animangod: (punishment)
animangod ([personal profile] animangod) wrote in [community profile] kurofai2014-04-23 08:11 pm

[Team Comedy] (Quarantine) Eggception to the Rules

Team Comedy banner
Title: Eggception to the Rules
Prompt: Quarantine
Rating: M, For crude mannerisms, lots of science and cartoon jokes/references and fowl language
Warnings: BAD PUNS
Author's notes: So I don’t remember the last time I worked on making something … funny besides light humor in dark angst. Lots of terrible puns and outside references. Will you catch ‘em all? This started out very serious-like and fluffy and it may have had a plot; then it seemed to just fly the coop and turn to slapstick and head smashing into wall, snippets of daily life. In case it wasn’t clear, if it says To (Name), that’s a text. (OMG TECHNOLOGY AND INTERNET IS MOSTLY WORKING WITH ME TODAY! IT'S A MIRACLE //^w^// ~ both haven't most the entire time.)
 
December 22
It was yet another late night at the laboratory. There were ten main departments at the lab but they all helped out when they could with another’s work. Policies demanded cooperation between departments but that interference with one’s active research was strictly prohibited.
Hideki stared emptily as numbers on a computer screen were no longer making any sense, and he rubbed at tired eyes. He shifted his gaze back and as the numbers were still just staring back at him mind numbingly, he scooted out of the chair and decided he was calling it a night.
“Kurogane, will you please make sure to lock up our new specimens before you go home?” he asked turning to one of the men in the room.
Red eyes looked up from where Kurogane was giving feed to the baby chickens Hideki’s group was working with, testing the benefits and disadvantages of different feeds on this particular batch of test subjects . A messy and loud business but one that was one of many things being researched in the agriculture department. Agriculture wasn’t Kurogane’s main field of study, but he did help feed the live specimens for the agriculture department of the lab.
“Ah,” he grunted affirmatively, “no problem,” he replied as the other seven unfed chicks chirped of feed me.
Hideki smiled at the black haired giant in a tired way, before collecting a few things and making his way out for the evening. Kurogane didn’t wait watching him leave, instead he focused on getting the chicks fed. Someone with a head just as fluffy yellow peeped into the agriculture lab, “Knew I’d find you here; are you almost done, Kuro-feed?”
Kurogane fed the last chick and secured the cage, before turning his focus to the blue eyed blond standing now about fifteen feet away. “Almost. Gimme five more minutes.”
“Alright, I’ll wait for you just outside,” the man said with a smile, retreating to just outside the lab.
Kurogane let a hard breath escape his lips before he washed his hands and then made his way over to where the amoebas were swimming around contained in petri dishes on their specimen trays. He took the trays two at a time and moved them into the special locker, and locked them in for the night. He then made annotations on papers of precisely what he did, and when, before washing up again for safety reasons and then walked out for the evening. His own lab partner, a man named Fai, was waiting for him, hands clasped behind his back and rocking back and forth on his toes. When he saw Kurogane exit, he flashed him one of his bright smiles.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Kurogane affirmed going with the blond to where his own projects were in the laboratory. Passing through hallways and rooms for research, for storage, for the archives, for the employees to come and go for breaks, a kitchen and cafeteria where they had people working many hours of the day to provide food to all the scientists there.
“Hey Kuro-pin, what part of the body goes off with a bang and makes you kiss someone?”
Kurogane barely glanced over with a raised brow and a sigh waiting.
“The mistletoe of course,” Fai said cheerily, as he pointed upwards to where he’d previously hung some.
Kurogane let the sigh escape and moved on. Fai pouted, and clung to his arm peering up at his partner. “Aw cmon, you’re supposed to kiss me when we’re under the mistletoe. I thought you’d be in better spirits by now. I mean, it’s almost Christmas.”
“Bah humbug,” Kurogane said with a typical scowl.
“Scroogy Kuro,” Fai said pouting more.
“You know we can’t drink on the job; besides I don’t even celebrate your damn Christmas,” Kurogane told him.
“Well you should, and it’s not just mine, it’s everybody’s. Didn’t you get someone a Secret Santa gift?” Fai said not letting the subject go, “Why don’t you celebrate it?”
“Christmas can take a dump … everyone gets presents for someone else’s birthday. It’s holiday robbery.”
“Is no holiday sacred enough to celebrate for you?”
“They’re all conspiracies, and ways for others to profit at your expense.”
“That’s so callous and cold. Somebody’s frostier than a Blizzard, maybe you should go sit in front of a fire until you melt those icy barriers.”
Kurogane grumbled at Fai, and was easily ignored as the blond had gone back to his own little world.
“Are you coming over for dinner?”
“Dunno. Ask Yuui.”
