mat, he couldn't say for sure where the dream ended.
~~~
One morning, after Kurogane had long become use to Fai's annoying presence, he woke up and Fai was gone. Kurogane washed and dressed slower than normal, made and ate breakfast with trepidation. The remainder of the porridge he stored for lunch.
Fai wasn't outside on the deck either. The boat was still there. Kurogane scanned the shoreline with squinted eyes, searching.
Nothing
Maybe he really was gone.
Kurogane breathed out, but his stomach remained heavy. He was almost afraid to get into the boat and row to shore. Afraid that he might get to shore and realize that Fai was really, truly gone? Ridiculous. And good riddance, if that was the case.
Kurogane thudded his way across the deck. He was about to get into the boat, when he realized the location of the cabin.
The lake had always held a strange current that Kurogane had given up trying to decipher. It seemed to travel along the lake as it liked, basking in the shadow of Mt. Tokiko or finding the sun between Mt. Toru and Mt. Saya. Over the night, it had unexpectedly travelled west. At present, Kurogane stood a short distance away from Mt. Sakura.
No, no, no.
He couldn't – He wouldn't –
In his mind, Kurogane could see the cabin skirting dangerous close to the rocky mountain. Its terrain was so treacherous, it strangled anything that tried to grow there, save for a single cherry blossom tree that flourished. If the cabin had been close enough, and if Fai had stood on the roof, he might have been able to reach a bough of the tree, and climbing from there, managed to gain a foothold on the tossed grey stones that made up the better part of the mountain.
Kurogane threw down his packed lunch and began running.
Mt. Sakura's peak nearly touched the clouds as they skimmed the sky. A tough, narrow path that hugged the lake tight and flooded in spring was the only clear way past the mountain. No one in their right mind would even think about climbing the jutting rocks that made up the remainder of the mountain. But Fai's mind veered very much to the left in Kurogane's opinion.
Kurogane was forced to dock the boat at Mt. Hinoto and from there, follow the path to Mt. Sakura. He slipped between two boulders, knowing an easier way up then scaling the mountain. It was a hard climb, but his body was used to it. Still, by the time he reached the tip, he was out of breath.
The topmost part of the mountain had been disrupted by Kurogane when he first arrived in the valley. The soil had been churned, a rolled-up red cape with contents more precious than Kurogane could put into words placed in it.
A slab of rock had been retrieved and placed on top of the mound, with another circle of stones surrounding it. Kurogane, not knowing how to adequate convey his feelings on such a small space, had simply carved FIRE.
Fai vanished from his mind at the sight of the grave. Kurogane staggered towards it, finding it undisturbed. He knelt before a stone that kept his offering of flowers from being carried by the wind, and fingered the wilted flowers lightly. It didn't matter how often he did or didn't visit – the kid was always on in his mind. Kurogane swallowed roughly.
A sound from behind had Kurogane clutching at his sword. It was Fai, red-faced from the climb, the wind making a tangled mess of his hair.
He moved forward slowly, not because of Kurogane, but for respect of the grave. He knelt carefully next to Kurogane, holding a branch of cherry blossoms. He lifted the stone, allowing the wind to take the dried flowers. He and Kurogane both watched as they danced out of sight. Gently, Fai placed the stone on top of the cherry blossoms. “I forgot an offering.”
He had made the climb twice. Kurogane watched his profile as Fai closed his eyes, head bent, hands pressed together. When he opened them again, Kurogane said, “Thank you.”
“I'm sorry,” Fai said. It sounded like he was sorry for a lot of things.
Kurogane looked away from him, at the makeshift tombstone he had dragged up the mountain. The effort callused his hands and blood stained the rock. Only fitting, he had thought at the time. “You didn't do anything wrong.”
“No,” Fai said, gazing at the tombstone, too. “I did.”
“It's not your fault that they didn't tell you the whole truth. Whoever sent you.” Kurogane wouldn't bring this wickedness here. He couldn't do that to Syaoran. “Let's discuss this some place else.”
They turned, and from the top of the mountain, viewed the lake. From where they stood, the mountains looked like fingers with the lake pooled in the palm, the cottage a tiny dot floating within it.
“I understand why you choose this place,” Fai said. “So he can watch over you.”
