kurofai | [Team Canon] (Idyllic Countryside) Cocoon 1/3

Prompt: Idyllic Countryside
Title: Cocoon (part 1 of 3)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Fluff, angst, self-harm
Spoilers: Indirect spoilers for Kurogane and Fai's backstories.
Summary: Four travelers arrive in a strange town surrounded by walls, where no one is able to enter or leave. With no memory of who they are or where they're going, will they be able to find a way out - or even last long enough to try?

Author's Note: This was written for the 2012 Canon Vs. AU Olympics. I was on team Canon.

The setting is of the anime Haibane Renmei.

When they come to a world, they take on the characteristics of that world. It's not only an attempt to blend in; the laws of the universe demand it.

On the day the new Feathers arrived, the walls surrounding the town trembled. They were deep-set walls and strong, but it was a powerful memory they had to bury.

For a moment - just a moment - the sky above the valley twisted and warped, until one could almost see an endless receding tunnel of golden light leading to an unfathomable distance.

Then a flash like lightning lit the sky, grounding itself in the earth below. The walls trembled, but then subsided, patiently waiting.

And four bright seeds streaked down from the sky to take root in the soil of the Old Church.

It was summer, and the plants were growing like crazy. The hillside south of the church was an ocean of shimmering green, the sunlight illuminating a soft silvery sheen of a million minute spiderwebs glazing each tuft of grass. It was alive, too; the air rising up to the church was filled with the droning noise of the crickets in the grass, the rustling noise of small animals and the twittering calls of birds. Beyond the rolling mounds of grass, the hazy light reflected from the smooth, placid surface of the river rolling leisurely by.

All around the old churchhouse, ragged overgrown greenery threatened to overrun the stonework. The inhabitants of the rambling stone building did what they could to keep the grass and weeds from growing over the courtyard and walkways, but there was only so much they could do; it would take far too much time and effort to cut back the ivy that crept determinedly up over the low walls, and that was time and effort they needed to spend on other things.

They had managed to reclaim a flat patch of earth outside the churchyard's stone walls, where the ground sloped away towards the slow river, for use as a garden. This was the second growing year since they'd broken ground and the tomatoes and beans were doing much better than last summer; Willow walked back towards the churchhouse with a basket under her arms overflowing with rustling beanpods. She couldn't wait to get inside and wash; her scalp itched where sweat was trapped under her hair by the long handkerchief, and her face and arms itched where dirt had smudged over them.

After letting herself in through the worn wooden gate, Willow changed course across the courtyard and headed for one of the outlying wings. The whole church, seen from the front, always reminded Willow of nothing quite so much as a collapsing birthday cake. In the center was the stone chapel, the oldest part of the building, beautiful and proud with its arched buttresses and the pointed spire of the bell tower standing up straight like a candle.

Later generations had added several more wings to the original building, one on the east side and two on the west, bending around to surround the original chapel yard. The newer wings were an eclectic mix of stone, wood and plaster, lower and more untidy-looking than the central chapel; their builders had cared less for looks than for functionality. While the chapel contained mostly only beautiful stained glass friezes and echoing emptiness, the outlying wings were a mishmash of offices, kitchens, meeting rooms and storage closets. They might not be as pretty as the stone sanctuary, but they were a lot more comfortable.

And once the last of their builders had gone away, leaving the building empty, the Haibane had moved in.

It was a lot to keep up, especially with just her and the three other older Haibane; the handful of little ones couldn't be expected to provide much help. Mr. Santos the maintenance man came out from town every second Saturday to check the boilers and do minor repairs, but he could hardly be expected to keep the whole place livable by himself. And that wasn't the point, anyway. It was their home, and so they were the ones who worked hard to keep it.

The garden was the same way. One small garden plot couldn't possibly provide enough food for all of them - but every stalk and leaf out of the garden was less supplies they would have to rely on from town. Assuming, Willow thought wryly as she shouldered open the sticking wooden side door, that the little ones could be persuaded to eat green beans.

The hallway was dusty, motes drifting down from the doorframe and then floating up again in the angled square of sunlight, and poorly lit. Somewhere to the right of the door there was a stiff switch that controlled the electric lights to this wing, but Willow didn't bother with them; she knew the route well, and her halo provided just enough light to faintly illuminate the ground before her feet.

Willow hooked the heavy basket over one hip and threw her arm over the top to hold it, and with her free arm dragged open the pantry door. She would store the beans in one of the big, ceramic basins, and then -

She stopped, train of thought broken as she stared at the interior of the familiar pantry. Even without turning on the overhead lights, a pearly blue-white glow filled the room. Indeed, half or more of the room was completely taken up by the glow; the far window was completely blocked by the enormous cocoon that lay there, like a seed fallen from some giant's milkweed plant.

The basket of beanpods fell from Willow's nerveless arms, scattering over the ground. She gulped and knelt hastily down, shoveling them back into the basket and then setting it quickly aside. She'd last been here less than five days ago, setting a load of cucumbers aside. How… oh how could this cocoon have come to be here - and so big! - in just so short a time? Already it filled most of the empty space in the room, the roots biting deep into the earthen floor and the crown of it threatening to buckle the ceiling.

It must be very near to cracking; there was no time to lose. Willow dashed out of the pantry back through the darkened corridor, her heart banging painfully in her chest and her face and hands tingling with excitement. Another Haibane - a newborn - and Willow had found her! Or him, she corrected herself hastily. You never knew, until the cocoon hatched, just what you were going to get.

She hoped it would be an older one, like her - she loved the little ones, but they were charges to be cared for, not friends. Another companion - someone she could talk to, who'd understand, someone to help out around the home, someone to take a job in town and help provide for the others…

Willow hit the small descending stairs at the end of the hallway and stumbled, nearly tripping flat on her face; only a frantic, hasty flapping saved her from a painful sprawl. "Stop it, Willow," she told herself out loud, staggering to find her balance. "You're getting ahead of yourself."

She shouldn't be thinking of the newcomer as a helpmate and provider yet, not when she (or he, she corrected conscientiously) wasn't even out of the cocoon yet. All Haibane started out the same - weak and confused, needing patience and warm support. Willow shifted her thoughts with an effort away from the joy of a new friend, and made herself think of logistics and supplies instead. One of the guest rooms off the main meeting room was open right now, just needing fresh linens on the bed. And there were first-aid supplies in the infirmary, she'd need those for when the newcomer's wings came in…

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't see or hear where she was going until a sharp voice said "Hey, watch it!"