Fai pulled out his cell phone and began to type a whiny message to his aggrieved brother.
To Yuui: Kuro wouldn’t kiss me and we were so under the mistletoe its not fair life is pointless he even bah hm bugged xmas Make him come to dinner maybe he’ll be a good boy if theres your food involved
As Yuui checked his phone, he sighed as he got the message.
To Fai: You’re at work. Learn to use better grammar. I’ll text him later to see if he’ll come over for dinner. Now stop whining and focus on your work.
To Yuui: Yay make sure he comes I wanna fix that frown and send sama to cloud nine with me.
To Fai: Keep your texts work place appropriate while you’re at work, or I won’t ask him to dinner.
To Yuui: EVIL TWIN > :
An hour or so later, Yuui texted his brother’s partner.
To Kurogane: Please come to dinner; save me from how much Brother wants to have you for Christmas dinner
To Kurogane: to have you over for Christmas dinner. *blushing emoticon*
To Yuui: I’m sure he’d love that.
To Yuui: You know I don’t celebrate right?
To Kurogane: I’ll make that one thing you really love. The one with the cinnamon.
To Yuui: Fine.
January 8
To Fuuma: If the formula for water is H2O, what is the formula for ice?
To Fai: H20 cubed.
To Fuuma: You figured it out : D
To Fuuma: So it’s HHHIIIJJJKKKLLLMMMNNNOOO
To Fai: What?
To Fuuma: H to O cubed <3
To Fai: GET OUT.
Febuary 2
“Get back here you bastard!”
Shouting down the hallway, as two bodies seemed in a race. Two scientists moved to the walls to stay out of the way.
“Oh what is it this time?” Kakyo asked boredly as she watched Fai being chased, Fai wearing a goofy expression and the other a lot redder, angry or exasperated it was hard to tell as he ran down the halls, trying to catch up with the blond one. As the two scientists looked down the hall, something caught their eye. Kakyo bent down and examined it. “Looks like Punster rigged up another Glitter bomb.”
“You think he’ll strangle him this time?”
“Better a Glitter bomb than—“
“Don’t remind me,” the other scientist intervened, “It took me forever to get it all out of my hair…!” She said as she massaged the lengths of her hair. "One of these days, Fai's going to really get it for all the pranks he's always pulling."
"True. It won't be like he didn't have it coming."
March 20
Kurogane stretched out his back muscles before moving away from his current work station in the lab.
“Ah~?” Fai said turning his head about to stare at his lab partner, “You’re leaving already?”
Kurogane rolled his eyes, “Don’t make a big deal over it. I just need a snack break.”
“I’ll come with,” Fai chirped happily, quickly rising out of his seat and leeching his arms around one of Kurogane’s, who lets out an aggrieved sigh. Fai just smiled up at him with one of his goofy smiles, and Kurogane resigns himself to a common fate of his – theirs. Kurogane walked out of the particular room and down a lighted hallway. He turned the corner and walked down a different hall, making his way over to the break room where vending machines were for the employees who needed a sugar boost. Fai did not let go until they got into the room. Kurogane reached into his pockets of his uniform, a white lab coat and pulled out a few quarters he kept on him and slowly deposited four, one at a time. He then pressed the combination that he wanted, A1, and the snack size bag of Funnyuns was dropped from its position in the machine. He reached down and pulled the bag out of the dispensary tray.
“I wanna snack too,” Fai said with a tiny pout.
“Then get one,” Kurogane said not understanding what Fai’s problem was. If he wanted one, he should just go and get it for himself. Some people.
“Buy one for me?” Fai asked with an innocent head tilt and one of his goofy smiles.
A pause before Kurogane muttered. “You owe me.”
Fai grinned, raising his arms happily, “Yay~!” As he lowered them, he spoke much more mellow. “I want a gram cracker, no… Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum- Tellurium. Will you buy me a chocolate bar?”
Kurogane slid in more quarters before choosing another selection, D2, and the candy bar dropped from the fourth shelf. Kurogane grabbed it out and gave the treat to his partner. “Yay~ thank you, Kuro-tan~<3”
“Che, you still owe me,” Kurogane grumbled, knowing he probably wouldn’t actually see those quarters again. When he bought snacks for Fai, he rarely did.
“Roger dodger, Kuro-pan,” Fai said cheerfully not paying attention really as he was already absorbed in ripping off the red wrapper and eating his treat.
Kurogane sat down in an available chair at a table spread periodically through the room, pulling open his own snack’s top and slowly nibbling on the salty snack.
April 1
To Kakyo: Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?
To Fai: Omg Fai just stop already…!
To Hideki: A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of sodas. As the neutron is about to leave, asks the waiter how much they are. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge~<3"
To Fai: Couldn’t you pick today
To Fai: Not to be a jokester?
To Hideki: > : Never ~<3
To Fai: … I’m texting Kurogane to have him confiscate your phone away from you.
To Hideki: DX NOT MY PRECIOUS!!!
Kurogane received the text and sent a message to Fai