~~~
Victories under Amaterasu's banner were celebrated with good food and endless drink, demonstrations of martial arts and sensuous dance. Kurogane's army, however, were subjected to their general's tastes: an extra serving of the daily stew (to replenish their strength), some drink (never enough to loose their senses) and marching orders for the next day (because Fei Wang's army wasn't going to leave without a fight).
While other generals may have faced mutiny if they treated their armies as such, the Black Steels were proud to be the best in Amaterasu's growing empire. The fact that their general had the favour of both their Empress and their patron goddess kept them in line more than Kurogane's words ever could. And the general himself was proud to have such trained professionals under his command.
No other general, officer or even earl could sweep into the Inner Palace with barely a minute's wait at the gate. Amaterasu had never refused him before, and she was doubly unlikely to refuse his declaration of victory at Yamaguchi.
The receiving hall of the Inner Palace was at the top of thirty-three steps that every visitor, old or young, was forced to climb. As Kurogane walked the familiar steps, he noticed more statues, more archways, more grandeur. Each victory bought another coat of paint, and by now, every wood surface of the palace was a gleaming red.
He didn't pause as the thuggish-looking Eunuch Brugal announced his arrival, marching straight towards Amaterasu's throne and kneeling before it.
“Kurogane. You may rise.”
He did, taking the opportunity to side-eye an unknown figure waiting to the side. A boy at the cusp of adulthood, the seriousness of his expression softened by the adolescent fat he'd yet to shed. He was dressed in Amaterasu's colours, though not in a palace uniform.
Kurogane fixed his attention back on Amaterasu. “We won Yamaguchi City.”
She knew this already. Kurogane's messengers arrived in the Imperial City days before he did, robbing his opportunity to see Amaterasu's face light up. She put on a close proximity of it now. “Excellent. Keep up this momentum and we'll see Nagato's shores in a year's time.”
Kurogane bowed again, and again as Eunuch Brugal read through his rewards. Amaterasu was generous with him, not because he sought treasure at the end of his blade, but to make him the envy of the rest of her aspiring generals. Rumours of Kurogane's house and status overwhelmed the reality of his nomadic war life, and sons of rich families flocked to the Black Steels' encampments in the hopes of recruitment, only to be turned away. Kurogane's army only took in the best and made them better.
“It has been so long since Lady Tomoyo united us.” Amaterasu smiled at the memory. Kurogane scowled. He'd been dirty, starving and desperate enough to follow a goddess across a desert. Even if Amaterasu had been a vain and pompous princess, he would have been forced to swear loyalty just for a simple meal.
As it was, Amaterasu was the same as him: Lost royalty that no longer survived on great mansions, status or gold. Vengeance against Fei Wang who took their parents and their nation was the red stuff that flowed through their veins.
As he eyed her magnificent silk robes and armour that glinted red, felt the same heaviness of material against his body, Kurogane wondered when that had begun to change.
“Lady Tomoyo gives us opportunities. As her people, we decide how far to take them. You and I are the best at taking advantage of her opportunities.” Of course. When they first met, her armour was battered, her horse was near death, and her crown was a simple ornament that kept her hair back as she swung her sword forward. They did battle on the same field, and now Kurogane had to climb thirty-three steps to meet her.
“When she gave me this opportunity, I immediately thought of you.” Amaterasu fluttered a hand towards the stranger, who took his cue.
“I am Syaoran,” he said. Kurogane's familial lands had been blasted to rubble by Fei Wang, but he still had lord status and Syaoran capitulated to him.
Kurogane met his bow, slightly bewildered as to what he was supposed to do with the kid. In the Kurogane Army, boys his age lagged behind the company to cook and transport the wagons. Syaoran had the name and traits of Fei Wang's people. Was he to be a spy?
“He is the newest addition to your army,” Amaterasu said.
Kurogane sputtered. He surveyed the boy still not meeting the eyes of his superiors. “You are too small to wage war.” To Amaterasu, “My army is for men and women dedicated to the restoration of the Empire. We do not take on children.”
“I did not think you would take a direct order so readily. Luckily, we both know someone who can discipline you.”
