cloverfield (
cloverfield) wrote in
kurofai2014-04-21 08:19 pm
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[Team Comedy] (Rule 63) Be My Dangerous Girl

Title: Be My Dangerous Girl
Prompt: Rule 63
Rating: M, for swearing and violence and sassmouth.
Warnings: Lots of instances of the word 'fuck', and quite a bit of violence in the middle; if you're triggered easily, please tread carefully.
Author's notes: GENDERSWAP IS SO FUN YOU GUYS, OMG. I HOPE YOU HAVE AS MUCH FUN READING THIS AS I DID WRITING IT. I've posted it over at my dw for convenience, but please vote here for the sake of the mods!
It all started -as the workweek usually does- on a Monday morning.
Thank you for reading! How did I do?
Please score my fic according to these guidelines:
1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10)
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? (1-10)
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
Remember that you must provide some form of identification (a link to a blog or profile on another site will suffice) for your vote to be counted!
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I have never seen such a perfect fem!Fai and fem!Kurogane. Honestly, they were great, they felt like authentic women, but still familiar, and omg the sexual tension!! This was perfect. I couldn't stop giggling the whole time I was reading this. Your writing was super funny and settled the mood very nicely. I loved Fai's inner monologues when she was going crazy at sexy-badass-Kuro-lady, I loved sexy-badass-Kuro-lady with her red dress and that cute blush and Tomoyo being a little devil and SASSY HOKUTO were like the cherry on top of the cake! Goddamit this was a very good start for this olympics.
1. How in-character was this fic? 10
Fai and Kurogane felt very authentic, Fai was snarky, sweet but still had that insecurity Fai always has. Kurogane was arrogant (by the end of the fighting it was like she was showing off, how badass can she be?), grumpy, but tender and adorably shy. And I loved male Hokuto and male Tomoyo.
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 10
You made me like the genderbent characters and I got inside the story, even though genderbending was never really my cup of tea. Usually when I read this kind of fics (for whatever fandom) I always feel like I'm watching new characters, who have the name of the real characters, but feel foreign, or OOC. But I didn't feel this way when I read this fic at all. It was Fai and Kurogane, but as if they had been born women and had always been and I had always read them as such. So I think it was very well handled. As for the comedy part, totally great too!
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 10
First fic I read and I'm giving it all 10's. That just shows how much I liked it. :D
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Ahahaha, I'm so happy you liked it! I had an amazing time writing this fic, seriously, and fem!Fai basically ruled my world for the three weeks and a bit it took me to write this. I must admit, I was channelling my inner customer-service-snark from my past life as a shop jockey there, and sassy Hokuto may or may not have a good dash of a close friend of mine, who upon betareading this declared that Hokuto was him and he was Hokuto. XD And sexy-badass-Kuro-lady is my favourite, oh yes. How could I not put her in a red dress and have her kick arse? XD
1: I'm really happy I pulled off the characterisation. It's tricky in AUs, because they haven't had the same experiences and thus aren't the same characters, but they are the same characters, so I'm happy I managed to pull that off for you to find them believeable :D
2: Genderbending is fun! But as this was my first time writing it, I was worried how I might do with it- but it was definitely worth trying and I'm pleased that I managed to pull it off. That you felt like they were always women and you had always read them as such was such a big compliment for me- thank you! And I'm so relieved I could make it funny! ^^;;
3: I'm so, so happy you enjoyed this so much. I had a blast writing it, so it gives me the :DDDDs that you had a blast reading it. Thanks so much for reading and voting!
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(Anonymous) 2014-04-22 07:09 pm (UTC)(link)1. How in-character was this fic? 7.5
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 9
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 9.5
Thank you!
invidira.tumblr.com
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Thanks so much for reading and voting, and enjoy the rest of the olympics!
HOLY CRAP
(Anonymous) 2014-04-23 06:20 am (UTC)(link)I absolutely love how you transposed Kurogane and Fai's personalities into this AU and still allowed them to come into their own as new characters. The dialogue was fantastic and natural, and your writing style really helped develop their personalities -- Fai's especially! -- and made the entire story that much more fun to read.
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 10!
Very well. Like to infinity and beyond well.
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 10!
A helluva lot. It was a fantastic ride from start to end, and I was hooked and had sweet dreams of lesbians going out of dates and riding motorcycles. This is the good life.
Thank you so much for writing this!
[Oh yeah, this is farfigneutroblaster.tumblr.com.]