"Viv!" Willow gasped, steadying herself, her heart still fluttering from the near-miss. "You won't believe what I have to tell you…"

At the same time, the other girl was saying; "Will, I've been looking all over for you! You won't believe what I've found…"

"The cocoon?" Willow interrupted, and grinned at her friend's startled reaction. "I know! I just saw it. Isn't it wonderful?"

"Yes, of course, but…" Viv glanced at the dirt on Willow's hands, then past her down the hallway, a perplexed expression crossing her face. "Didn't you just come in through the garden?"

Willow blinked. "Yes, I was putting the beans - you saw it, didn't you? The new cocoon down in the pantry?"

"No!" Viv sounded shocked. "I was just coming to tell you - there's one in the solarium! It's wicked huge, I can't think how we missed it before now…"

Willow's delighted shock gave way to just plain shock. Two cocoons? At one time? Oh, this was going to be trouble. She hastily re-did her calculations. Well, there was another room across the hall from the first, and some emergency supply kits… with two more mouths to feed, how were they going to manage meals? All of their carefully planned food budgets were going to go out the window…

"You're doing it again," Viv interrupted, and Willow startled slightly as Viv broke into her train of thought. The red-headed girl grinned, that blinding smile that she used to such devastating effect. "I told you. Stop worrying! Everything will be fine. This is great, isn't it?"

"Yes," Willow had to agree. "Oh, two newborns, all at once, after a year without any! It's wonderful, but…!"

"Willow! Willow!" A familiar, high-pitched clamor came up from the stairwell, shortly followed by the clattering footsteps of their owners. Frost came surging around the stairway bend first, hand on the railing to brake his momentum. He was grinning all over his face; behind him trailed Bubbles, as sedate as always but with a secret delight written all over her face. "Guess what we found! Down in the music room!"

Willow looked at them with a slowly growing horror; Frost was jumping around like a cricket, grinning from ear to ear, and Bubbles' shy smile was just intense. "Oh, no," she said, dread gripping her as her stomach dropped out from under her. It was just too unlikely, but… "Don't tell me you've found one more cocoon!"

The two younger Haibane looked at each other, and then Bubbles shook her head. Willow barely had time to breathe out in relief, before Frost interrupted her with a smug grin. "It's two more cocoons! All tangled together!"

"What?"

The light pulsed: white and grey, white and grey.

He opened his eyes.

The first thing he saw was the plaster ceiling decorated with cracks. It was whitewashed, brightening and dimming with the light. The source of the light seemed to be a bank of windows - three windows set in a little alcove in the wall; the biggest one in the center, and two smaller ones tilted inwards flanking it. The light glowed in the glass panes, making it hard to see out. When it dimmed again he caught sight of the sky beyond, speckled with fast-moving clouds that intermittently covered the sun. Rain was coming soon, he thought, and shivered when he remembered his dream.

He didn't recognize this room and wasn't sure how he'd come to be here. He wasn't sure of much of anything, really, up to and including his own name. Snatches of the dream he'd just had flittered past his mind, too fragmented and scattered to recall; something about city streets, and rain… Before that, nothing.

The inside of his mind was strangely still and quiet, but underneath everything was a kind of worried urgency: he was supposed to be doing something. He was going someplace, looking for - the thought ended on empty space. He didn't know what he was supposed to be searching for, any more than he knew who he was…

The emptiness was a little frightening, but this place seemed quiet and peaceful enough. Maybe this was a hospital, and he'd had some kind of accident. That thought made sense. Soon, some doctors would come and fix the hole in his memory. But if he'd been hurt, then what about the others?

Others? The thought seemed to come from nowhere, like the urgent need to search. He didn't remember any others - but that didn't mean there weren't any. He made an effort to sit up, look around him.

The surfaced under him scraped and wobbled as he moved, and he found himself revising his initial assessment. He wasn't on a bed at all - it was a table. Or rather two tables pushed together, then piled high and thickly with sheets and covers. A glance around the room showed other tables and chairs, pushed back against the walls, but no beds. He himself was wearing a kind of white linen gown, but a draft against his shoulders warned him that it wasn't completely closed in the back. That seemed to support the hospital theory, but then what kind of hospital didn't even have beds?

Footsteps rattled in the hallway outside; he turned quickly to look, but winced as a cramping pain shot through his back. Well, he supposed that's what he got for sleeping on tables…

A chatter of raised voices sounded from the hallway, and not one but three people came piling in. The first set of footsteps scampering in belonged to a girl, small-boned and with brown hair; his attention sharpened on her, but after a careful study of her face he decided he didn't know her. Her hair was too long, ruler-straight and a sort of dull mousey color, not auburn. Her face was thin, her eyes a little too protruding from her face, and she was wearing a shy, happy smile. He decided he liked the look of her.

The other two were total strangers. There was a small boy, even younger than the girl, with pale blond hair cropped close to his head and big, blue-grey eyes. He was grinning, laughing at something the older girl had said. She was quite pretty, with startlingly red curly hair against pale skin dusted with freckles, and the eldest of the three, with close-cut denim clothes over a more adult frame.

And all three of them had wings.

He stared at them, not quite believing his eyes; he shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing them hard; but when he opened them again, the vision hadn't changed. Each of them had a pair of soft grey wings extending from their back; they extended only as far as their shoulders, but they were unmistakably there, and fluttered slightly as the strangers moved and gestured. And a pale blur above each of their heads resolved itself, as they turned and nodded, into a pale shining halo hovering soundlessly above each head.

"You're awake!" the younger girl said happily, coming towards him with a face wreathed in smiles. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Bubbles."

"I'm - uh - " He hesitated, suddenly reminded of the strange emptiness inside of him.

The older girl made a disapproving tch. "Bubbles, you're just going to confuse him," she said. "We should wait until the others are all awake and in here, so we only have to do the introductions once."

"Yeah, but he's awake now," the boy pointed out. "We've got to tell him something, or he'll be confused as heck."

"Good point," the redhead said. "Well, I'm Viv, and this little troublemaker is Frost." The boy grinned, not seeming to take offense at the appellation. "Sorry to cut and run, but I've got to go look in on the others."