To Fai: Samarium, Argon, Tellurium, Arsenic, Sulfur… We have research to do. Get to work before you have one.
April 18
“Ah-Kewpie-pi…”
“It’s Kurogane,” Kurogane responds by now a generally ignored retort, or rather that Kurogane acknowledged that his lab partner was talking to him, and Fai yammered on with another nickname.
“Kuro-spore … have you seen my latest project?”
“Ah? You lose it?” Kurogane asked looking over his shoulder as his hands were busy straightening out some paperwork he had just finished with.
“Well no not exactly, but I don’t know if it will work or no. So I thought that if I could use one of your–“
“No.“
“But it’d only be—“
“Find your own birdbrain to test your new serum on.”
“…if you insist…Ah, you are joining me for Easter Brunch right, right?” Fai asked switching subjects.
“Do I have a choice?” Kurogane asked in a bored voice, getting back to his own work.
“Nope~!” Fai happily chirped, “So I expect to see you at no later than ten in the morning, Kuro, or I’ll toast your bacon~”
“That doesn’t even make any sense…!” barked Kurogane.
“Just be there alright?” Fai sighed.
Kurogane sighed, “Have work right? Could make time for it spose.”
“Yay~ what a good puppy you are.”
“Shut up bastard,” Kurogane said between a growl and dismissively.
April 19
“Kurogane, dear, how are you?”
“Ah, hey Yuui. Listen, you think you could whip up a batch of chocolate soufflés?”
There was a bit of silence on the other end before the almost identical twin voice came back on, “What did my idiot brother do this time?”
“….Well….”
“Oh yeah … Hideki texted me. The package is ready.”
“Oh.” Kurogane understood what that meant if Hideki texted him.
Yuui let out a gentle sigh. “How soon do you want him back home with me?”
“How soon do you think you can get those soufflés done?” Kurogane answered his question with another.
There was an understanding in his voice as he spoke again. “Alright, Kurogane, I’ll talk to you later.”
Kurogane and Yuui said their good byes and Kurogane got back to work, and pretended that everything was as it had been before that phone call, when not five minutes later, a blonde head came dashing through the doors panting. Spotting Kurogane at his work, he ran over to him and wrapped his arms around him. “Kuro-pii!”
“What the hell? Get a hold of yourself,” Kurogane said shrugging the man off.
Fai took a step backwards, squeezing his eyes shut as he clasped his hands together in front of his chest, as if to pray for something. “Kuro-puu! Is it okay if I leave now?”
“I thought you wanted to stay for another few hours,” Kurogane said offhandedly as he continued where he left off before he was bombarded by two lanky arms.
“I know ~” Fai wheedled, “But Brother is making soufflés and says he’s eating dinner all alone, so I was hoping…”
“Go ahead, I’ll finish up here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Enjoy.”
“Thank you Kuro-tan; I’ll see you again tomorrow, and I promise to be really super extra helpfully good,” he said as he hugged him, kissed his cheek before he ran off.
Kurogane waited until he saw the other outside and headed home, before letting out his own sigh of relief. “Guess it’s time to get to work.”
April 20
“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand million times, don’t GM breakfast food!”
“But Kuro-rin~” the blond cooed, “It’s Easter, surely you can make an eggcep—“
SMACK!
Kurogane crossed his arms as he held a slotted spoon in one hand and scowled at his partner who was now whining in pain from a red mark on his forehead from that very spoon hitting him moments before.
“Owww~ abusive partner,” Fai whined, holding his head with both hands, “and I don’t even like V8.”
“That is not the point,” he said uncrossing his arms and pointing the spoon at a small cage were a festively colored chick was making unusual chirps at him. It was feathered and sluggishly feisty and looked like a rainbow had spit it out. “Explain yourself!”
“I told you I needed to test out my new serum,” Fai said a bit sheepishly.
“And just what do you think this is? The fuck did you do to it?”
“Wull… I hadn’t actually meant to test it on the chicken.”
“Go on,” Kurogane gritted out.
“I may or may not have accidentally dropped my serum in with the egg I was hard boiling for Easter with special dyes mixed in the water to make it pretty like a good Easter egg.”
“This is a chicken, not just some placenta and yolk,” Kurogane said his scowl growing.
“That sounds gross,” whined Fai, “Besides. How was I supposed to know it was almost ready to hatch? I thought I got lucky and got one with twin yolks.”
Kurogane made a mild groan. “You…hard boiled it?”
“Well it was more like a… a soft boil.”
“You… boiled it.”
“That’s what I said—After all, you don’t want to have a raw egg for Easter breakfast,“ Fai said not understanding what Kurogane was getting at.
“Does that … thing have a brain anymore?”
“Well chickens don’t need one. They run around with their heads cut off all the time~”
WHAP.
“That was uncalled for,” whined Fai as he got hit again with the spoon.
“DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN!?”
“That’s rude, Kuro-puu… of course I have a brain, I just…” Fai shuts up then and cowers from the wooden spoon that Kurogane had raised again. Kurogane, though, didn’t hit him again. For the time being.