Re: HOLY CRAP
1. Ahaha, thank you! I'm so happy my characterisation came off strongly in this fic, and that my dialogue worked well. (fact: I read every single line of dialogue out loud to myself to make sure it actually sounds like people talking, because I'm a weirdo. XD) fem!Fai basically took over and demanded this fic and what else could I do but let her have it? XD
2. Thank you so much! This is my first time writing genderswap, so I'm pleased as punch that it's going down so well :D I'll have to do it more often! (I may have already started the sequel.
It may be nothing but porn. *cough*)3. I feel like all I can say is thank you here, because you've enjoyed it so much and I'm so happy I could write something like this in this fandom :D And everybody should have sweet dreams of lesbians going out on dates and riding motorcycles, fact.
Thank YOU so much for reading, and for voting! I hope you have fun reading all the other wonderful fics that are going to be coming up in the next few days! :D
(thanks for the) lovable lesbian ladies lustily longing (for each other)
1. How in-character was this fic? 8
Their interactions are just great, I love their "OMG she's super hawt i can't talk to her" type awkwardness but also how well you showed that they're seriously perfect for each other in a comedic piece. I think I just have Fai and angst way too intertwined in my head. It's probably just me but it kinda doesn't compute when life isn't actively trying to get him. I would have liked some dark humor to round out their characterization, but I'm guessing that it might have seemed like you were trying to steal the other team's theme. (no cheating here, I know) But they're exactly what I would imagine them to be in a wonderful genderswapped angst-less world!
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 10
I enjoyed how you went above and beyond the call of duty in genderswapping everyone! :D Hokuto & Tomoyo are both great sassy gay friends and Fai & Kuro are the most adorable/dorky/hot lesbians ever. I think you worked the genderswapping part really well, you made Fai and Kurogane feminine in both subtle and significantly less subtle ways, without overdoing it.
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 9
" Was it really appropriate to go propositioning the barely-legal boytoy for a booty call in front of his bodyguard? ...aaand now I’m thinking in alliterative terms. Fuckin’ A. "
I loved the at times snarky at times adorkable but always hilarious tone of this piece and Kurogane & Fai's super cute relationship building! This is an awesome story and I'll definitely be coming back to it whenever I need a some fluff and comedy in my life. Thanks for the lovely work! :D
Re: (thanks for the) lovable lesbian ladies lustily longing (for each other)
1. Thank you! Ahahaha I love the concept of badass dorks, seriously. Kurogane can probably kill a man seven ways with her thumb and maim him another dozen with a teaspoon, but she's useless around pretty girls, and Fai has the issue of her libido fuselocking her brain whenever she's around a dangerous woman, and it was such fun to write them like that! Yeah, I admit an angst-free Fai is a little odd, but then, this is a comedy fic, and a dark past wouldn't really fit (especially since, when I angst, I ANGST) with the carefree action rom-com I was going for. :D
2. Ahaha, wow, thank you! I'm so happy I did well with this trope; I had such a great time writing this as my first attempt at genderswap- and of course the whole universe had to get swapped over too! I chucked a whole heap of Rule 63'd CLAMP cameos in there, it's just a shame I didn't get to flesh them out more but then the story would have been more like 50k than 30k. O__O I guess that's what sequels are for, hey? :D
3. Yes, I am so glad I could make this so enjoyable for you! Thank you so much! And I am totally working on a dorky sequel and Faren is demanding a spin-off about Hokuto and Tomoyo and Subaru, so I'll probably have to write that at some point XD Thanks for reading and voting, and enjoy the olympics!
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1. How in-character was this fic? 7.5
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 9
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 9
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Thanks for reading, and thanks for voting! I hope you enjoy the olympics! :D
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1. How in-character was this fic? 9
I couldn't help but notice the lack of banter and teasing nicknames here from Fai, but hell, I wouldn't tease Kurogane either; staring at her wondeful thighs seems to be a better way to kill time.
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 10
HOKUTO'S SASS OHMYGOD. Tomoyo and nail polish. I wish I got to see how a PMSing Kimihiro dealt with Doumeki. RULE 69 IS THE BEST.
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 9
Taking down bad guys with spoons after making out in the middle of gunfire. ACE.
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1. Thank you! That's true, I didn't put the nicknames in- though honestly, part of that was my scratching my head and going "if I'm not using honorifics, how do I nickname?" as english doesn't lend itself easily to that kind of name play. But I will happily use the excuse of Fai being starstruck by Kurogane's killer legs as a reasons why she didn't nickname her, lol XD
2. AHAHA HOKUTO IS KING OF EVERYTHING. I am so happy you liked this that much, and yes, Tomoyo is the kind of gorgeous boy that wears nailpolish and eyeshadow XD Ahahaha, if I wrote Doumeki into this fic, she would have totally stolen the show, lol. That always happens to me with Doumeki! XD
3. Thank you! Heh, of course we had to have a mid-battle make out, of course we did. XD I think the UST just got to them at that point!
