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kurofai2012-02-14 01:24 pm
sweetjerry) wrote in kurofai2012-02-14 01:24 pm
Entry tags:
/moonwalks in
Title: Black cat, white mage
Part: 18
Author: sweetjerry
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: lmfao au
Warnings: Angst, swearing, derp.
Summary: A lost princess. A mage running from his past. A crippled warrior doing his best to forget the man he used to be. A young man carrying a terrible curse. All of them are inevitably drawn into an adventure where love might save them... or doom them..
Notes: HERP DERP here's a new part written under the influence of little sleep and lots of soda. Cut quote from "She walks in beauty" by Lord Byron.
That night Kurogane had a dream, but it was more like a memory. Far too vivid, a reminder that something he’d tried to... well, not forget, but bury, still was very much alive inside him. Sometimes he felt as if his previous life was like a parasitic growth at the heart of his being, as if instead of an arm he now had this clawed appendage growing on the inside of his ribcage, clawing and tearing and squeezing every so often to make sure he didn’t forget.
It had been back during his early days as a Templar, and the scouting party lead by him had been cut off from the army for a week due to losing themselves in a rainstorm. Their rations had been running thin, and in their desperation they had taken the risk of raiding a small, simple building at the outskirts of a village.
At first, it had appeared to be empty, but the men soon found the only inhabitant, kneeling in front of a simple altar at the very heart of the building. Her hair was in ornate braids, her clothes were white as snow, and fresh flowers, still wet from the rain, were piled on the altar, spreading a scent that brought Kurogane in a sickening jolt right back to his childhood, to his mother’s soft chanting and serene face. Cymbidium, chrysanthemum, orchids – he could name them all, knew the story behind each one, the purpose of their positioning around the altar.
And in a flash it came back to him, his father’s story of how he’d come to meet his mother. The evil he’d encountered in men he’d thought were just and fair. Now, Kurogane trusted the men he was with to follow his orders, he knew they wouldn’t dare do otherwise. But what if he brought her back, as he should, since she’d seen them? What about when the other Templars saw her, understood what she was? A Nihon witch. They would treat an ordinary civilian woman captured fairly, and while she would be forced to work, she would be well fed and her virtue respected. The Templars had a very strict moral code concerning the treatment of prisoners, thank the gods. But it was possible that this code would fall apart completely in face of one of the demon women, the heretic priestesses that protected the land of Nihon with their unholy magic. He’d heard the talk, heard the preachers, knew how deep the hatred for the mystics of Nihon ran. What if...
The girl turned her eyes at him, dark brown, wide and terrified, like those of a hunted animal, and he knew he couldn’t kill her. Not an unarmed woman in cold blood, that wasn’t how he’d been taught. He was supposed to not think of her as human, he was supposed to think witch and hate her, but how could he?
It was a lie. And evil lie, and he wasn’t going to go along with it.
He ordered the men to take what food they could, and get the hell out of there and wait for him. Then he mixed some of the pain-stilling herb they all carried with them, enough of which would put you to sleep for several hours, into a cup of milk and coaxed the girl to drink it. She cried as she did so, thinking it poison, and he rasped out a few sentences in his mother’s language at her. You won’t die from this, just sleep. Give us a head start. Fair’s fair, huh?
Her eyes had widened even more, then, and she lifted her white little hands to grasp his, smiling through the tears still spilling down her cheeks. The spirits of Heaven and Earth has seen your actions, and you are blessed. Tomorrow you shall receive your reward, warrior.
Of course, that wasn’t how he’d interpreted it then. The Nihon language had many nuances, and he’d thought she’d meant, A new day shall bring you a reward, implying that his mercy would grant him his due in heaven. It wasn’t until now, reliving the memory once more, that he realized that she had meant it literally. Because the next day, he had received his reward.