"Others?" His heart swelled with excited certainty, yes! There wereothers, he'd been right!

"Four of you, all at once!" Viv shook her head in amazement. "That's never happened, ever. Old man Santos said the same thing, and he's been here for decades. He said he'd never heard of it even before his time, either."

"And the other two are practically grownups," the little boy - Frost - added, leaning in from the side. "Even older than Willow. That neverhappens."

"And one's a giant!" Bubbles put in helpfully. "He's huge! We had to get a cart and all push it, just to get him into the guest room!"

"Speaking of guest rooms, sorry about all this," Viv added, waving her hands vaguely to take in the sunny room and the not-quite-real beds. "There wasn't any room for you two in the guest rooms, not with the other two taking them up, nor for them out here."

"Are they okay?" he asked anxiously.

"Of course," Viv said, shooting him an odd look. "Why wouldn't they be? But if you're awake, they'll probably be waking up around now too, so I need to get back. Willow's watching over the big dark one, so I need to get back and look in on the skinny blond guy. Frost, go along and tell Will what's happening, will you? Then come back and help Bubbles with these two."

"Will do," the boy said, and thumped away down the hall. The redhead gave him an encouraging smile, then slipped out.

Only the girl - Bubbles - stayed behind, and she gave him a warm smile as she hopped up and sat on the edge of his bed-table. "Sorry about the table, but we just didn't have enough beds free on short notice," she said. "Would you like a drink of water?"

"Uh - thanks," he said, taking the proffered glass. He wasn't actually very thirsty - he didn't feel much of anything, other than a weird, slightly loopy feeling. But other questions seemed much more important. "Are you an angel?"

He wasn't even sure what angels were, but it seemed to be the right word to go with the wings and halos. The girl giggled, her mouth dimpling up as she smiled. "No," she said. "We're Haibane."

That word, on the other hand, wasn't familiar at all. He was still trying to work it out when she added, "Like you."

"Like me?" Automatically he put a hand up above his head, but his waving fingers encountered only empty space. He tried to twist around to look over his shoulder, but a painful cramp made him wince. Anyway, he'd just been sleeping on his back; he thought he'd have noticed if there were wings there.

Bubbles giggled again. "Not yet," she said. "Your wings will come in later. Willow is going to get the molds with your halos in them, as soon as you're all awake and settled in."

"Are the others my family, then?" he asked. "My brothers and sisters? Is that why we all arrived together?"

Bubbles looked doubtful, her nose scrunching up. "I don't think so," she said. "They don't really look anything like you. The big one is all dark, and the other one is super pale. Haibane come from all different countries, you know, before they come here."

"Then why do we all speak the same language?" he asked interestedly. It seemed that if he had come to another world, the languages ought to be different. Although was sure that there had once been a way to translate…

The girl was taken aback. "I don't know," she said after a minute. "We just always do. Maybe it has something to do with the walls, or with the cocoons."

"How do you know all this?" he asked; in the face of her matter-of-factness, he found himself being honest. "I don't think I'm a… Haibane. I don't even remember my name."

The girl nodded, as if unsurprised. "All the Haibane start that way," she explained, matter-of-factly. "None of us remember our old lives, or who we used to be. When you come here you start over on a completely blank slate. Our names aren't our old names, either. Traditionally a Haibane takes his or her new name from what they remember of their cocoon dream."

"Cocoon… dream?" He was feeling lost and out of his depth, but her words stirred a dim recognition in him at last: the inside of a pale milky bubble, shining with a sourceless light, and the dim sound of voices from beyond the walls.

"Bubbles, couldn't you even wait till I got here?" a voice complained, as the young boy - Frost - reappeared in the doorway. "Hey, don't tell me that new girl's still asleep! She slept through all this commotion?"

To his right, another set of pushed-together tables had a mound of fluffy white sheets and pillows. The lumps in the covers were crowned by a head of fine, untidy hair, somewhere between ginger and brown in color; the face was turned away from him, towards the window. Somehow, despite the light shining almost directly into their face, the sleeper breathed peacefully onwards.

So that was all right. She was here, so everything would be all right. A choking fear he'd barely recognized eased, unwinding from around his chest and throat. But if she was here, then where were the others?

"If she's asleep, we ought not to wake her," Bubbles objected, but Frost ignored her. He walked around the converted table-beds to the mound of sleeping white fluff, and yanked the covers down from the sleeping figure.

"Frost! Don't do that, it's cruel!" Bubbles exclaimed.

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Frost retorted. "I'm not hurting her. I do this to wake you up all the time, and you haven't dropped dead of it yet, have you?"

"That's how I know it's cruel!"

He opened his mouth to object hotly to this rough handling, but then closed it uncertainly. After all, it wasn't like they were related, was it? And he didn't know at all what was going on here, and these two strangers did.

Still, he felt a strange, almost instinctive urge to hover protectively over the sleeping girl. She was important to him, he decided to himself. They had been born together; that made them like siblings. And no matter what else happened in this strange new world, he would look after her.

---------------

He awoke in a strange place - a creaking, overstrained bed, and walls and ceiling that were dark with varnish. A feeling of residual panic - probably from his dream, although he couldn't fully remember it - drove him to get up, get dressed, and find a way out of here. He couldn't remember where he was from, or where he was going, but he knew it was important to keep running, before, before… before something terrible happened.

A quick search around the room didn't find any of his clothes or - or anything else, and he was wearing only what seemed to be a loose hospital gown. He forced himself to relax, breathe deeply and fight down the urge to flee. This seemed to be a safe place, at least, and he didn't seem to be a prisoner here.

The door opened, and a young woman with curly red hair and flashing green eyes walked in, and smiled widely to see him awake. "Oh, you're up!" she said brightly. "That's good, we can get started."

He found himself returning that smile, his face moving easily into the gesture. Best to be friendly, play it safe, make friends if possible. If nothing else, he had to make this girl think that he was harmless. That should be easy enough. "Excuse me," he said as politely as he could, "but may I ask, who are you?"

"I'm Viv," the girl said, and laughed.

"That's a nice name," he said. "I like it. And - for that matter - who am I?"

---------------

He woke up feeling ill-at-ease, tetchy and irritable. No doubt the dream he'd had was partly responsible for it - even if he couldn't really remember the details - but it was made worse by the fact that he was crowded onto a bed a good foot too short for him. When he'd tried to get up to make for the door, he'd been too dizzy to stay on his feet, and had collapsed back on the bed shortly afterwards.