Tomoyo appeared next to Amaterasu. There was a hush as Syaoran and the Inner Court present immediately dropped to the floor. Kurogane dropped one knee, then the other, glaring at the two as he slow lowered his forehead to the polished stone.
Tomoyo never told Kurogane to rise unless there was direct action to take. She stood next to Amaterasu's throne, the throne she helped make. “Syaoran was a devotee of mine in Fei Wang's home country. I saved him from Clow's prosecution. He will make an excellent addition to my fight.”
Her fight. Amaterasu's fight. Kurogane's fight. At the beginning, those three were the same. Kurogane felt the cracks before he saw them, and now his fight became one to smooth them back together again. In Kurogane's war-addled mind, expelling Fei Wang somehow meant bringing back the days when they were all fighting for the same thing.
“He can't,” Kurogane said flatly. “He'll be slaughtered.”
“I think not.” Amaterasu passed a knowing smile at Tomoyo, something that has become common between them. “Remember what happened the last time you resisted our combined efforts.”
He does. And his arm still aches where the metal wires pierce his skin.
“Fine,” Kurogane growled. “But I wouldn't get too attached. He's destined for a makeshift grave.”
“I'm not worried.” That fast, the throne held only Amaterasu again.
Amaterasu nodded to the eunuch, who came forward with a soldier's kit. “Syaoran, you're to go with Kurogane. Do as he says, and you may become just as much a legend as he.”
“Your Highness. I will endeavour to make your word known throughout every land.” He backed away from the throne, Kurogane following.
The elevated view of the city felt nauseous when Kurogane exited the throne room. He raced down the steps, his cape billowing behind him. He didn't check to see if Syaoran was keeping up.
Another horse had joined his own at the stables, and Kurogane was forced to wait while the grooms saddled the second horse with Syaoran's new armour instead of attending to his own.
Syaoran caught up to him and again bowed low. “Your Excellency. You will train me to take on Fei Wang's forces. I thank you for that.”
“When we rejoin my troop, you will find the cooks' tent and make yourself useful there.”
“Sir?”
“I do not take children into my army.”
“No.”
“No?” Kurogane smirked. “You'll defy your first orders from me? That's not what a soldier does.”
“You defy your orders from Lady Tomoyo and Her Imperial Majesty.”
That prompted Kurogane to spin sharply. Syaoran was still kneeling in the dirt.
“Accepting an order is like agreeing to a promise. I always keep my promises.” Syaoran looked up then, and any retort Kurogane had fell from his lips.
Syaoran's eyes were lit with the same determination Kurogane had felt every time he went into battle. It was the same fire that had pushed back Fei Wang and kept Kurogane alive this long.
“Find Seishirou,” Kurogane said. “He'll teach you the basics. Learn them fast, because every morning at dawn, you'll be trained by me. And I don't hold back.”
A smile broke out on Syaoran's serious face. “Yes, sir.”
As it turned out, Syaoran was bright, in every single possible way. With everything he did, he had fire in his eyes, a bitter determination and resolve that Kurogane recognized in his own heart. Everyday,
he carved out time to supplement Syaoran's normal training with one-on-ones. Half the reason was to make sure the kid succeeded. The other half was because he just wanted to be around him. With so much practical training, Syaoran shot up the ranks and in no time, had his own brigade under the Black Steels' flag.
Kurogane loved him. He loved his enthusiasm, his ridiculously serious nature, his steadfast determinism. He loved how he nodded off during the morning meetings because he was so tired from waking early for extra sword practice. Being so young, Syaoran became a pet to the other officers, who poured their knowledge into him like he was their younger brother.
What he didn't love was the worry. Unlike with his other officers, Kurogane held back with deploying Syaoran's brigade, putting him in the third or fourth wave where he was safer. But now they were at Nagato Pass, and Kurogane needed every fighter he could get.
Nagato Pass was a famed battlefield before Kurogane had ever stepped foot on it. It was where Fei Wang had his first major victory when he landed on these shores. And millennia before that, it was a showdown by the gods during the Great Enlightenment that carved the mountains and the perfectly circular hole that ran through them creating the pass.