They had been found, thank the gods, and brought back to where the army camped. They hadn’t been as lost as they’d thought, apparently. And when asked to recount the events of the last week, Kurogane had told the truth without flinching, refusing to be a liar. His men weren’t to be blamed, he repeated several times. It had been his decision to let her live.
For that, he was heavily reprimanded and punished with menial work, but that wasn’t the worst part. The truly horrible part had been being sent to the High Priest, who at the time constantly travelled with the army, that he could scry his soul and make sure that there was no corruption there. Not that Kurogane thought for a second that his soul, or his loyalty, was anything but flawless, but he didn’t welcome the intrusion of a stranger into his heart and his memories.
Nonetheless, he’d followed orders, knelt before the man where he sat on a simple stool, kissed the hem of his robe even as he’d protested faintly, wry amusement in his voice. I won’t see your eyes if you cast them down, he admonished gently.
Kurogane had looked up, meeting his gaze steadily. My eyes are here, my heart is here. You need to see neither to feel them, High Priest.
To his surprise, his rudeness earned him a soft laugh. True. But I like to see the person I am talking to. If you don’t mind, that is. His smile was genuine, open, warm, and only then did Kurogane realize how beautiful the man was. His heart performed a funny kind of flutter in his chest. He hadn’t talked to the High Priest before, had only seen him from afar, but the prospect of finally talking to him now hadn’t caused him any anxiety until this very moment.
His cheeks flushed in mortification. These were forbidden thoughts, unthinkable thoughts about someone like the High Priest, but now they were at the forefront of his mind. Driving them away from there was impossible, and only made him panic more. Because the High Priest could see what was in his heart, and his heart right now was trembling like a newly born butterfly under the gaze of the most beautiful man he’d ever seen. He had only just become a Templar, only just begun serving the gods as their warrior, and now it was all going to be taken from him.
The High Priest made a small, surprised sound, for a moment looking taken aback, and then his face once more softened into a gentle smile. He reached out, resting the flat of his hand along Kurogane’s jaw, as he sat sat frozen in shock and awe. Do not fear what’s in your heart, the High Priest said, his voice deep with amusement. The gods see it, and they do not condemn, so why should I? I am just a human, and so are you. What we are is what we are.
Kurogane couldn’t speak. When he’d been eleven, he’d developed a very childish but very real crush on the young man teaching the village children. He had been frightened, and confused, and had done the only thing he could think of. Going to the village priest, he’d told him that there had been talk among the village children, and was it true that a boy could be in love with another boy? The man had scowled, and demanded the names of those supposedly involved in such evil talk. You should never let tongues wag idly about sins, he said, because if it wasn’t true it made you twice the sinner.
So it’s a thing that sinners do? he’d asked, fighting the bile rising in his throat as terror clenched at his guts. A priest could see if you were a sinner, surely?
It is, and I don’t believe for a minute that anyone in this village would commit such an evil deed. The priest put his hand on his head, and Kurogane had to fight not to flinch. You’d better put it out of your mind. Now, who has been talking?
He’d claimed not to remember, and then ran away from the priest’s disapproving scowl, ran until he reached the forest and could hide. There he sobbed and trembled and wet himself in fear, and had to return home with shame burning on his cheeks and no answers for his concerned parents. He was a sinner, but he would never let them know. They deserved a better son.
Even after being out in the world, after learning more about life, after seeing there were different views about things like that, the initial terror still ran deep within him. He’d fought all of his life against it, and yet... yet here was the High Priest, son of the most aggressive Puritan that Kurogane had ever heard of, and while the High Priest was supposed to be as neutral as possible in these matters, he’d thought for sure...
But he didn’t condemn. He didn’t scold or sneer. He didn’t laugh at the big strong warrior who’d rather have another man in his bed than do what was right and proper with a woman. His hand was warm on Kurogane’s cheek, his eyes were full of compassion, and he told him that it didn’t matter. Not to him, and not to the gods.