Thanks for reading, and thanks for voting! I hope you enjoy the olympics!
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When I got to Hokuto I decided, "characterization is a ten no matter what happens in the rest of the fic". I recognized Tomoyo just from a half-sentence about big dewy eyes hiding mischief in the sparkle. Characters who don't even visibly appear in the story are recognizable. And Kurogane and Fai are so perfectly THEM. Kurogane is hyper-protective and quick with her game face and roughly affectionate. Fai is scarred and warm of heart and good at facades. And beyond a few tidbits thrown out there quite smoothly you worked it all in so naturally. Didn't spell it out for the audience; just let them "get it" on their own.
Also excuse me. Paramedic and bodyguard and PEDIATRIC NURSE to showcase how their nurturing personalities translate into Earth careers. My heart. I can't.
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? (10)
You rule 63'd ALL the EVERYTHING. I'm deducting 0.01 points out of unreasonable disappointment that you didn't rule 63 a tuxedo mocha into a wedding gown mocha, but that still rounds up to a perfect 10.
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (10)
I had to stop and wheeze after reading Hokuto's note. Oh my God, Kurogane and Fai's FACES. I can see them so clearly in my mind and I just...I can't. I also love how real Fai's constant stream of thought-jumbles are, as well as the conflicting emotions. People are not definable or describable with single concepts, and neither should characters be. The details that bring such reality to the story delight my soul.
... *CRYING at the thought of Kurogane in Fai's yoga pants*
KUROPARENTS. MARRY ME AGAIN. (Apologies for increasing incoherency; it's been a long week of 12-hour work days, it's nearly 5:00am and I have yet to go to bed.) I don't know whether I want to draw Kurogane with her hair up in a bun more or an actual stork of the feather-and-beak kind wearing pumps. *giggle*
Oops. The whole kidnapping was so exciting that I forgot to comment on it as I read. Well...there's your feedback; it was gripping! XD I love that as much as it's startling for Fai to realize that she trusts Kurogane even in this WTF-is-my-life situation, I'm more impressed and in love with the fact that Kurogane recognized that she could trust Fai.
One hundred points to Kidnappers for getting Tomoyo the fuck out of the way so Kurogane and Fai could finally kiss. Ten points each to Hokuto and Tomoyo for excellent use of social media. All the points for all eternity to Kurogane for making Fai remember what it's like to be valuable and precious and good.
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1. True fact: Hokuto totally stole the show. Faren has crowned him Crown Prince of Scene Stealing, and he totally and absolutely is. Also, I've been kinda in love with Hokuto since I read Tokyo Babylon, so of course I was going to leap at the chance to use her to be Fai's genderflipped Sassy Gay Friend (tm). Also, can I just say I'm stupidly thrilled that you spotted the cameos I threw in? Because CLAMP is a multiverse, of course everybody was going to show up for a good time, and I couldn't help myself- and I'm just pleased as punch that my characterisation worked for you, darling.
I'm happiest that I managed to make Fai and Kurogane still themselves, even if shining through another lens: Fai still has her masks and her snappy comebacks and her surprisingly soft heart for all she pretends she doesn't care about anything beyond the superficial; Kurogane still her prickly edges and her grumpiness and awkwardness at dealing with situations outside her expertise- but also her drive to protect, her need to know the ones she cares for are safe (and that she has a good shot at destroying the poor bastards that would make them otherwise). It means a lot to me that even in this AU I could bring that to bear for their characters, so I'm so happy you liked the way I portrayed that!
And of course I had to think of a fitting profession for them all; one can hardly right 'ninja bodyguard' on one's resume these days, after all. Pediatric nurse was a stroke of inspiration at the right time- because of course Rule63'd!Kuro-mama would still be lovely and kind with a core of pure steel and a caring nature that in no way lessens their sheer badassery, all of which in my experience nurses tend to be. And Doumeki the paramedic was shamelessly stolen as an idea from Faren, because it's too fitting a job description for someone who provides 'spiritual first aid' for those in their protection.
The fact that I got to make Rule63'd!Kuro-papa a bad ass lady ninja warrior ex-soldier with medals who can kick your arse from here to next week with any weapon you care to name was just the cherry on the cake ♥
2. AHAHAHA UNIVERSE OF RULE 63 XD I had such fun gender-bombing everyone, seriously XD
3. Kurogane is the best face-puller, it is a fact. I just love the idea of her slowly turning purple and Fai just being like 'whut' until she reads the note and gets it. Is there anything more awkward than finding out someone is trying to set you up? XD
Stream of consciousness is fun to write, and I am happy I managed to work all of Fai's internal conflict in there, if in a slightly more comedic vein; when it comes down to it, Fai will always be a bundle of neuroses and conflicting emotions and drive- at least until they accept themselves and their desires, and become more peaceful. (If not less mischievous!)