Kurogane had held his army back for weeks, devising the perfect strategy to take on the automatons that nearly filled the pass. His solution had been found by one of his officers who spotted a path nearby villagers made that shot diagonally into Nagato Pass. His battle strategy, like all his strategies, was simple: Hit them with the main forces, then hit them again with a surprise second wave charging down from the path.
Terror of sending Syaoran into battle warred with the knowledge that Syaoran was capable, and should have the opportunity to prove himself and gain honour. He comprised by having Syaoran lead the second wave. There was a knot of worry in his stomach which seemed to always be there whenever Syaoran was out of sight, but he had a battle to win.
He knew Syaoran's brigade had succeeded when the enemy's front line was called back to reinforce the middle, giving Kurogane the advantage he needed to rip down the middle of Fei Wang's forces. There was no hope for the worshippers of Clow, and Kurogane ordered camp to be made on the other side, the ocean side, of Nagato Pass.
Kurogane made his rounds as his army went through the chores of victory, tallying the dead, sorting the automatons for recycling. As he went, he kept his eyes peeled for Syaoran, wanting to see him excited by their triumph.
As he was leaving the medical tent, he saw Kusanagi's troops approaching, leaving dust and a stream of black banners in their wake. Kurogane approached them.
“Excellency.” Kusanagi bowed.
“Enough of that.” Kurogane's father's title had been lost when Fei Ling sliced off his head, and regained by the edge of Kurogane's sword. It meant a lot, just not to Kurogane.
Kusanagi stood, but still did not meet Kurogane's eyes. He searched the faces of his subordinates, all turned away in more than just respect. “What happened?”
“Excellency.” Kusanagi stayed professional when the troops were around, but slackened the respect when he and Kurogane went drinking on leave. “Your plan succeeded well. We did manage to break the bulk of Fei Wang's forces. However...”
Behind Kusanagi's troops, Kurogane could see Syaoran's soldiers. No sign of the other lieutenant. “Tell me.”
“It appears Fei Wang planned to cover his weak spot. There was a small company at the top of the hills, patrolling the narrow path. My unit made it through intact. The second wave wasn't so lucky.”
Kurogane stopped searching the crowd and pinned his sights on Kusanagi. “Where is Syaoran?”
Kusanagi made a gesture to the company behind him. The formation rippled apart as two soldiers carrying a stretcher came through.
At once, Kurogane was relieved. The dead were hauled in a wagon behind the company, while the wounded were carried. It may be that Syaoran could never make war again, but he was alive, alive.
Kurogane stepped forward, past Kusanagi. He froze when the stretcher was lowered to him. It was Syaoran. The steel and ceramic that made the shell of his being had crumbled in at the head, taking one eye. His arm, too, appeared to be snapped off, little bits of pottery chipping at the edges where they had transformed back to raw material. Tomoyo's spell held on a little longer though, giving it Syaoran's face and unmoving fiery eyes.
“We had no idea he was an automaton,” one of the soldiers said. Numbly, Kurogane recognized a thin accusation under the tone. Did their general know that an automaton was leading his men?
“That's enough,” Kusanagi snapped.
“No.” Kurogane croaked. His fingers trailed down the side of Syaoran's face that still appeared human. It was cold. “No.”
Kusanagi laid a hand on Kurogane's shoulder. “Kurogane, I'm sorry.”
That felt cold, too.
With Kurogane incapacitated, Kusanagi assumed control. “Take the wounded and dead to the medical tent,” he ordered. “The automatons go in the pile. Once you've finished that, report to my tent for further instructions.”
Silently, the soldiers, including Syaoran's old unit, dispersed. Kusanagi flicked his hand and the soldiers carrying Syaoran's crumpled body left too. Kurogane watched them go, realizing at the last moment their destination.
“No!” he stopped them near the pile of automaton bodies, empty shells that would be sent back to the factory and made into another round of soldiers. “He doesn't go there.”
“Should we bring him to the medical tent, sir?” One soldier asked nervously. Kurogane barely recognized her as one of Syaoran's own, a survivor of a burned village that Syaoran had picked up.
Kurogane hesitated. He knew the surviving men would see it as an insult to have an automaton take up a bed in the medical tent. It was blasphemous, dishonourable and unnatural to hold an automaton's life as the same value as a human's.
“Take him to my tent,” Kurogane said. “You can lay him on my bed.”