For the first and last time in a long, long while, Kurogane had wept, and for the first and second to last time ever, he felt no shame at his tears.
~*~*~
He woke up with his eyes burning, and snarled a low, rough-edged curse as he fought his way upright, glad for the darkness of the dawn. Fai snatched his hand back from his arm, looking apologetic.
“I’m sorry, Kuro-jam. I thought you might be having a nightmare.”
It hadn’t been a nightmare, not as such, and Kurogane couldn’t imagine that he’d been tossing and turning all that much. He was loath to think what kind of expression on his face would’ve caused Fai to attempt to save him from his dreams by waking him up. “I’m fine. What the hell are you doing up? It’s still too dark to go anywhere, and I thought you said no one needed to guard as long as you had those damn magics around us.”
Fai was watching him again with that almost-not-there smile that he wore when he was trying his best to figure him out. “Well, I had a nightmare,” he said, his voice smooth and bell-clear, as if it had been quite a while since he’d woken up. So had he been terrified to go back to sleep? Kurogane couldn’t help wondering. His own dream hadn’t been a nightmare, but the very fact that he longed now to return to sleep, longed to sink back into that memory and once more have everything that he’d lost... that terrified him. It was dangerous foolishness, and he wasn’t going to let himself succumb to it.
“What were you dreaming?” Fai asked casually, as if that really was any of his business.
“What were you dreaming?” Kurogane countered. “That’s how this works, mage. You tell me yours, I tell you mine. You ain’t gonna get nothing for nothing.”
Fai blinked in surprise, and then laughed, bouncing forwards on the balls of his feet like he always did when he sat in that ridiculous crouch of his. His hand darted out, and Kurogane, who was leaning on his one good arm, couldn’t slap it away before slim fingers took the liberty of brushing a stray lock of hair from his face with disconcerting tenderness.
“You drive a very hard bargain, Kuro-candy,” he murmured.
Already with the memory of a warm hand on his cheek burning in his mind and on his skin, Kurogane scowled darkly. “You do that again and I’ll make sure I ain’t the only one with only one arm around here,” he warned. Fai tittered softly, completely unperturbed by this.
“Mm, you wouldn’t do that to me, Kuro-sweet. You like me too much.”
“Then tell me if you’re afraid to go to sleep ‘cause you’re scared of what you will dream, or scared that you’ll have to wake up again,” he retorted, and knew he’d gotten one past Fai’s defences when those eerily blue eyes widened a bit, the constant smile flickering just a bit before widening into a defensive grin.
“I see we are being Kuro-tart this morning, bordering on Kuro-sour,” he singsonged, jumping back onto his feet. “Anyway, I might as well prepare breakfast.” He turned and started rooting through their bags, and Kurogane glared at his back and wondered what the hell was happening between them, and if it was too late to stop it already. After a moment or so, Fai stilled, turning to angle a small, strange smile over his shoulder. “Oh, and I believe the answer is ‘both’. So I think you owe me one for later. Now, let’s wake the children up. The days are getting shorter, so we might as well start getting used to darkness.”
.
Part: 18
Author: sweetjerry
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: lmfao au
Warnings: Angst, swearing, derp.
Summary: A lost princess. A mage running from his past. A crippled warrior doing his best to forget the man he used to be. A young man carrying a terrible curse. All of them are inevitably drawn into an adventure where love might save them... or doom them..
Notes: HERP DERP here's a new part written under the influence of little sleep and lots of soda. Cut quote from "She walks in beauty" by Lord Byron.
That night Kurogane had a dream, but it was more like a memory. Far too vivid, a reminder that something he’d tried to... well, not forget, but bury, still was very much alive inside him. Sometimes he felt as if his previous life was like a parasitic growth at the heart of his being, as if instead of an arm he now had this clawed appendage growing on the inside of his ribcage, clawing and tearing and squeezing every so often to make sure he didn’t forget.