He let out a gritted sigh, “The things I do for you.”
“Eh?” Fai looked back at the taller man.
“Put that chick in quarantine and under surveillance, or can you even handle that?”
“Kuro-?”
“We’ll run some tests and figure what’s up with it, but until then, it’s to be considered a viable hazard.”
“Eggcellent!”
“That’s enough out of you, punmeister!” Kurogane warned. “Now scram and take your bird with you over to Quarantine.”
“You sure you don’t want it?” Fai teased. “It must be made of Beryllium, Gold, & Titanium cause it’s BE AU TI full.”
Fai smiled at him as he picked up the chick’s cage, and put it between him and the wooden spoon, going to take it to where they put the living that contact with might be hazardous to one’s health. Kurogane had once or twice threatened to lock him up in there and leave him, stating his presence was hazardous to his health and sanity. Fai was sure he was only kidding about locking him up in there, but one could never be fully sure about the black-haired man. He usually followed through with his words, even the half-kid threatening ones.
However the cage wasn’t completely shut right and the chicken flew the coop and began to run around the room.
“There’s a zombie on your—“ Fai began to sing song.
“Do not even start with me, sunflower!” Kurogane barked at Fai.
Fai was distracted and the thing pecked at him, to the surprised yelp from the blond. It continued to peck at him until Kurogane grabbed both flightless birds by the neck, “Quarantine, both of you!”
April 21
Kurogane stared into the glass containment center, where one featherless birdbrain and one festively colored brainless piece of poultry were cut off from each other by a conjoining wall. Speakers in the room connected to an outside intercom. From one of the chambers came nonsensical chirping noises and from the other was silence and stillness. One of the folks that worked in the copy room had thought it appropriate to make and place a sign between the two cell blocks. “Alive but as good as dead” was on one side, and “Dead but not allowed to die” was on the other.
Everyone was in on the joke. Everyone but the punster. Even his twin brother had given his consent to these activities. The real trouble had been keeping it a secret from the punster himself. Especially when like a few other members of the lab, Kurogane had a hard time deceiving another intentionally.
Pressing down on the button to talk to Fai’s cell, he was trying to keep from grinning so much, “Hey …what kind of party does a rooster go to?”
When he didn’t get a response, he finished the joke for him, “A cocktail party.”
Fai barely looked over, “Is this really a good time to be making jokes?” he asked.
“You seemed to think any time was a good time, even when no one else thought so…. Speaking of, do you know why curium, helium and barium are considered the healing elements? Because if you can't curium or helium, you barium.”
Fai made a pout, “That’s cruel~!” he whined.
April 25
“Well it looks like you got a case of chicken pecks,” kakyo read off of a printout report.
“Chicken pox?” Fai asked surprised a bit. “From the rainbow zombie over there?”
“It’s like chicken pox but it actually comes from getting pecked by a chicken. You have little to worry about; just some possible side effects.”
“What side effects?” Fai asked.
“Nothing serious, like you; just scratchy rash, blisters, fever, fussiness, dry cough, change in skin colors, drowsiness, excessive lethargy, rapid change in moods, secondary infection, ear infection, bacterial infection, inflammation, loss of coordination and balance, permanent scarring, pneumonia, hearing loss headaches, seizures, stroke, dissemilated varicella, coma and possibly death.”
“How is death not serious?”
“Oh don’t worry the Grim Reaper won’t take you. He’s a workaholic so he’s going to keep a safe distance from you until it’s safe to be near you again.”
April 26
“Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep a secret from you?”
“I just thought you were being extra grumpy because you had a chemistree branch stuck up your—“
“You know I’m a terrible liar; knew they were planning to pull something but had to keep quiet.”
“Well does Yuui know?”
“… Probably?”
“You are a terrible liar,” Fai said slinking his arms around Kurogane’s arms. “Still it was really mean of you to just leave me there. You should’ve joined me in Quarantine.”
“Debating on whether to laugh at your gullibility or to laugh at your stupidity.”
“Meanie, Kuro-meanie,” Fai said poking at his side where his hand was swatted away with little effort and Fai continued for a bit before quitting.
“Well this experience has been real…” Kurogane turned and glared at him, knowing exactly what he was up to and his scowl did not approve. “Un-fowl-gettable!”
Kurogane facepalmed. “I hate you,” he sighed.
Fai leaned up and kissed his cheek, “Love you too Kuro-kokoro.”
Kurogane let out another sigh, before straightening up, and continuing to the work station. “Yuui made your favorite for when you get home.”
“You’re coming over too right?”
“Why?”
“So I can enjoy my two favorite meals, with my two favorite people,” he said with a suggestive note.
“…will you not make any more puns for the rest of the day.”
“I’ll resist. But I can’t make any promises.”
"...alright."
 