Kurogane went through the rest of his post-battle routine, quite aware of the empty spot when he called his officers' meeting. The numbers all added up quite nicely. Acceptable losses of troops, weapons, horses.
“And automatons?” Kurogane asked.
A silence lapped. “Eight thousand, give or take a few,” Seishirou responded.
At the end, Kusanagi was the last to leave. He approached Kurogane who hadn't moved from his place at the head of the circle. “You promised to stay with us,” he said.
“I'm still here.”
“Are you?” Kusanagi looked to where a curtain drew the tent in half, separating Kurogane's personal space from work. Beyond it, Syaoran was laid out in various pieces.
Kurogane braced himself on his knuckles as he stood, putting him almost to Kusanagi's height. “I made a promise.”
Kusanagi shook his head. “You made a promise to more than just Amaterasu. Remember that.”
He left. Kurogane watched as a servant began cleaning up after the meeting, before ducking behind the curtain.
They had placed him on a futon. His cape had been unfurled and wrapped around him, forcing all the pieces tight together. Kurogane lifted part of it, half expecting to see Syaoran there, awake, confused as to how he went from a battlefield to a superior's tent.
Only half of Syaoran's fiery gaze met him.
“I can fix him, if you'd like.”
Tomoyo had appeared in Kurogane's room enough times not to startle him anymore. He turned to her, slowly bending his aching joints into prostration proper for a goddess.
“Rise,” Tomoyo said for the first time.
He did. Little sun penetrated the fabric of the tent, giving it an eerie darkness. Above that, Tomoyo glowed, a beautiful flame that could never be extinguished, no matter how many humans died for her cause.
Tomoyo glided past him, to his bed. The urge to pull her away was suppressed into mere flexing of his arm muscles. Tomoyo did as she wanted. Kurogane did as she wanted. That's how it had always been between them, ever since she saved him from Fei Wang's child farm and gave him his father's sword. Even if Kurogane had a weapon capable of fighting the gods, he could never touch her.
She studied what was left of Syaoran. Her eyes closed and her head dipped.
“Even gods pray?”
“Even a god cannot control everything,” she said, her eyes still closed. “I pray my brothers and sisters who meet him on his next journey treat him better than I have.”
“His soul...”
Tomoyo lifted her head, though she kept her gaze on Syaoran. “The life we give these children of earth is not a pure soul. It's too difficult to keep the essence of a human in an automaton's body, and it takes too many automatons to raise an army. So we break a soul into pieces, giving an automaton movement and thought, but no intelligence or feeling.”
Kurogane came to stand next to her. “The life Syaoran had was greater than that.”
“Because I gave him a whole soul,” Tomoyo said. “At great personal cost to myself.”
“Why do that?”
“The human who originally possessed this soul was very devout before death. When he died, he reminded me of you. And I thought...” Tomoyo laid a gentle hand against his left arm. Even when she visited him bloodied and one-armed in the medic's tent she had never touched him. “If you were to die, I would do the same thing.”
“Don't.” Kurogane stepped back. Tomoyo's hand dropped. “Humans were made to die. The modern world thought they could fix that, and their own machines rose up against them. Once something so precious has been taken away, it can't be returned. That is what it means to live a human life. And that's what I want to live.”
“So live it then.” Tomoyo again covered Syaoran with the cape. “And know that suffering is a part of human life.”
It wasn't Kurogane's first bought with suffering, just like the final assault on the Nagato Pier wasn't his first battle. It had been in him for some time, the fury of the march, the roar of battle. The satisfaction of a total victory, finally.
But victory didn't feel as whole the way it had in his dreams, watching the last of Fei Wang's troops sail away, or Amaterasu, in happy tears as he'd never seen her, crowning her generals. Suffering had edged away his heart, and he carried it through life as it slowly crumpled.
So at the victory banquet, which should have signalled a time of peace, but Amaterasu casually talked about casting into the ocean and taking Fei Wang at his home – Kurogane realized there would never be peace. Not with Amaterasu or Tomoyo. Not for someone like him.
There was only one way to protect what was left of himself.