It had been back during his early days as a Templar, and the scouting party lead by him had been cut off from the army for a week due to losing themselves in a rainstorm. Their rations had been running thin, and in their desperation they had taken the risk of raiding a small, simple building at the outskirts of a village.
At first, it had appeared to be empty, but the men soon found the only inhabitant, kneeling in front of a simple altar at the very heart of the building. Her hair was in ornate braids, her clothes were white as snow, and fresh flowers, still wet from the rain, were piled on the altar, spreading a scent that brought Kurogane in a sickening jolt right back to his childhood, to his mother’s soft chanting and serene face. Cymbidium, chrysanthemum, orchids – he could name them all, knew the story behind each one, the purpose of their positioning around the altar.
And in a flash it came back to him, his father’s story of how he’d come to meet his mother. The evil he’d encountered in men he’d thought were just and fair. Now, Kurogane trusted the men he was with to follow his orders, he knew they wouldn’t dare do otherwise. But what if he brought her back, as he should, since she’d seen them? What about when the other Templars saw her, understood what she was? A Nihon witch. They would treat an ordinary civilian woman captured fairly, and while she would be forced to work, she would be well fed and her virtue respected. The Templars had a very strict moral code concerning the treatment of prisoners, thank the gods. But it was possible that this code would fall apart completely in face of one of the demon women, the heretic priestesses that protected the land of Nihon with their unholy magic. He’d heard the talk, heard the preachers, knew how deep the hatred for the mystics of Nihon ran. What if...
The girl turned her eyes at him, dark brown, wide and terrified, like those of a hunted animal, and he knew he couldn’t kill her. Not an unarmed woman in cold blood, that wasn’t how he’d been taught. He was supposed to not think of her as human, he was supposed to think witch and hate her, but how could he?
It was a lie. And evil lie, and he wasn’t going to go along with it.
He ordered the men to take what food they could, and get the hell out of there and wait for him. Then he mixed some of the pain-stilling herb they all carried with them, enough of which would put you to sleep for several hours, into a cup of milk and coaxed the girl to drink it. She cried as she did so, thinking it poison, and he rasped out a few sentences in his mother’s language at her. You won’t die from this, just sleep. Give us a head start. Fair’s fair, huh?
Her eyes had widened even more, then, and she lifted her white little hands to grasp his, smiling through the tears still spilling down her cheeks. The spirits of Heaven and Earth has seen your actions, and you are blessed. Tomorrow you shall receive your reward, warrior.
Of course, that wasn’t how he’d interpreted it then. The Nihon language had many nuances, and he’d thought she’d meant, A new day shall bring you a reward, implying that his mercy would grant him his due in heaven. It wasn’t until now, reliving the memory once more, that he realized that she had meant it literally. Because the next day, he had received his reward.
They had been found, thank the gods, and brought back to where the army camped. They hadn’t been as lost as they’d thought, apparently. And when asked to recount the events of the last week, Kurogane had told the truth without flinching, refusing to be a liar. His men weren’t to be blamed, he repeated several times. It had been his decision to let her live.
For that, he was heavily reprimanded and punished with menial work, but that wasn’t the worst part. The truly horrible part had been being sent to the High Priest, who at the time constantly travelled with the army, that he could scry his soul and make sure that there was no corruption there. Not that Kurogane thought for a second that his soul, or his loyalty, was anything but flawless, but he didn’t welcome the intrusion of a stranger into his heart and his memories.
Nonetheless, he’d followed orders, knelt before the man where he sat on a simple stool, kissed the hem of his robe even as he’d protested faintly, wry amusement in his voice. I won’t see your eyes if you cast them down, he admonished gently.
Kurogane had looked up, meeting his gaze steadily. My eyes are here, my heart is here. You need to see neither to feel them, High Priest.
