[TEAM GODS] (MOKITA) Moment by Moment

[xfourleafcloverx]

Title: Moment by Moment
Prompt: Mokita (Kivila): The truth everyone knows but agrees not to talk about.
Rating: M
Tags: alternate universe; nudity; bit of fluff; angst; super mild cursing; lots of lies; not suitable for newbies/Nick
Posted  AO3. Hope you enjoy it!

Read it Here
~the end.


Thank you for reading! How did I do?
Please score my fic according to these guidelines:
1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10)
2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (1-10)
3. How well did this fic fit their team’s theme? (1-10)
4. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
5. Was the fic tagged correctly (Yes or No)

Remember that you must provide some form of identification (a link to a blog or profile on another site will suffice) for your vote to be counted!

Comments

Ans

[(Anonymous)]

1- 10
2- 10
3- 10
4- 10
5- Yes

I love it!

Re: Ans

[xfourleafcloverx]

Thank you so much for your vote! I really appreciate it, but you do have to provide a link to one of your profiles to be counted.

Either way, I'm glad you enjoyed it so much :D

Re: Ans

[(Anonymous)]

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirai737

Re: Ans

[xfourleafcloverx]

Thanks again!

Great Job

[miyakodea]

1. 9
I quite liked how you portrayed Fai and Kurogane. You had a lot of other characters thrown in there and I thought you managed them all pretty well too.

2. 10
It was a very clever way to cover the prompt. You even managed multiple truths that are not discussed.

3. 8
Again, quite a clever way to incorporate gods theme. I liked how you included a variety of references. It felt like you could embellish it a bit more though.

4. 8
First, I just want to point out one error. You wrote "could" instead of 'cold' in one place. Other than that I really enjoyed the story. It was nice that you actually incorporated other characters and seemed to put some effort into world building. The story just felt a bit rushed and the ending was rather abrupt.

5. Yes

Overall, I did really like the story. I realize that you wrote it for a competition so you were under time and content constraints. If you are so inclined to write it, I would actually be interested in an extended multi-chapter story revolving around the characters in this world (prequel/sequel).

Re: Great Job

[xfourleafcloverx]

Hi! Thank you so much for your vote and your feedback! I honestly want to do more with this story, so I might lengthen it after the Olympics is over.

I hope you seek it out in the future :)

vote

[(Anonymous)]

7
8
9
7

Yes

Very interesting take on the prompt. I did feel that especially Kamui's characterization was a little off. But kudos on incorporating so many characters in such a short time!

Lemazayahaza@tumblr

[travellinghobbit]

1. 10
2. 8
3. 10
4. 10 - Please write moore! I loved the premisse.
5. Yes

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/thetravellinghobbit

[flowerspeaks]

1. 7
2. 8
3. 8
4. 7
yes

Overall this was a very fun fic- very entertaining! I loved the whole premise and it was just delightful to read.
I do feel that some parts felt more rushed and that could have been more fleshed out for pacing/clarification sakes. I did find myself a bit lost/confused at part and had to reread to make sure I understood what was happening.
I did though enjoy the character interactions you set up, it was very entertaining.