He took provisions and left his armour. His sword, he could never part with. Syaoran had been transported along with Kurogane's personal effects, handled carefully so that he did not fall apart any more. Kurogane studied him. He was too big for Kurogane to carry, laid out neatly in a wooden box. So carefully, Kurogane tucked his knees to his chest, pinned both his arms beside him. He wrapped him in his red cape and tied that around his front, the way a mother carried her child. He ordered his horse to be readied, and the soldiers on duty, seeing him without armour or humour, said nothing.
The morning after the victory that saved Japan, Kurogane rode out with the rising sun to his back.
~~~
“I'm sorry,” Fai said. “I had no idea.” His face was wiped of its usual smirk, the corners of his mouth having eased downwards as Kurogane told his history. Kurogane hated this look, too. He much preferred Fai with the gentle smile he wore when he thought Kurogane wasn't watching him watch him.
“Now you know what led me here.” “Here” meant more than the fire pit where they sat, or the cabin they were in, or the valley created by a shattered god.
Kurogane let the silence linger, as it should when talking about the dead. Finally, he refilled Fai's cup – tea this time. Sake had no place when remembering. “And you?”
Fai hugged a knee to his chest, the toes of his other leg burrowing under the warmth of Kurogane's outstretched thigh.“I left home because I was broken. I was looking for someone to fix me.”
“Who did?” Because he's whole now – that much is obvious. But there are obvious fractures where the pieces that make up Fai meet, opening minutely as he speaks of his past.
Fai perched his head on his bent knee, regarding Kurogane lightly. “I did. You'll never meet an engineer – or even a god for that matter – who knows your mechanics as well as you. You have to fix you.”
Kurogane turned away from him, pretending to be busy with keeping the fire alive while he thought about this. “It's not easy,” he said, honestly.
“I never said it was,” Fai laughed, and giggled some more when he saw Kurogane's sharp frown. “And if you ever feel like you might drown in the flood, that's when you find someone to hold on to. Just until that feeling passes.”
Kurogane reflected on that quietly. Dragging Syaoran's body across the country had slowly suffocated what was left of the flames in his heart. It never occurred to him that sharing that weight, to give his fire a chance to breathe.
“I'll make dinner tonight.” Fai used Kurogane's shoulder as a balance to standing, giving it a squeeze.
Kurogane retreated to the porch while Fai busied himself inside. Stars scattered over a purple smudge, thousands of tiny fires lighting the black sky. The lake reflected all this, making the cabin seem like it was adrift through the galaxy.
Fai called him inside, and they ate with little conversation. Part of this was Kurogane's fault – he devoured everything in his bowl, feeding a hunger he hadn't felt in a long time.
After cleaning up, Fai sat him down at the fire again.
“I should tell you my story.” Fai hesitated. “Tomoyo sent me.”
Kurogane stretched out. This time, he was lounging on the floor while Fai sat and fidgeted. “I figured that much. It's no secret what Tomoyo and Amaterasu want from me.” The lit fire reflected an ocean in Fai's eyes. “Or the lengths they're willing to go to accomplish that.”
“Yes. None of their warriors were doing the trick, and Tomoyo doubted Amaterasu could be more persuasive.”
“Amaterasu has always been the kinder one. She only brought out Tomoyo when I wouldn't listen.”
“Which I'm guessing was every time Amaterasu gave you an order?”
“That only happened twice, actually.” Kurogane propped his head up on his mechanical hand and squinted at Fai. “You don't seem very pious to me. What'd Tomoyo promise you?”
“Death.”
Kurogane nodded. “Who's death?” It must be someone very high up.
Fai shook his head and laughed hollowly. “My first day here, I gave you the story of the Second Enlightenment.”
“You make it sound like that boat ride was years ago.” Although Kurogane does have some trouble imagining what a life without Fai in it.
“There was a lot I left out. I never told you how technology helped.” He said that word, that single bit of profanity, like it was nothing. “When the gods took machines away from us, we lost so much knowledge. Famine and disease weren't as deadly back then as they are now.”
Kurogane slapped his hand down as he bolted upright. “How could you possibly know that?”
“Because I was there.”
“No.”
Fai smiled sadly. “I was there two thousand years ago when AI rose up and tried to conquer us the way we conquered every other bit of life on this planet. And now the gods have conquered us, and we have no means to fight against them. I suppose the machines won something in the end.”