Hey, come on. Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same thing if you were in Fai's position! Though she regretted it in the end; some arses are just too perfect to even think about cladding them in stretchy, semi-sheer fabric! XDDDD
KUROPARENTS :DDDD I totally have to work them into the sequel at some point, because of course Fai would be totally starstruck by Kurogane's mother and completely in love with Kurogane's father within about five minutes of meeting them, and both parents would be like *shares look of mutual married-ness* "Yep, you're perfect, so when are you marrying our daughter?" while ignoring Kurogane's spluttering protests. Ahahaha, I'll marry you as many times as you like, darling! *chu*
I'm happy you liked the action! The whole time I was writing it, I was like "am I really doing this? Really?" and also battling my instincts against turning it into a weird Die Hard clone; but then, I always like my romantic comedies with a bit of action in the middle, so I really couldn't help myself! I'm pleased as the proverbial cat in a bucket of cream that you found it exciting and entertaining, too~
I firmly believe that, no matter the universe, no matter the circumstances, Fai and Kurogane will always have their respective moments of "I trust you and I believe in you". It may not always happen at the same time, and it may not always happen at the best time, but it will happen. I'm sure this is an unwritten law of the universe (or of shipping, at the very least). They just got lucky here having their "moment" sped-up by the dramatic situation they found themselves in. If Tomoyo hadn't been kidnapped and things had proceeded as vaguely normal, then it still would have happened sooner or later.
Yep, that was totally the kidnappers plan the whole time- get the brat out of the way so the ladies could finally make out. You caught me, Kitten; that's absolutely why I threw them in as a plot device! XD Pfft, Hokuto is probably the King of Pouting Selfies, and Tomoyo is too media-savvy to not understand the effective use of twitter XD
And as for Kurogane... well, she's a romantic at heart, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! ;D
tl;dr my rambling aside, I am so, so happy you enjoyed this, darling. It makes my day knowing you got such a kick out of it, and thank you so much for reading and voting. Enjoy the rest of the fic for the olympics, dear; there's so many fantastic fics this year!
*snugs and hugs*
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2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 10. Ladies everywhere. Kicking ass and taking names.
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 9
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2. ALL THE KICK ARSE LADIES :D Thank you!
3. I'm happy you liked it! Thanks for reading, and thanks for voting! :D
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2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 10
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 10
This was my favorite of them all! It's just so perfect. :D Thank you really much for writing!
*too shy to comment more*
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9 - 10 - 10
Also have my heart, I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS ♥
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1. How in-character was this fic? 7
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 7.5
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 10
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1. How in-character was this fic? 8
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 10
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 8.5
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1. How in-character was this fic? 8
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 10
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 10
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1. How in-character was this fic? 10
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 10
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 10
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dadmom was my favorite part. No wait, it was Tomoyo'smomdad. Wait, no, my favorite was all the imagery as Fai admired Kurogane. Very difficult to pick.no subject
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2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 9
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 9
I had a lot of fun reading this! I thought Kurogane's characterisation was really good. I enjoyed seeing everyone genderswapped! Also, bonus points for eye jokes~
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(Anonymous) 2014-05-17 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 10
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 10
This was just absolutely wonderful and I loved it.
elaseolvidah.tumblr.com
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Thanks so much for reading and voting! I'm all asdfghjkl that you liked it that much, seriously!
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8.5-10-10!
(I REALLY WANT MORE ADVENTURES OF KURO-AWESOME AND HER FAI)
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ahaha there will most likely be continued adventures of Kuro-awesome and Fai, by which we mean the porny sequel, because I am a terrible person and I like writing girls kissing girls :D
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Kurogane blinked, just once, her smile falling away- and then it was back and a thousand times dirtier, hot and triumphant and lighting her eyes up like the dawning sun.
FAI NEVER HAD A CHANCE CHLOE JUST SAYIN <.<
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee and i'm so happy i can vote because it is absolutely 10-10-10 for your lovely happy ladies in love! <333
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pfft, did anyone ever have a chance up against Kuro-lady? I THINK NOT XD
thank you thank you thank you!
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2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 10
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 10
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1. How in-character was this fic? 10
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 10
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 10
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I hope you feel better now, and that you had lots of fun reading all the fic while you recovered- and thanks so much for reading and voting!