[TEAM LIGHT] (THE ELEVENTH HOUR) HIS LIGHT

[bkaykoii]

Title: His Light

Prompt: The Eleventh Hour

Rating: M for language and adult themes

Warnings: trigger warnings for attempted suicide, alcoholism, and referenced self-harm
 

AO3

 

Thank you for reading! How did I do?

Please score my fic according to these guidelines:

1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10)

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (1-10)

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)

 

Remember that you must provide some form of identification (a link to a blog or profile on another site will suffice) for your vote to be counted!

Comments

[tsubasafan]

1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10) 9. They're practically infinity kurofai. A pair of angst muffins.
2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (1-10) 9. I liked that you lead up to this, that you showed the tension eating at kurogane.
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10) 8.5 it was a very nice fic, all that self loathing and worry and love that came through.

[hollyjollypaca]

1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10)
7; reasons why explained in a bit

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (1-10)
9; pretty self explanatory and get to the theme well

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
6; it felt very rushed and it felt weird reading their relationship. Cause in the beginning it sounded like Kurogane was just annoyed with a one-sided relationship that he didn't care about. And maybe that was the point but it just read like Fai was the next door neighbor he tried to avoid. Fai is a sad and angsty character but it just felt like he was written like a whining emotional teenager? I'm not good at describing things but it just felt like Fai was written with a little less maturity.

[notpotable]

1. How in-character was this fic?

10 - You managed to pack a lot of characterization into a short little fic!

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt?

9! And them being the light for each other was a nice touch~

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall?

10! I liked seeing both of them working to give each other the help they needed, and admitting when they needed something more to supplement that. This was a very hopeful, bright fic despite the heavy subject matter!

[miyakodea]

1. How in-character was this fic? 8
The whole story seemed a bit rushed so it was hard to get a grasp on the characters and their development throughout the story.

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? 9
It was almost more dark than light but I loved the underlying theme.

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 7
I liked the story, it just seemed like parts were missing, rushed, or almost out of place. The character’s relationship seemed a bit forced/off so it seemed a bit awkward. I feel like you could make some small alterations which would lead to the flow and depth of the characters being greatly improved. On the other hand, I loved how “real” you made everything. You did a wonderful job portraying their individual struggles.

[flowerspeaks]

1. How in-character was this fic?
I felt the characterization were rushed and character development a bit forced or felt unnatural to the story.
5

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt?
I felt the prompt was handled very strongly in the beginning of the story quite well but then ran out as the story began. As for the theme of light; it came it near the ending and didn't factor into the earlier parts.
6

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall?
I have to say you do know how to write a fic that gets the heart pumping! Man that one particular scene got me really stressed out! And I like how you handle Kurogane's negative coping mechanism and how you showed that is vulnerable to traumas. It was very humanizing and refreshing to read how you got the characters to come together and works towards a happier, healthier life.
9

[haezofdaust]

1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10)
9

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (1-10)
8

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
9

So I did enjoy this fic very much! Perhaps some parts were a bit clunky and didn’t flow or progress as naturally, and I do feel maybe this piece could have been much more if given a longer length, but there’s a certain rawness to this piece that really brought out their struggles - it was a lovely read!

[farenmaddox]

We're still a little sparse on votes, so I hope it is okay with all the writers to have a moderator jumping in to vote as well!

1. How in-character was this fic? (5)

Kurogane was okay, but Fai felt way off to me. He didn't have anything to his personality, apart from survivor's guilt that wasn't especially well-handled.

2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (7)

I saw the prompt in your work, and understood where you wanted to go. And yet... it started with a climax that I didn't have any investment in because I hadn't spent any time with the characters and didn't know them. Then the rest of the fic was all denouement. For an Eleventh Hour prompt, I would have liked to see a build toward a final action, rather than the other way around.

3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (5)

It was not a bad concept at all, but I found it pretty under-developed. I would have liked to see a lot more work put into fleshing out the characters and forming their relationship with each other before the 'Eleventh Hour' moment happened.