It only increased his annoyance to realize that he was dressed in a flimsy shirt-like garment that was too tight around the chest and arms, despite being completely open in the back - and a pair of what seemed to be small shorts that were probably meant to be loose, but were alsoseveral sizes too short.

The door opened, and his fingers curled automatically as if around a handle, reaching towards his hip for - where is my! - he thought, outraged by the loss, even though he couldn't remember what was missing.

A young woman entered the room, carrying a tray with a pitcher and a bowl on it. He looked her up and down narrowly, assessing for weakness - or threat. She had black hair, mostly tied up in a sort of bun on the back of her head, with strands escaping to curl around her forehead and neck. Her eyes were also dark, her features pale and worried-looking, and she wore long-sleeved, sensible-looking tunic and trousers.

She stopped when she saw him sitting up. "You're awake?" she asked, and he snorted at the utter redundancy of the question. Of course he was awake, why else would he be sitting up looking at her? "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," he told her bluntly, and it was true. His head was throbbing, his back hurt as though he'd pulled a muscle in training, and he hadn't done that in - in - not for a long time, that was for sure. "Why the hell am I dressed in these clothes?"

She flushed. "Sorry, but we didn't have anything in your size," she said, apologetic and a little bit defensive. "As soon as we can go into town, we'll try to find some better clothes for you, but for now, please just bear it."

She set the tray down by the side of the bed, and he subsided uneasily into the creaking mattress. At least she didn't seem to be a threat - there was no point in being rude to her. "Where am I?" he said instead, making an effort to keep his voice civil. "And who are you?"

"My name is Willow," the dark-haired girl said, clasping her hands together and leaning forward on her elbows. "I'll explain everything, but - first we need to give you a name."

---------------

"When a Haibane is born, they lose all memory of their former life and that includes their name," Viv explained. "So when they wake up here, one of the first things we have to do is find a name for them."

---------------

"Traditionally, the name comes from the dream they had while in their cocoon," Bubbles said seriously. "That was how I got mine. I dreamed I was in a warm pool of water, and the air around me was full of beautiful bubbles."

"I dreamed I was outside, by a river," the boy butted in, leaning across the foot of the bed. "There wasn't any snow, but the river was frozen, and the grass and leaves and everything were all white with frost. So I'm Frost."

---------------

"I dreamed of the branches of a willow tree," Willow said, her voice low and pensive. "The leaves and catkins were surging and swaying in the wind, but the trunk and branches were black and twisted and still as stone."

---------------

"It's short for Vivid," the red-headed girl admitted, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "I don't - my dream didn't make very much sense. Mostly what I remember was just a flare of bright, vivid colors - reds and blues and greens and gold. No shapes, no people… just colors. But you can call me Viv for short."

"I think it's a pretty name," he told her gently, and she flushed even more. Then she sat up straighter in the chair, and gave him a saucy smile.

"Well, what about you? What did you dream?"

---------------

"I dreamed… of water," he admitted, speaking slowly as the dream came back to him. "I was out in a city street somewhere, and the rain just came pouring down. I could hardly even see the houses, or even the other people in the street. They were… almost dim, like ghosts. Nobody… nobody stopped to talk to me, or see if I was all right." He paused a minute to swallow, as the feelings of hurt and sadness that had come over him in the dream rose up in him again.

"Was it a frightening dream?" Bubbles asked in a hushed voice, leaning forward with her eyes shining sympathetically.

He shook his head. "No, not frightening," he said. "Just lonely."

---------------

"Fire," he growled, his voice grudging as he started to speak, as though he didn't even want to admit this much. "I dreamed… everything was on fire - the walls, the roof, everything. It was dark outside - night. I couldn't see the sky past all the smoke. It should have burned me, but I didn't even feel hot."

"Were you frightened?" Willow asked quietly.

"No," he said, sharp and forceful. "I was angry."

There was a short silence between them, and then Willow asked, "Do you remember anything else?"

---------------

"It was… like ice," he said slowly. "Like the whole world was carved out of ice, except for me. The - the ground is covered with snow, packed so hard it's like white ice. I'm standing in front of a wall made of stone, and the stone is so hard and so cold it's like black ice. The wall goes all the way high up, much higher than I can see.

"It's snowing, and there's so much snow that it hardly even seems to be falling, just standing still in the air. Nothing moves, except me. Nothing's alive, except me."

He fell silent, trying to wrestle down the feelings of panic that rose in him as he recounted the dream. Something - something terrible had happened, in that dream - something terrible had happened to him -

Viv stirred, and crossed her arms as she huffed out a sigh. "Well, that's no good," she said.

---------------

"Rain, then," Bubbles said thoughtfully, and Frost nodded agreement. "We'll call you Rain, since that was the part of your dream that you remember the best."

"All right," he said, taken somewhat aback. It seemed strange to just hand out names to people, like they were a puppy you found on the street - but at the same time, he badly wanted to have a name, any name. Rain. He tested the name in his head, felt it rolling around and settling on his shoulders like a cloak. He was Rain.

The other two, Bubbles and Frost, both looked over to the girl, who had been sitting quietly on her bed and listening. "What about you?" Frost wanted to know. "What did you dream of?"

The girl shook her head, looking perplexed. "I don't know," she said. "I don't remember anything."

"There was someone else - in the fire," he said. He shook his head in frustration. "Someone else there, in the fire with me - but I couldn't see their face. I kept trying to see their face, but it was just too dark, or the smoke got in the way…"

"Hmm," Willow said, a humming noise almost too low to be heard. She sat back, one arm crossed over her chest, the other finger tapping at her lips. "Pyre," she said at last, louder. "The funeral fire, the one that burns away your old life. That's your name."

"Whatever," he huffed, looking away from her. "Call me whatever you like. It's not my real name."

---------------

"No good?" He stared at the red-headed girl, astonished. "What do you mean?"

"We already have a Frost, we can't name you the same thing. It'll be confusing," she said impatiently. "Don't you remember anything else from your dream? Anything else that might be important?"