 


Thank you for reading! How did I do?

Please score my fic according to these guidelines:
1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10)
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? (1-10)
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
 
Remember that you must provide some form of identification (a link to a blog or profile on another site will suffice) for your vote to be counted!

zelinxia: (Default)

[personal profile] zelinxia 2014-04-25 02:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh gosh, the puns! Enough that it will egg on people who can't stand them. Such a fowl thing if one doesn't appreciate bad puns.

What I want to know is: did Kurogane and co. manipulated the zombie chick? Or did they just use that quarantine moment to pull more pranks on Fai? I still wonder if they ever got cracking on the mystery of the zombie rainbow chick.

Aside from cringing over Kurogane smacking Fai with a spoon, this was really fun and cute to read!
renlylittlerose: subaru, just temporary (Default)

[personal profile] renlylittlerose 2014-04-25 05:04 pm (UTC)(link)
1. How in-character was this fic? 7
It was in character, Fai and Yuui especially, and their interaction, but I felt you could've developed everyone more. The story went by a little too fast so I didn't have time to get used to the setting and the characters and their relationships. It would've been nice to get to know them better. But not all the fics need to be huge, either, just wanted to see more of their lives and interactions! xD

2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 7
Well, so many puns in one fic. Mistletoe honestly xDDD I liked the idea of the prank, but I felt the story was a bit rushed, you could've played more with the theme.

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 6
I felt the story and the characters could've been more developed, because the idea was interesting, but the result felt a bit rushed. Maybe part of the feeling was also due to the formatting. I didn't notice some of the scene changes and was a bit confused at the end because of it. :/ But it was a funny light reading.

Egg...cellent puns everywhere

[personal profile] pilatesiguana 2014-05-02 03:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Puns everywhere! XD

I think the story was nice, but a bit rushed. You used the trope well, I like how Fai is basically in the same situation as a chick and treated pretty much the same during the quarantine. Overall though, the lack of formatting makes it kinda difficult to read. I think there was a lot of dialogue but not a lot of continuous plot - I think we jumped from Kurogane refusing to kiss Fai under the mistletoe to random text puns to Kurogane running after Fai, without a real overarching theme or idea pulling it together. The dialogue was well written and engaging, I just wish you had a bit more content. I appreciate the number of nerdy puns added!

All in all, the puns and chemistry jokes were nice, you included the trope, but as a story I find that you could work on focus/plot progression, character development, and clarity. Good effort though, thanks for your work in the KuroFai olympics!