To his surprise, his rudeness earned him a soft laugh. True. But I like to see the person I am talking to. If you don’t mind, that is. His smile was genuine, open, warm, and only then did Kurogane realize how beautiful the man was. His heart performed a funny kind of flutter in his chest. He hadn’t talked to the High Priest before, had only seen him from afar, but the prospect of finally talking to him now hadn’t caused him any anxiety until this very moment.
His cheeks flushed in mortification. These were forbidden thoughts, unthinkable thoughts about someone like the High Priest, but now they were at the forefront of his mind. Driving them away from there was impossible, and only made him panic more. Because the High Priest could see what was in his heart, and his heart right now was trembling like a newly born butterfly under the gaze of the most beautiful man he’d ever seen. He had only just become a Templar, only just begun serving the gods as their warrior, and now it was all going to be taken from him.
The High Priest made a small, surprised sound, for a moment looking taken aback, and then his face once more softened into a gentle smile. He reached out, resting the flat of his hand along Kurogane’s jaw, as he sat sat frozen in shock and awe. Do not fear what’s in your heart, the High Priest said, his voice deep with amusement. The gods see it, and they do not condemn, so why should I? I am just a human, and so are you. What we are is what we are.
Kurogane couldn’t speak. When he’d been eleven, he’d developed a very childish but very real crush on the young man teaching the village children. He had been frightened, and confused, and had done the only thing he could think of. Going to the village priest, he’d told him that there had been talk among the village children, and was it true that a boy could be in love with another boy? The man had scowled, and demanded the names of those supposedly involved in such evil talk. You should never let tongues wag idly about sins, he said, because if it wasn’t true it made you twice the sinner.
So it’s a thing that sinners do? he’d asked, fighting the bile rising in his throat as terror clenched at his guts. A priest could see if you were a sinner, surely?
It is, and I don’t believe for a minute that anyone in this village would commit such an evil deed. The priest put his hand on his head, and Kurogane had to fight not to flinch. You’d better put it out of your mind. Now, who has been talking?
He’d claimed not to remember, and then ran away from the priest’s disapproving scowl, ran until he reached the forest and could hide. There he sobbed and trembled and wet himself in fear, and had to return home with shame burning on his cheeks and no answers for his concerned parents. He was a sinner, but he would never let them know. They deserved a better son.
Even after being out in the world, after learning more about life, after seeing there were different views about things like that, the initial terror still ran deep within him. He’d fought all of his life against it, and yet... yet here was the High Priest, son of the most aggressive Puritan that Kurogane had ever heard of, and while the High Priest was supposed to be as neutral as possible in these matters, he’d thought for sure...
But he didn’t condemn. He didn’t scold or sneer. He didn’t laugh at the big strong warrior who’d rather have another man in his bed than do what was right and proper with a woman. His hand was warm on Kurogane’s cheek, his eyes were full of compassion, and he told him that it didn’t matter. Not to him, and not to the gods.
For the first and last time in a long, long while, Kurogane had wept, and for the first and second to last time ever, he felt no shame at his tears.
~*~*~
He woke up with his eyes burning, and snarled a low, rough-edged curse as he fought his way upright, glad for the darkness of the dawn. Fai snatched his hand back from his arm, looking apologetic.
“I’m sorry, Kuro-jam. I thought you might be having a nightmare.”
It hadn’t been a nightmare, not as such, and Kurogane couldn’t imagine that he’d been tossing and turning all that much. He was loath to think what kind of expression on his face would’ve caused Fai to attempt to save him from his dreams by waking him up. “I’m fine. What the hell are you doing up? It’s still too dark to go anywhere, and I thought you said no one needed to guard as long as you had those damn magics around us.”
Fai was watching him again with that almost-not-there smile that he wore when he was trying his best to figure him out. “Well, I had a nightmare,” he said, his voice smooth and bell-clear, as if it had been quite a while since he’d woken up. So had he been terrified to go back to sleep? Kurogane couldn’t help wondering. His own dream hadn’t been a nightmare, but the very fact that he longed now to return to sleep, longed to sink back into that memory and once more have everything that he’d lost... that terrified him. It was dangerous foolishness, and he wasn’t going to let himself succumb to it.
