[Team Dark] (the Eleventh Hour) Under Lock and Stone

[cloverfield]

Title: Under Lock and Stone
Prompt: The Eleventh Hour
Rating: M
Warnings: This fic contains strong violence, adult language, minor character death and dark themes. This fic may be triggering due to scenes that contain: claustrophobic implications, references to war, imprisonment, prisoners of war, execution, situational despair, and graphic injury. Please do not read this fic if you believe you may be triggered by any of the above; otherwise I am happy to discuss any themes before you read if you wish.

Read my fic @ AO3!

Thank you for reading! How did I do?
Please score my fic according to these guidelines:
1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10)
2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (1-10)
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)

Remember that you must provide some form of identification (a link to a blog or profile on another site will suffice) for your vote to be counted!

Comments

[peaceful_fury]

http://peaceful-fury.tumblr.com/

1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10)
8. Kurogane was in character but Fai got less time to shine through.

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (1-10)
8. You worked in the 11th hour with the guard rotations and the execution and the rush at the end.

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
9. The fic work well and I enjoyed reading it :D

[peaceful_fury]

Also you should post your drabble fill.

[cloverfield]

I still can't thank you enough for helping me write this - you're very good at being a sounding board, you know?

Thanks for voting, hun!

[tsubasafan]

1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10) 10 Kurogane was spot on and Fai being selfless and afraid and needing was perfect.
2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (1-10) 10 very stressful to read as it drew closer to the end, the whole fic was a representation of a countdown to a (happy?) end.
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10) 9 Ughh that cliffhanger. Such a love/hate relationship with those. I felt anxious reading this and hopeful. This also reminds me of works like the count of monte cristo.

[cloverfield]

Thank you so much!! I'm really glad you enjoyed reading this ♥

Yeah, that was a nasty cliffhanger (cliffjumper?), ahaha. But honestly, the only other option was dragging the fic out into something long and awkward, and I've never been good at endings. And I'm sorry I stressed you out reading it, but I am really glad you liked it - and the Count of Monte Cristo was a huge inspiration for me when I was writing!

Thanks for reading, and thank you for voting!

[notpotable]

1. How in-character was this fic?

10! Very nicely done~

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt?

10 again! Like the tolling of a dreadful bell, you never let the reader forget the prompt and you made it so hopeless and threatening. Hella Team Dark too, so well-executed.

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall?

8 - Gosh it was bleak and hopeless, I was fearful and anxious reading it even though it was such a quality fic. I'm sorry! ;_;

[cloverfield]

Oh gosh, thank you! I'm sorry you found it stressful and anxiety-inducing, but I'm glad (?) you thought it worked for the prompt. I know it wasn't the most fun fic to read, believe me - I was drained after finishing it - so I'm thankful you stuck with it even though it was hard. I think the next thing I'm going to write will be something silly and light-hearted, for my own sake if nothing else ^^;;

Thank you so much for reading and voting - I really appreciate it!

[notpotable]

Writing it must have been such an ordeal. Thank you for doing it!

[k_n]

Hiya! I left a long-ass comment on ao3 so here I will rate!

1. How in-character was this fic? 10
I thought everyone behaved in ways that made sense and also worked with their characterizations. Loved!

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? 10
I already mentioned this - but the way you tied in "the eleventh hour" in many ways was really clever!

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 8
I do think there were some parts where I wanted to fast forward slightly, but, overall, this was really excellently done. I almost wish that the alternate ending you mentioned (with K dead and F living) happened, the more that I consider it, but your ambiguous ending also worked. Thank you so much for working hard and sharing this!

[cloverfield]

Ahaha, thank you so much for commenting and voting - that's really awesome of you!

I agree that my pacing was a little off in some places, and if I had more time, I would have liked to have fine-comb it a bit more to tighten that up... but still, that's the challenge of writing for an event like the Olympics! :D I'm still relieved the ambiguous ending has been accepted, though I definitely would have liked to have written a coda or endpiece for it. Still, I really enjoyed trying something different with my writing, that's for sure!

Thank you so much for reading and for voting - it's so nice of you!

[miyakodea]

1. How in-character was this fic? 8.5
I would say that they were both pretty well in-character. However, Fai’s presence was a lot more limited so it was harder to get an accurate feeling on how in-character he was. It would be interesting to have a part two where it is from Fai’s POV (hint hint).

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? 10
You chose a really clever way to fill the prompt and to represent Team Dark. I really enjoyed how you actually tied in the 11th hour with the food/collection rotations.