He stared down at his hands, fingers laced loosely in his lap. In his dream, he'd beat on the wall until his hands bled, fingers withered and chapped and whitened from the cold. He didn't particularly want to tell her that. But - "The wall," he said lowly, hardly knowing what he was saying. "I look up along the wall, and - and it's like I'm falling upwards into the snow, like I'm moving very fast even though I'm standing still. The stones are rushing along underneath me, and - "

He stopped, and shook his head helplessly. "That's all I remember," he said. "I'm sorry."

"Fall," she announced abruptly, and smiled in triumph at her own invention. "Like a snow-fall, we'll call you that. How does that sound?"

Fall. It sounded familiar, somehow, some way he could not define. But if they wanted to call him that, that was fine. He nodded silently.

---------------

"But there has to be something," Bubbles said, sounding puzzled. "All Haibane have a dream when they're in the cocoon, it's - it's just the way things are. Maybe you mean that you just don't remember it very well?"

The girl shook her head again. "It's not that I can't remember," she said. "It's just that there's nothing to remember. When I think about the time - before I woke up here, I mean - it's just… blank. Like an empty space that isn't light or dark, or cold or warm. There was nothing there."

"Well, we have to call you something," Bubbles said, exasperated. "We can't just go around calling you 'blank.' "

Princess, Rain thought suddenly, the word appearing in his head like a raindrop had just fallen from the ceiling. "Can't she just choose another name?" he began, ready to offer it as a suggestion.

Bubbles twisted her hands together, biting her lip. "But the tradition -" she said. "The cocoon dream, it's not just a name. It's the last piece of who you are. You don't want to lose that -"

"I'm sorry," the girl said quietly. "There's just nothing for me to remember."

"Aught," Frost interrupted, and sat up straight from where he'd been slouching against the bed. The other three looked at him, blinking.

"It means 'nothing,' " he explained. "But it has a better sound, don't you think? If her dream really was of 'nothing,' then that's just the way it is. Lecturing her won't make a dream suddenly appear out of nowhere."

"I was not lecturing!" Bubbles exclaimed heatedly. "What are you thinking? That's an awful name, that's just as bad as calling her 'zero' or 'blank' or something! We can't!"

"I don't mind," the girl said, and the well-practiced banter between the two children lurched to a halt.

"Really?" Frost said, looking surprised and gratified. She nodded, and he shot a smug look over at Bubbles, a wide grin that showed a gap for his missing tooth. "That settles it, then! She's Aught."

---------------

"Listen, never mind all this about dreams and names," Pyre said impatiently. "The important thing, where is this place? I don't even know how I got here, and I need to get home."

Willow looked at him, her face unfathomably sad. "I'm sorry," she said gently. "Nobody knows who you used to be, or where you once came from. Once you are born as a Haibane, you lose all that. This place, this town and this valley - this is your home now."

---------------

"There's a wall around the town, you see," Viv explained. "The farms and fields, this church and a few other old abandoned buildings, the woods and the town - the wall goes all the way around it. Nobody comes in from the outside - except Haibane like us, who can never remember anything about our lives before - and nobody can ever leave."

---------------

"But that doesn't make sense! There must be a whole world out there, somewhere, beyond that wall," Rain exclaimed. "Hasn't anyone tried to climb it?"

"No!" Both Bubbles and Frost looked shocked, actually horrified by the suggestion - even Frost's joker face was pale and drawn. "We can't do that. We'd get in trouble for even going near the wall, let alone touching it!"

---------------

"Normal humans, the ones that live in town - they're different," Viv said. "If they want to leave, they can - although they can never come back again, once they leave. But not us."

---------------

"We Haibane, we have to live by certain rules," Willow explained; she looked down, strands of hair falling to cover her hair like a curtain. "This town, this valley exists for us, for our own protection. In exchange, there are certain things that are forbidden to us."

"I don't accept that," Pyre snarled.

Willow gave him a sad smile, and rose from her chair. "You will," she said. "Everyone does, in the end. This is your home now, and you'll come to accept that."

I can't stay here, Pyre thought. I must keep going, because I have to go home.

---------------

"It's not so bad, really," Viv encouraged him. "I talk about rules and stuff that make it sound really awful, but for the most part this is a really good place to live. You'll like staying here."

I can't stay here, Fall thought. I must keep going, because they're coming for me.

---------------

"Anyway, we're really glad to have you here," Bubbles said earnestly, and Frost nodded vigorous agreement. "It's really good to have another friend living here."

I can't stay here, Rain thought. I must keep going, because there is still something I must do.

That night they slept only fitfully, both of them too disoriented by the momentous events of the day to rest well (and the fact that their beds were actually tables didn't help much.) Before bidding them good night the older girl Willow had hung up old sheets from the ceiling - one over the window and one between their beds - but it was more for the illusion of privacy than any real cover.

Aught had lain there watching the shifting shadows overhead, the way the sheets wafted and blew in the slightest breeze, and whispered to Rain long into the night. If she had been alone Aught would have been very frightened - but Rain's voice in the darkness, only a few feet in the way, made her feel secure and even a little bit excited, like they were together on some grand adventure.

The threatened rain arrived late that evening, pattering on and off softly throughout the night. The next morning dawned grey and hazy, water dripping endlessly off the downspout outside the window and rising in a mist again from the grasses. It left the new Haibane feeling drowsy and lethargic, and so far all the elder Haibane encouraged them cheerfully to keep resting.

People bustled in and out, chatting to each other and clattering as they pulled tools and baskets out of storage. Then they went away, their footsteps echoing along the hallways and tramping hollowly up the stairwells. For a while the rain stopped long enough to let Frost and Viv take the bikes and go out, and return an hour later strung about with damp bundles. One of these turned out to be clothes, which Viv plopped down in front of them with a cheerful smile, while Frost barreled past the doorway laden down with eggs, milk and bread.

"When you're settled in, we can go down to the town and you can pick out your own clothes from the thrift shop," Viv said. "This is just for the next couple of days. We might could lend you two some of our own stuff, but we didn't have anything at all that would fit those two big guys."

Aught perked up at the mention of these other two, the mysterious Haibane who had been found in cocoons along with them, but Rain was more interested in something else. "What's the town you're talking about?" he said curiously.

"It's called Gurie," Viv replied. "It's the town, well, it's the only place to go in this valley, really. Everyone and everything that's interesting is down in Gurie. We're kind of far away from the middle of everything here, you have to go all the way down the hill and cross the bridge before you even reach the outermost buildings."