“What were you dreaming?” Fai asked casually, as if that really was any of his business.
“What were you dreaming?” Kurogane countered. “That’s how this works, mage. You tell me yours, I tell you mine. You ain’t gonna get nothing for nothing.”
Fai blinked in surprise, and then laughed, bouncing forwards on the balls of his feet like he always did when he sat in that ridiculous crouch of his. His hand darted out, and Kurogane, who was leaning on his one good arm, couldn’t slap it away before slim fingers took the liberty of brushing a stray lock of hair from his face with disconcerting tenderness.
“You drive a very hard bargain, Kuro-candy,” he murmured.
Already with the memory of a warm hand on his cheek burning in his mind and on his skin, Kurogane scowled darkly. “You do that again and I’ll make sure I ain’t the only one with only one arm around here,” he warned. Fai tittered softly, completely unperturbed by this.
“Mm, you wouldn’t do that to me, Kuro-sweet. You like me too much.”
“Then tell me if you’re afraid to go to sleep ‘cause you’re scared of what you will dream, or scared that you’ll have to wake up again,” he retorted, and knew he’d gotten one past Fai’s defences when those eerily blue eyes widened a bit, the constant smile flickering just a bit before widening into a defensive grin.
“I see we are being Kuro-tart this morning, bordering on Kuro-sour,” he singsonged, jumping back onto his feet. “Anyway, I might as well prepare breakfast.” He turned and started rooting through their bags, and Kurogane glared at his back and wondered what the hell was happening between them, and if it was too late to stop it already. After a moment or so, Fai stilled, turning to angle a small, strange smile over his shoulder. “Oh, and I believe the answer is ‘both’. So I think you owe me one for later. Now, let’s wake the children up. The days are getting shorter, so we might as well start getting used to darkness.”
.
no subject
But SO HAPPY THAT YOU UPDATED! I ♥ U Girl!
/twirling you around and joining in
And of course Fai doesn't tell anything useful. *frustrating*
The Nihon girl he met was.. Tomoyo? *-* Oh yes, were there's Kurogane there HAS to be a mistress, eh, I mean a Tomoyo. Yes. Like that. xD
Maybe it's the lack of Syaoran and Sakura, but this chapter seemed very short. I practically inhaled it and now the remnants are still there, but .. I really want MORE!
You turn me into a greedy stalker!
Also soda? I hope you don't forget to brush your teeth. >;<
/picks up and spins around
And Fai is forever the most frustrating person ever.
But no, not Tomoyo. Not yet ^^
I WILL WRITE MORE. I hope. If my computer stops crashing ;-;
/flashes ultra-white smile
/spinning and holding on @@
I agree, but hey, maybe Fai is frustrating people because he himself is frustrated beyond believe. =) Maybe you could change that? *eyebrow wiggle*
No Tomoyo YET in the past story timeline or no Tomoyo yet in the present one? *tilts head* I have the feeling I should know, but I'd have to re-read the rest first.
Your computer is crashing? Oh dear, I hope you can cure whatever is wrong with it~ >< Save all your data and format your harddrive, it may be a virus or trojan! It takes time to re-install most programms and settings, but if it's a software problem it's the most effective course as far as I can tell. Anyway I hope you manage to stop the trouble and go back to writing!
*huggles*
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Oh Fai's answer - sure he answered Kurogane, but the answer is still cryptic and doesn't say much. It's paradoxical, very conniving for him to say in a way "Seee? I did answer," but it's not something straightforward. ... Unless I'm reading too much into it. /facepalm
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Ahahahaha, yeah, Fai is being ever so evasive and avoiding questions by answering them, as per usual. He's a slippery little asshole.
<3
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no subject
lubedlewd thoughts, hmm?no subject