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 10
I loved this story. You managed to pack so much into it despite needing to nix the sight element. The story kept me engaged the entire time. The ending was amazing. I would be hard pressed to claim that a bright happy ending would match the rest of the writing. I feel like it would have instead been more of a way to placate people who want a more solid ending. While normally I have issues with the dreaded cliffhanger, the way you ended just fit with the rest of the story.

Thank you for this stunning work.

[cloverfield]

Wow, thank you so much!

You're right in that Fai was a little less developed than Kurogane - and I do think you're right in that if Fai had had some scenes in his POV, it would have been easier to show that. Still for the sake of suspense, I had to go with Kurogane-POV only, ahaha. Maybe I will write a "in the future" drabble or follow-up at some point one day!

I'm happy you liked the way I worked the theme in, and even happier that it was still engaging for you without the element of sight. It was definitely an interesting exercise, that's for sure! I'm really glad you thought the ending worked - it was the part I worried the most about, but I'm relieved people are finding it fitting.

Thank you so much for reading and voting - I really appreciate it!

[sugoi_auriga]

1. How in-character was this fic? (9)
wasn't sure about fai but kurogane was perfect
2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (10)
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (10)

[cloverfield]

Thank you so much! Thank you for voting and thank you for reading :)

[xchan]

1. How in-character was this fic? 10
2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? 10
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 10

This fic was very hard to read but I loved it! Dark and angsty and the cliffhanger ending was perfect for it.

[cloverfield]

Wow! Thank you so much! It's nice to take a walk on the dark side every once in a while, isn't it? XD Still, I think I'll make my next fic fluffy and light, ahahaha!

[(Anonymous)]

10/10
10/10
10/10
archieveofourown.com/kittenintheskyy

[cloverfield]

WHOA! Thanks so much for reading and voting!

[haezofdaust]

1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10)
10

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (1-10)
10

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
10

sdflkjweoriulaksdknc omergard this fic had me at the edge of my proverbial seat the entire time I was reading it. The (literal?!) cliffhanger! The close calls! The allusions to Fai’s standing! This fic deserves all the best praises and much better comments - which I would aspire to leave once I recover from the plunge my heart has taken and get back to giving this a re-read! Really really loved this piece!

[cloverfield]

Thank you so much!! ;___; I'm so happy you liked it so much, gosh. I don't even know what to say!

Just take my gratitude and know I'm a very happy writer right now. Thank you so much for reading and voting!

[farenmaddox]

We're still a little sparse on votes, so I hope it is okay with all the writers to have a moderator jumping in to vote as well!

1. How in-character was this fic? (9)

Honestly, it was just about perfect, but I never got to see Fai's humour and ability to be gentle, so it just felt like a little something was missing. What was there was spot-on.

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (10)

I give you a top rating for your ability to make it dark, tense, dramatic, and still allow for the relationship between the two characters to blossom while fulfilling both the letter and spirit of the law.

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (9)

I would have liked to see just a handful of paragraphs to tell me that they bashed on the rocks, swam for their lives, bled and cried on cavernous riverbanks, and eventually washed up downstream and had one moment to agree to go look for the Nihongo army. Other than that, everything about this was perfect. I had no complaints about the pacing. It was building up to the climax at just the right tempo for me.

[cloverfield]

I honestly don't see any writers having problems with the mods voting - we've done it in years passed, so it should be fine :)

1. You're right in that Fai isn't as developed as Kurogane. I think part of this is because a) the fic is totally in Kuro-POV, and b) because there's the element of suspense, which means Fai's character isn't given as much development because Kurogane needs to be kept in the dark in some ways. Also, I couldn't exactly figure out how to make Fai as humorous in a dark situation, ahaha.

2. This was a hard fic to write [sweats] Like, seriously hard. It was so dark! I'm glad it worked though, but I think the next thing I write needs to be light and breezy, ahahah. I'm happy you thought it filled the prompt and theme!

3. AHAHAHA. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW CONFLICTED I AM ABOUT THE ENDING STILL. I would have liked to have gone into more detail, but I'm sorry to say the fic still would have ended unsatisfyingly - the extended ending features Fai trying to frantically heal a battered Kurogane in the depths of the forest (and possibly getting discovered by Nihon's forces). So cliffhanger it was, due to time and other such pressures. I'm super jazzed the pacing worked out though - pacing is a big worry for me, so I'm pleased as punch it worked.

Thanks for reading and voting and all of the excellent work you've done as mod to set this up, darling!