"Is the town full of other Haibane, like you guys?" Rain wanted to know. "Like us?"

Viv laughed. "No way! They're all normal humans," she said. "There's only a couple dozen of us Haibane, and most of them live in the other nests - there's a few dozen in the Abandoned Factory downtown, and another group in the Dormitory on the other side of the valley. Those are the only places that Haibane can live."

"Why only those places?" Rain said. It seemed like he would never run out of questions; Aught was content to sit quietly and just listening, absorbing it all.

Viv shrugged, her wings rustling irritably, and made a face that was only half a smile. "It's just one of the rules. There are a lot of stupid rules. You'll get used to them, I guess." She stood up suddenly and whirled around, her short skirt flaring over knee-length leggings. "You two go ahead and get changed, then come down to lunch. I've got to get to work cleaning."

"Cleaning?" Aught asked. "Should we help?" Viv tossed another sunny smile over her shoulder as she went out.

"Cleaning out rooms for the four of you!" she called back. "Can't have you cluttering up the solarium permanently, you know…"

Her voice faded, and Aught sighed sadly. The redheaded girl certainly could liven up a room; when she left, it was like the sun went back under a cloud. Her attention turned to the spare clothes she had brought them; they were drab, in dark brown and dark blue colors, but unquestionably better than the hospital-ish gowns they had worn. She pulled out a faded pale blue blouse, with buttons up the front in the shape of flowers - two of them were missing - and a dark blue skirt.

Holding the clothes to her chest, she looked up and met Rain's eyes - and surprised herself with a fiery blush. "Um…" she stammered. "What should we…"

"I'll just get out of the way here!" Rain jumped to his feet, a matching blush spreading over his face and neck as he snatched the remaining clothes and hurried out.

The clothes were heavy and slightly damp from their trip in the rain, and Aught's hands were slow and clumsy as she did up the fastenings, but she felt better to be dressed and ready to face this new world. New voices echoed back down the corridor as Aught changed, along with a sizzling noise. Aught pulled herself to her feet and crept down the corridor; pulled along by those voices and a delicious smell of eggs and butter.

She came out into a cozy, crowded dining-room that seemed to have taken on some of the tables that had been exiled from the solarium. The wallpaper was a dark brocade, rather poorly lit by a handful of assorted lamps standing at intervals along the walls, but it was hardly visible behind looming ranks of dark bookcases. Lumpy, plush armchairs in various pleasantly ugly colors ringed the room on three sides; the fourth wall opened onto what seemed to be a kitchen.

Rain was there, as were Bubbles and Frost, busy with preparations at one of the long metal tables. A kettle was whistling shrilly to itself on the stove, and a teapot with a thick black handle sent up puffs of steam from the table. A handful of small children, each sporting tiny wings and haloes, chased each other in endless tag around the tables, giggling as they did so.

A young man was folded into one of the lumpy chairs, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped around a mug of dark liquid that sent up puffs of steam into his face. He was pale and he had fair, fine hair that was in a terrible mess about his head, flattened on one side and tangled on the top. He turned bright blue eyes towards Aught as she entered and blinked, then smiled so meltingly that Aught found herself smiling back involuntarily.

"Hello," he said, his voice a soft tenor. He held out one long arm towards her. "I'm Fall. Rain told me all about you. I guess I'm one of your brothers, since I was born here yesterday."

Indeed, like Rain and herself, he also lacked wings. Aught took his hand and shook it solemnly, wondering if she had ever known this man in her former life. She searched inside herself but found no hint of recognition. Well… well, that was all right; it just meant one more reason to be glad, that she could come here and meet everyone for the first time.

"Won't you sit down, Aught? You're still recovering," Rain said anxiously, steering her towards another of the chairs. He handed her a steaming cup, and Aught sipped it and discovered that it was not coffee but tea, strong and black. Her stomach rumbled, and she eyed the kitchen preparations hungrily. Hadn't Viv said something about lunch?

The door opposite rattled, and a large silhouette filled the doorway; he had to actually duck his head down to get through the frame, and his head almost brushed the ceiling. The newcomer had jet black hair and a dusky tan skin; his eyes were a piercing red, and, like the rest of them, he had no halo and wings. This was the fourth, then, the last of the newcomers.

He was also naked from the waist up. Bubbles whirled around and gasped when she saw him, and the little children gave excited shrieks and pelted from the room. They lingered out in the hallway, peeking around the doorway and whispering excitedly to themselves about theGiant! In the library. Aught squeaked a little and clutched her mug of tea, raising it halfway to her face to hide the blush.

"Pyre," Fall said, addressing the newcomer, "you're not decent, which isn't a surprise."

The newcomer - Pyre - glowered at the blond man. "It's not my fault," he said. He held up a bundle of white cloth. "This thing doesn't fit. None of the shirts do."

"Sorry about that," Frost said, brandishing the knife he'd been using to dice potatoes. "It was the best we could do. That was the biggest they had at the thrift store."

Pyre transferred the glower to Frost, who stuck out his tongue impudently before returning to his work. "Well, you're not going to find much of use in a freaking thrift store," he snapped. "Why not just go to a real store?"

"We can't wear new clothes," Bubbles spoke up; she seemed to have recovered from her double-take. "It's one of the rules. We can only wear things that the townsfolk have given away."

Rain looked up, interested in that. "I've been wondering about that," he said. "Viv spoke of some of the rules earlier - she said that the Haibane can only live in some places. What are the rules for? Are the Haibane being punished for something, or something else?"

Bubbles and Frost both looked taken aback by the question. "No, it's not like that," she said, flustered. "I-it's just the way things are. We can only use the things that the humans have made and then cast away - buildings, clothes, things like that."

"So it's a kind of charity?" Rain asked?

"No, no!" Frost shook his head sharply. "We're not supposed to take charity. Ever. We have to use our scrip."

The newcomers looked at each other blankly, so Bubbles explained. "Haibane can't use money, either," she said. "Instead, we're each given notebooks that contain scrip, and we can exchange these at some stores for money. Once you start your own jobs, you'll get a notebook of your own, too."

Aught and the others explained blank looks. "Jobs?" she said.

