When I got to Hokuto I decided, "characterization is a ten no matter what happens in the rest of the fic". I recognized Tomoyo just from a half-sentence about big dewy eyes hiding mischief in the sparkle. Characters who don't even visibly appear in the story are recognizable. And Kurogane and Fai are so perfectly THEM. Kurogane is hyper-protective and quick with her game face and roughly affectionate. Fai is scarred and warm of heart and good at facades. And beyond a few tidbits thrown out there quite smoothly you worked it all in so naturally. Didn't spell it out for the audience; just let them "get it" on their own.
Also excuse me. Paramedic and bodyguard and PEDIATRIC NURSE to showcase how their nurturing personalities translate into Earth careers. My heart. I can't.
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? (10)
You rule 63'd ALL the EVERYTHING. I'm deducting 0.01 points out of unreasonable disappointment that you didn't rule 63 a tuxedo mocha into a wedding gown mocha, but that still rounds up to a perfect 10.
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (10)
I had to stop and wheeze after reading Hokuto's note. Oh my God, Kurogane and Fai's FACES. I can see them so clearly in my mind and I just...I can't. I also love how real Fai's constant stream of thought-jumbles are, as well as the conflicting emotions. People are not definable or describable with single concepts, and neither should characters be. The details that bring such reality to the story delight my soul.
... *CRYING at the thought of Kurogane in Fai's yoga pants*
KUROPARENTS. MARRY ME AGAIN. (Apologies for increasing incoherency; it's been a long week of 12-hour work days, it's nearly 5:00am and I have yet to go to bed.) I don't know whether I want to draw Kurogane with her hair up in a bun more or an actual stork of the feather-and-beak kind wearing pumps. *giggle*
Oops. The whole kidnapping was so exciting that I forgot to comment on it as I read. Well...there's your feedback; it was gripping! XD I love that as much as it's startling for Fai to realize that she trusts Kurogane even in this WTF-is-my-life situation, I'm more impressed and in love with the fact that Kurogane recognized that she could trust Fai.
One hundred points to Kidnappers for getting Tomoyo the fuck out of the way so Kurogane and Fai could finally kiss. Ten points each to Hokuto and Tomoyo for excellent use of social media. All the points for all eternity to Kurogane for making Fai remember what it's like to be valuable and precious and good.
no subject
When I got to Hokuto I decided, "characterization is a ten no matter what happens in the rest of the fic". I recognized Tomoyo just from a half-sentence about big dewy eyes hiding mischief in the sparkle. Characters who don't even visibly appear in the story are recognizable. And Kurogane and Fai are so perfectly THEM. Kurogane is hyper-protective and quick with her game face and roughly affectionate. Fai is scarred and warm of heart and good at facades. And beyond a few tidbits thrown out there quite smoothly you worked it all in so naturally. Didn't spell it out for the audience; just let them "get it" on their own.
Also excuse me. Paramedic and bodyguard and PEDIATRIC NURSE to showcase how their nurturing personalities translate into Earth careers. My heart. I can't.
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? (10)
You rule 63'd ALL the EVERYTHING. I'm deducting 0.01 points out of unreasonable disappointment that you didn't rule 63 a tuxedo mocha into a wedding gown mocha, but that still rounds up to a perfect 10.
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (10)
I had to stop and wheeze after reading Hokuto's note. Oh my God, Kurogane and Fai's FACES. I can see them so clearly in my mind and I just...I can't. I also love how real Fai's constant stream of thought-jumbles are, as well as the conflicting emotions. People are not definable or describable with single concepts, and neither should characters be. The details that bring such reality to the story delight my soul.
... *CRYING at the thought of Kurogane in Fai's yoga pants*
KUROPARENTS. MARRY ME AGAIN. (Apologies for increasing incoherency; it's been a long week of 12-hour work days, it's nearly 5:00am and I have yet to go to bed.) I don't know whether I want to draw Kurogane with her hair up in a bun more or an actual stork of the feather-and-beak kind wearing pumps. *giggle*
Oops. The whole kidnapping was so exciting that I forgot to comment on it as I read. Well...there's your feedback; it was gripping! XD I love that as much as it's startling for Fai to realize that she trusts Kurogane even in this WTF-is-my-life situation, I'm more impressed and in love with the fact that Kurogane recognized that she could trust Fai.
One hundred points to Kidnappers for getting Tomoyo the fuck out of the way so Kurogane and Fai could finally kiss. Ten points each to Hokuto and Tomoyo for excellent use of social media. All the points for all eternity to Kurogane for making Fai remember what it's like to be valuable and precious and good.