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Entry tags:
[fic] Nocturnes
Title: Nocturnes
Rating: PG-13
Author's notes: approximately 600 words of pointless, sappy fluff.
It's funny, Kurogane thinks, how your filters change over time.
He's a light sleeper. Always has been. It's a part of training to be a ninja; when most of the threats come in the night, you learn to attune yourself to the shadows and the night air and the darkness so closely that even a quiver out of place brings you wide awake. Oh, more often than not it's a false alarm -- he can't count how many times he awoke on their journey from the nearby rustling of some night animals or Sakura thumping about in her bed -- but he's learned to deal with that too. Come awake, assess the situation, go back to sleep again all without moving.
But when you spend too long rooming with someone, you learn to filter them out. Kurogane did. Somehow he always got stuck in a room with the stupid mage (who slept on his stomach but don't think Kurogane didn't hear it anyway, those tiny sounds of distress muffled in the pillow) and well, they spent six months together in the army camp at Yama and Kurogane was just lucky he only had to share a tent with Fai and not half a dozen other recruits. Over time he came to know Fai's night noises, his routines, the sound and rhythm of him getting up to piss in the middle of the night and he filtered them out. After long enough they didn't even wake him any more.
There was one thing that will still always wake him, though, no matter how sound the sleep, and that's the muffled sobs and gasps of his lover crying. It wakes him now, brought fully back to consciousness in the dim gloom of the room they share together, staring at the shadowy outlines of the wooden beams overhead.
He doesn't say anything, but he rolls over on his back, as-if-casually extending his human arm in Fai's direction. And they know each other so well by now, having gone round on this long enough to make it a routine, that Fai doesn't have to ask before sliding over on the futon and latching onto his arm, taking his hand and pressing his face against Kurogane's shoulder. A few warm drops spread through the fabric on his shoulder, then cool.
"Bad one?" he asks softly, gruffly in the gloom. There's no candle or lamp in this room and even the moonlight is dim and filtered through the paper, but Kurogane's night vision is very good and Fai's pale hair is like a beacon. He shakes his head now.
"Not particularly," he says in a wavering voice. Once he might have tried to hide that quiver, hide his tears, hide his pain and sorrow, but Kurogane has made it clear that he thinks it no weakness and no shame to weep when you need to.
But Fai's tears bother him, they always do, they always did, even when his eyes were dry and his face was smiling and everything happened behind locked and silent doors. They bother him now, because Fai does still have nightmares sometimes but he said this one wasn't that bad. And Kurogane is inclined to believe him, because Fai doesn't lie any more, so why...?
"It really wasn't that bad," Fai says, and the phrase ends with a slight gasp. "It... it's because... I wake up and I'm here. I'm not where I am in the dreams, not any more. Do you understand?"
Kurogane doesn't.
"It's because I'm happy," Fai whispers in his ear, and there's crawling and shifting and then Fai is pressing a kiss against his face. "To be here, to see you."
And Kurogane still doesn't understand, but maybe he doesn't need to. Fai is dealing with things in his own way, and it isn't Kurogane's job to police or patrol him along that way. So he just grabs Fai when he starts to move away -- not hard, just a little squeeze of the hand he holds -- and returns the kiss, then settles back against the futon and closes his eyes.
~end.
Rating: PG-13
Author's notes: approximately 600 words of pointless, sappy fluff.
It's funny, Kurogane thinks, how your filters change over time.
He's a light sleeper. Always has been. It's a part of training to be a ninja; when most of the threats come in the night, you learn to attune yourself to the shadows and the night air and the darkness so closely that even a quiver out of place brings you wide awake. Oh, more often than not it's a false alarm -- he can't count how many times he awoke on their journey from the nearby rustling of some night animals or Sakura thumping about in her bed -- but he's learned to deal with that too. Come awake, assess the situation, go back to sleep again all without moving.
But when you spend too long rooming with someone, you learn to filter them out. Kurogane did. Somehow he always got stuck in a room with the stupid mage (who slept on his stomach but don't think Kurogane didn't hear it anyway, those tiny sounds of distress muffled in the pillow) and well, they spent six months together in the army camp at Yama and Kurogane was just lucky he only had to share a tent with Fai and not half a dozen other recruits. Over time he came to know Fai's night noises, his routines, the sound and rhythm of him getting up to piss in the middle of the night and he filtered them out. After long enough they didn't even wake him any more.
There was one thing that will still always wake him, though, no matter how sound the sleep, and that's the muffled sobs and gasps of his lover crying. It wakes him now, brought fully back to consciousness in the dim gloom of the room they share together, staring at the shadowy outlines of the wooden beams overhead.
He doesn't say anything, but he rolls over on his back, as-if-casually extending his human arm in Fai's direction. And they know each other so well by now, having gone round on this long enough to make it a routine, that Fai doesn't have to ask before sliding over on the futon and latching onto his arm, taking his hand and pressing his face against Kurogane's shoulder. A few warm drops spread through the fabric on his shoulder, then cool.
"Bad one?" he asks softly, gruffly in the gloom. There's no candle or lamp in this room and even the moonlight is dim and filtered through the paper, but Kurogane's night vision is very good and Fai's pale hair is like a beacon. He shakes his head now.
"Not particularly," he says in a wavering voice. Once he might have tried to hide that quiver, hide his tears, hide his pain and sorrow, but Kurogane has made it clear that he thinks it no weakness and no shame to weep when you need to.
But Fai's tears bother him, they always do, they always did, even when his eyes were dry and his face was smiling and everything happened behind locked and silent doors. They bother him now, because Fai does still have nightmares sometimes but he said this one wasn't that bad. And Kurogane is inclined to believe him, because Fai doesn't lie any more, so why...?
"It really wasn't that bad," Fai says, and the phrase ends with a slight gasp. "It... it's because... I wake up and I'm here. I'm not where I am in the dreams, not any more. Do you understand?"
Kurogane doesn't.
"It's because I'm happy," Fai whispers in his ear, and there's crawling and shifting and then Fai is pressing a kiss against his face. "To be here, to see you."
And Kurogane still doesn't understand, but maybe he doesn't need to. Fai is dealing with things in his own way, and it isn't Kurogane's job to police or patrol him along that way. So he just grabs Fai when he starts to move away -- not hard, just a little squeeze of the hand he holds -- and returns the kiss, then settles back against the futon and closes his eyes.
~end.
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Strange, I thought it was Fai that said crying when someone needs to is a sign of strength.
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/showers you with love and happy feels
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I loved the bit about Sakura thumping in her sleep! *laughs*