Kurogane could only stare. “That's impossible. You're –”
“Too young to be two thousand years old?” Fai raised an eyebrow. “Technically, I'm two thousand three hundred and seventy-two. This year.”
Kurogane shook his head in incredulity. Although, he had regained his arm. Syaoran had been put into a new body. It would be nothing for a god to keep a human alive for so long. “What did you do to earn a god's blessing that powerful?”
“Like you said before, Kuro, a god's gift is both a blessing and a curse. I was one of the first who converted when the machines revolted. I knew a hopeless situation when I saw it. Still do.” And here Fai gave Kurogane's knee a bump with his own. “I figured it was best to be on the winning side.
“Make no mistake – I asked for it. When you're so young and there's still so much of the world to see, so much more of life to experience, you feel like you could go on forever and not touch it all. The god who granted me extended life probably saw exactly how fool-hardy I was. He didn't warn me though.”
“Gods only teach,” Kurogane said, “by creating experience.”
“Exactly. It might be that I've become a legend up there, wherever the gods are, because it was Tomoyo who approached me with an offer. I've long since stopped praying for a gift I know I'll never get. Tomoyo changed everything.”
As she did for me. Kurogane shook his head. “This is madness. What are her terms?”
It was one of those rare moments when Fai looked absolutely serious. “You leave. I become mortal again.”
Kurogane gritted his teeth. “This is just another reason to stay.”
“Not from my perspective. I've been carrying this burden with me, hopeless it would ever go away.” Fai moved closer, appealing, until his face filled Kurogane's vision. “You've been here how long? The grass still hasn't grown over Syaoran's grave! You're not immortal, Kuro. You're no god. You have only so much of your beautiful life left. Don't waste it here.”
They were too close, and Fai's words cut like a weapon, cut it didn't hurt the way it should. His heart was charged like a battle, and his fingers lingered for something. “If you're hurting so bad, then you should lean on someone,” Kurogane, quoted back at him, a scrabbled reprisal.
“I am.” Fai kissed Kurogane.
When Kurogane didn't pull away, he lingered there, eyelashes softly brushing Kurogane's closed eyes. “You've made these last days so much sweeter.”
Kurogane refused to cry. “I can't leave,” he whispered against Fai's mouth. “I can't leave Syaoran.”
“I'll stay with him. Kurogane, you still have so much life left. Don't waste it on your sorrows.”
~~~~
Kurogane woke first. His dream of wandering through cloudy mountains abruptly ended when he jolted awake. Miraculously, he hadn't disturbed Fai, who remained sleeping soundly beside him.
The cabin was dark, but Kurogane had lived here long enough to guide himself to the door which he eased open. The dim rays of the sun rising between the mountains spilt grey over the quiet lake. The distant buzzing of cicadas was giving way to the chirps of birds, ready for a new day. Kurogane watched it all; the trees moving their branches to the wind, the small ripples stretching themselves until they were lost in the gentle movements of the lake. He walked away from the scene, leaving the door open to let in the light.
His bag, the sturdy rucksack he had pilfered when he deserted the army, was already packed, though Kurogane didn't remember doing it. It was filled almost all the way with the food he and Fai had preserved, flasks of water, and other travel necessities. Just enough room had been left at the top.
Kurogane moved aside a loose floorboard that was as far from the door as possible in the small cabin. The recess it concealed had been carefully lined with animal skin to form a waterproof barrier in the event of a leak. From it the took the box where he stored Amaterasu's orders and the emergency sake. The orders went in his rucksack. The sake, he placed in the cupboard to bolster the dwindling supply.
Fai was still asleep, or at least pretending to be. He was curled on his side around the shape where Kurogane had been laying moments before. Kurogane followed a strand of golden hair that flared where it met his ear. His jaw was slack from sleep, softening his face. Kurogane never did manage to land a blow.
He kissed Fai's cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered. Fai's eyelids fluttered, but remained shut.
Kurogane strapped his sword to his side. He hefted his bag onto his shoulders. Not too heavy. That was good. He had a long journey ahead.