"Yes, you must," Bubbles said, her thin face unusually serious. "All the Haibane must work. All the ones who are old enough, anyway. We have to earn enough money to support the little ones, as well." She glanced over at the doorway, where giggles and whispers still echoed. "We can't rely on charity."

"Well, that's great," Pyre spoke up, "but in the meantime, I still haven't got anything to wear. Am I supposed to just walk around shirtless or what?"

Fall laughed, stuck out one hand and waggled his fingers. "Well, as much fun as that would be," he said. "Give it here and I'll see what I can do. Bubbles, would you mind fetching me a sewing kit?"

Bubbles scampered away, giggling. Pyre scowled at the blond man, and nearly threw the shirt at his head. Fall snatched it out of the air, still laughing, and set his mug safely aside. He hitched himself to the side, the better to catch the light of the nearest lamp, and spread the white cloth out over his lap. He examined the sleeves and hems intently, then raised both hands and began the sleeves away from the body..

"Hey!" Pyre exclaimed. "It might not fit, but it's the only shirt I've got."

"It'll fit better once I'm done with it," Fall replied, calmly tearing apart the seam from the arm-hole downwards, separating the back and front. "The problem is that it's too tight around the shoulders, correct?"

"Yeah," Pyre said grudgingly. "And I can hardly fit my hand into that sleeve, let alone my whole arm."

"I'll widen the shoulders and redo the seams with more room in the arms. You'll just have to go sleeveless for a while. Hopefully you won't catch a cold," Fall told him. Bubbles reappeared, slightly out of breath, and handed the sewing kit to Fall. He opened it and fished around for a moment, selecting a needle and putting it in his mouth while he pulled loose a length of white thread.

"Fall, you know how to sew already?" Aught exclaimed. His movements were so practiced and assured, Aught envied him.

Fall hesitated for a moment, then continued threading the needle. "Yes, I suppose I do," he said. "Even though I can't quite remember where I learned, I seem to know what to do." He bent his fair head over the shirt, and began applying small, careful stitches along the torn seam.

"Well, that just figures," Pyre remarked caustically. "With a pretty face like yours, I'm not surprised that you'd know a girly skill like sewing. You cook, too?"

Fall snatched the needle out of the white material and threw the shirt back at Pyre's head; the bigger man caught it just before it hit his face. "Well, you can always walk around naked if you'd rather," he snapped back.

"I didn't say I cared!" Pyre protested. "I'm just saying, with that hair of yours -"

"Um - please don't fight…" Aught said in a small voice, but neither of the two men took any notice of her, continuing their argument. She glanced around, looking for help, and came up against Frost's understanding smile.

"It's no big deal," the sandy-haired boy said. "All us Haibane need to learn to sew at least a little bit. You'll pick it up pretty quick, Aught."

"I don't know…" Aught hesitated, feeling lost. Rain glanced over at her in concern. "I… I feel like I don't know how to do anything. Not sewing or cooking, or - I just don't know… anything."

She trailed off, at a loss for the words to describe the strange, empty feeling inside her. Fall's movements as he took the needle and thread had been so practiced, so assured; she envied his easy confidence.

And it wasn't just Fall, either. The way Bubble moved the broom so gracefully across the kitchen, sweeping the tiles clean; the movement of Pyre's hands, when he snatched the missile out of the air, almost faster than the eye could follow. The quick, firm motions of Frost's hands as he chopped the potato… even how Rain could ask questions so easily, effortlessly find the words to frame his thoughts and find the answers he sought.

They all could do so many things. They all knew so many things, and she… she could do nothing. Her hands and feet were slow and clumsy - even dressing herself, walking down the hallway had been so hard. "I don't know anything," she repeated hollowly.

To her surprise, Bubbles nodded as though in agreement. "That's often the way it is," she said. "When the newcomers wake up, and they've forgotten everything about their former life. It was like that for me, too. Until you've made a few new memories to fill in the gaps, it's normal to feel a bit… lost."

"And me," Frost agreed. "To get better, you just have to do things. Don't worry about what you used to know, or about what you don't know - you're starting over, so you have a whole new slate to work with. The more you try things, the better you'll get at everything. Hey!" he exclaimed suddenly. "Why don't we start right now? How about you help us with lunch?"

"Really?" Aught said, startled. "Oh, but I couldn't…"

"We'll show you. Come over here," Frost said, and freed one hand to beckon her over. Hesitantly, Aught slid to her feet and walked over to the kitchen table. Frost hopped off his stool and pulled her down onto it.

"See, it's like this," he said, and put his hands over hers to guide her on the knife. "We're making hash browns for all the kids, so we need to chop these potatoes up really thin. Go slow at first, and take your time…"

"Frost!" Bubbles exclaimed, sounding scandalized. "You're just making the newbies do all your chores for you, so you don't have to!"

"Yeah, so what?" Frost shot back, unrepentant. "All that matters is that it gets done, right, not who does it. And I hate peeling potatoes!"

"Oh!" Bubbles threw an empty eggshell at his head, and Frost ducked it, grinning. "I can't believe how lazy and selfish you are sometimes!"

Suddenly Aught understood; they might act like they were arguing, but in the truth they really did care about each other. This friendly bickering was like a mock-fight, one they used to cover up the truth of how much they cared for each other.

She glanced up at the main room, where Fall and Pyre were still squabbling over the shirt, and smiled in relief. Maybe she didn't need to worry when they fought; maybe this just meant that they were good friends.

The first shirt was finished and on Pyre's back, and lunch was being served - the promised hash browns as well as eggs, sausages and fried mushrooms - when Willow came back. It had started raining again in earnest, dimming the grey light from the library's small windows even further, and Willow's dark hair was plastered in strands to her forehead and neck. All of the other Haibane looked up as she came in.

"I got them," she announced, peeling off her sopping wet coat and shuffling a large box from one arm to the other as she did so. Her wings shook reflexively, shedding drops of rain everywhere. "Sorry it took so long. But with four at once, they didn't have so many ready…"

"Four what?" Aught said, blinking blurrily as she looked up from her plate. The heavy food sat rather uneasily in her stomach after nearly a full day of fasting and - and who knew when she'd eaten before that. She was determined to help them clean up, and learn to wash dishes, she should, she should… but it was hard to hold on to her faltering determination when all she really wanted to do was go back to bed.

Willow didn't answer at first, instead going over to Pyre. "You found one that fits?" she said brightly.