1. How in-character was this fic? 6
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 7
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 6

(Anonymous) 2014-05-10 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
1. How in-character was this fic? 7/10
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 6/10
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 7/10

The formatting was a little jarring, and it meant I had to go back and read over things again to understand where the scene breaks were, and the progression of events. The story felt very plot-light to me, and it also felt like it was more a story about their life in the lab instead of pertaining to the prompt - which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it did mean I had to lower your score for number 2. However, I loved the inclusion of other CLAMP characters (I'm often left feeling that the overwhelming crossover possibilities of TRC aren't as fulfilled as I might like them in fic), and Yuui as Fai's foil was very enjoyable. I particularly liked the inclusion of Yuui and Kurogane's relationship - honestly, it's more of a support group for Fai's loved ones, but it's amusing nonetheless.

(inrestlessdreamsiwalk.tumblr.com)
cloverfield: (this is my reading face)

[personal profile] cloverfield 2014-05-11 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
A feathery barrage of fowl puns gets you a:

7 - 7 - 7

kittenkin: (Default)

[personal profile] kittenkin 2014-05-11 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
*does a hasty drive-by vote* 8/7/8

OMFG zombie rainbow chicklet I can't. *wants to draw the poor little cheepie*
zelinxia: Athena Cykes smiling with Widget set on happy mood mode (Athena - happy)

[personal profile] zelinxia 2014-05-11 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
7-7-8
farenmaddox: (Default)

[personal profile] farenmaddox 2014-05-14 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
*is a busy person, flings scores at everyone and runs*

1. How in-character was this fic? 8
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 7
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 6
mindlessadri: (Default)

[personal profile] mindlessadri 2014-05-16 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
1. How in-character was this fic? 8 - Fai was well handled as was his Yuui I was a bit iffy on Kurogane at times. But over all pretty good.

2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 6 - There just wasn't ENOUGH of the quarantine to feel like it was a driving part of the story. So it /was/ there but it wasn't a large enough focus to feel like it fulfilled the prompt.

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 6 - at times it felt like information was being hashed twice in one sentence or in consecutive sentences (ie: They went to the car and got in the car). It was also really short and didn't have a solid plot.
princehircine: (Default)

[personal profile] princehircine 2014-05-17 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
1. How in-character was this fic? 7
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 6
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 6

(Anonymous) 2014-05-17 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
1. How in-character was this fic? 7
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 7
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 7

I loved all of the puns, but the formatting made it a little hard to read.


elaseolvidah.tumblr.com
mikkeneko: (wai)

[personal profile] mikkeneko 2014-05-17 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Very cute and funny! I definitely felt like this was taken right out of one of the 'Horitsuba Gakuen' type settings, with Fai and Yuui living happily together and Fai pestering his longsuffering coworker Kurogane. XD

My only caveat is that I thought the prompt itself wasn't really explored all that thoroughly, it kind of seemed almost incidental to the rest of the story.

8
5
7
shachaai: (Default)

[personal profile] shachaai 2014-05-17 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
So many terrible puns. So many. Kurogane has my utmost sympathy, and Fai deserved that prank pulled on him. A cute story (although the formatting made it a little painful to read, which is easily enough fixed).

7 - 6 - 6
reikah: MCU's Lady Loki, looking kinda fed up. I feel you. (Default)

[personal profile] reikah 2014-05-18 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
Feedback tomorrow, I just wanted to get my vote in lightning-fast before the deadline!

7-7-8!
phebe: (Default)

[personal profile] phebe 2014-05-18 03:34 pm (UTC)(link)
1. How in-character was this fic? 8
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 6
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 8

I felt like the story was too rushed, but the characters were well written and IC : ) loved the prank idea, but I felt like the prompt wasn't explored or not in the center of the plot.

[identity profile] carmenwoods.livejournal.com 2014-05-18 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
This was a cute general idea! But I echo what other people have mentioned. Also, it could have used a warning for animal experimentation.

1. How in-character was this fic? 6.5
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 6
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 5.5
sotongsotong: (Default)

[personal profile] sotongsotong 2014-05-19 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
1. How in-character was this fic? 7
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 7
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 8
miyakodea: (Default)

[personal profile] miyakodea 2014-05-19 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
Hopefully I met the deadline (I am unsure what time zone we needed to follow). I am relatively new to the fandom and was sad I missed last year's competition when I heard about it. I got super sick this year so I don't really feel up to writing in depth reviews right now but I will come back and do that later. For now I will just give my scores.

1. How in-character was this fic? 8
2. How well did this fic handle the trope? 7
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 5
Edited 2014-05-19 02:46 (UTC)