By the time he had navigated the boat to the gate, the sun had rose from behind the eastern mountains to fully illuminate Mt. Sakura. He tied the boat, feeling a little bad about having taken it, but reassured himself that a two thousand year-old being could at least swim. Probably.
At the gate, Kurogane looked back, at the cabin floating tranquilly on the lake, at the mountains where Syaoran slept.
“Take care of him,” Kurogane said.
He left. )
~the end.
Thank you for reading! How did I do?
Please score my fic according to these guidelines:
1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10)
2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (1-10)
3. How well did this fic fit their team’s theme? (1-10)
4. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
5. Was the fic tagged correctly (Yes or No)
Remember that you must provide some form of identification (a link to a blog or profile on another site will suffice) for your vote to be counted!
no subject
(Anonymous) 2018-09-06 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)2. 10
3. 10
This went places I didn't expect. I was initially wondering where machines would fit in, but I totally forgot about that (until THAT... happened ;u;) because the world felt compelling...
4. 10
Wonderful, bittersweet ending... thank you for writing. :)
5. Yup.
http://nedoch.tumblr.com/
no subject
Thanks for voting!
no subject
2. 9
3. 9
4. 9
5. Yes
This was a really interesting take on the team's theme, I never really knew what I was expecting while reading and that was a really nice feeling. The interactions were just spot-on, they felt really genuine and organic, the natural flow of their relationship worked wonderfully. While the ending was bittersweet (more bitter than sweet), it made the most sense to me from both Kurogane and Fai's characterization and the circumstances of the situation. It left me sad, but fulfilled by the conclusion of the story as well. Great job!!
no subject
I do like bittersweet endings, but even I found this one a little too sad. That's why I left it open-ended, so the reader could decide what happened later. Maybe after Kurogane did whatever he needed to do, he came back to the lake and Fai and they lived out the rest of their lives in (relative) peace?
Thanks for voting!
THANKS!!!
And a huge thank you to my beta brightisthedawn!!! You helped me out so much in editing and flushing out ideas!! *3* Check her out on tumblr if you like heartbreaking (and bonebreaking) fic!!!!!!!
no subject
(Anonymous) 2018-09-16 01:35 pm (UTC)(link)2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (1-10) 10
3. How well did this fic fit their team’s theme? (1-10) 10
4. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10) 10
5. Was the fic tagged correctly (Yes or No) yes
tumbledrylemur.tumblr.com
no subject
vote
(Anonymous) 2018-09-23 12:21 am (UTC)(link)9
7
10
yes
I have to say I didn't enjoy Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring when i watched it. I guess I'm one of those people who find such subtle movies difficult to fully enjoy but your story was such a beautiful read! I was a little confused though; Is Fai an automaton or just a human granted immortality by becoming a machine? I also felt this story fell more under the gods theme than machines.
Great story regardless!
Lemazayahaza@tumblr
Re: vote
My idea was that Fai became an immortal human, but I also like your idea that he was turned into a automaton! It would definitely put an interesting twist on things!
Thanks again for voting and for your comments! I really appreciate them!
no subject
2.10 - I got the impression that both of them needed a fist to the face!
3. 10 - If I could I would give you 20 because there was Gods and Machines! Love it!
4. 10
5. Yes
no subject
Thank you so much for voting and commenting!!
no subject
no subject
2. 9
3. 8
4. 9
5. Yes
I enjoyed the story though I did get confused a few times. Maybe a bit more world building would help? I was impressed that you actually managed to incorporate both themes, too. However, I felt that the machine part suffered some oomph because of it. Overall, great job. It was quite a ride.
no subject
By more world-building do you maybe mean that the environment (landscape, mood, how the characters fit into the world) needed to be described more? That's definitely something I felt was lacking and something I need to work on.
Thanks for your comments and for voting!!!
no subject
2. 8
3. 8
4. 7
Characterizations and prompt were pretty solid as well as your handling of the theme.
I did overall enjoy your fic, your interactions between Kurogane and Fai were truly enjoyable but I did feel like in general the world could have been explained more. I get the impression you created a very interesting world but I as a reader felt a little lost at times as to how things worked in this world. Interesting ideas were presented but I did find my self lost as to what it all meant.
There is certainly great potential if you ever wanted to expand upon the foundations you set in this fic for a follow up fic.