Pyre grunted, hitching his shoulders slightly. The shirt had ended up more like a large tank top, scoop-necked at the collar and with the side seams pulled out and redone. "Sort of," he grumbled.

"With a little adjustment," Fall put in helpfully.

"It looks good," Willow said approvingly. "Although, you might as well have gone ahead and put in slits in the back at the same time."

"What for?" Pyre demanded.

Nobody answered that right away. Willow exchanged glances with Frost and Bubbles. "They haven't come out yet?" she asked.

Both of the younger Haibane shook their heads wordlessly. "We hoped… well, we hoped you'd get back first," Bubbles said apologetically. Frost chipped in "It's kind of a difficult thing to explain…"

Willow turned to look at them. "How are you all feeling?" she asked directly.

"Um, actually…" Aught said hesitantly. "A little… kind of dizzy, and hot. I was going to go lie down some more after lunch, if that's okay…"

"Do you feel kind of sore? Tight in your back?" Willow asked.

Pyre just grimaced. "That's just the damn shirt that doesn't fit," he said.

"It shouldn't be pulling at your back," Fall said, glancing over at the tall man with a frown.

Willow took a deep breath. "It's not the shirt," she said. "Right. Okay, normally I wouldn't want to rush this, but I think it's important to get your haloes fixed on you before anything else."

She set the casket she was carrying on the table and opened it. "Frost, would you run and get Viv for me please?" she said.

"She's cleaning," the little boy objected.

Willow grimaced. "If she actually is, she won't mind the break," she said. "If she's not, then she can make herself useful." Frost nodded, then scampered off. Bubbles crept closer to Willow's elbow, her large eyes shining - no, that shimmering light was reflecting from inside the casket…

Willow reached into the box with a pair of tongs, and lifted a shimmering ring of light free from its interior. She raised her head and looked Aught straight in the eyes, her pale skin turned luminescent from the radiance of the halo. "Fledgling Aught," she said, and her words had a formal, almost ceremonial quality to them. "To serve as a guiding light in thy new life as a Haibane, I gift thee this halo."

"My new…?" Aught said uncertainly. She sat still, unsure what to do with her hands, as Willow lifted the ring above her head and then - let go.

There was a high-pitched, pure ringing sound that - for just a moment - almost reminded Aught of something else. But instead of sinking against her skin, the halo hummed a moment, then quietly sighed, floating a few inches above the crown of her head.

Aught sat very still, terrified to move lest she disturb its balance, as Willow moved around the table, repeating the formal words, changing only the names each time. Very cautiously Aught reached over her head and bumped her fingers against the floating ring. It felt very strange - neither warm nor cold, it seemed the exact temperature of her skin, and… touching it wasn't quite like touching a part of her own body, but when she bumped it a few inches back, her head rocked with it.

Bubbles giggled, trying ineffectively to smother the sound. "It's all right," she said. "You can't hurt it. It's a part of you now. Like ours are a part of us." She grinned and hopped up on the edge of the table, reaching up to tap her own halo. "How does it feel?"

"I - I'm not sure." Aught swallowed. She didn't feel frightened, or hurt in any way, but something about the new halo made her feel deeply disconcerted. It pulled at her, singing a light humming in her ears that ran down the base of her skull and into her spine. Her skin pricked into goosebumps, and she broke out into a cold sweat. A dull ache she'd been feeling all day in her shoulderblades seemed to contract, tightening into pain. "My back -"

Bubbles' smile vanished abruptly, and she turned wide terrified eyes onto Willow. "Willow?" she said in a tight voice.

"What's happening to me?" Aught whispered, wrapping her arms tightly across her chest and hugging herself in an effort to relieve the pressure.

"It's all right," Willow said, projecting a calm, reassuring tone of voice. "This is normal. It's meant to happen. You -"

A low growling sound cut her off, and all eyes in the library turned towards Pyre. He was sitting with his head bowed, shoulders hunched tightly inwards, clutching at handfuls of his black hair. He reached up to yank at the halo, wincing when it pulled his head back. "What did you do to me?" he snarled, and his voice was low and full of pain - and dangerous; the sound of a wounded animal.

He uncurled from his ball in a sudden spasm, and slammed both palms down on the dining table. His lips were drawn back from his teeth in a fierce snarl, and his eyes were wild and unfocused. "You bitch!" he roared. "You poisoned us, didn't you?"

Everyone sprang up from the table; Fall went to Pyre's side, only to stumble backwards, left hand wrapped tight against his right side, as Pyre thrust him violently away. He fell against the bookcase and grabbed at it for support, his long, thin frame sagging against it as his head dipped.

"Willow!" Viv appeared in the library doorway, freckles standing out stark against her pale, terrified face.

"Viv, take Fall to one of the other rooms and take care of him!" Willow yelled, over the noise of Pyre's terrible roaring. "And make sure the little kids stay away! Bubbles, Frost, you stay with them!"

"Right!" Scared but determined, Bubbles leapt forward and took hold of Aught's elbow, pulling her up and towards the other door. The sudden movement of her arms caused a rippling jolt across Aught's back, and she cried out at the pain of it. She caught sight of Viv, leading Fall down the corridor in the other direction.

The next few minutes were a blurred rush of movement; the small hands finally let her down again on the familiar, cool sheets of her bed in the solarium. "It's gonna be okay," Frost's voice came to her, shaky and reassuring. "This is normal. It happened to all of us. It just lasts a little bit - maybe an hour or so - and then it'll be over."

"What's happening?" Rain's voice came from the other side of the sheet curtain, hoarse but determined.

"Your wings," Bubbles said, her voice high and scared, although she was obviously making a determined effort to sound calm and reassuring. "It - um - it always happens for a Haibane after the first day or two. The wings start to grow under the skin, and that causes a fever and achiness, but it doesn't last long. Then - um - it'll hurt a bit when the wingtips break through, but tomorrow morning it'll all be better. I promise."

"You… went through this, too?" Aught whispered, fighting her blurry vision to try to focus on Bubbles' face. The younger girl hovered nervously nearby, reaching out to comb Aught's ragged bangs out of her eyes.

She saw Bubbles nod. "Yes. You'll be okay - I promise. It's a little scary, it hurts a bit, but you'll be fine, you really will. Tomorrow morning you'll be as good as new - and you'll have your wings."

"Wings like yours…" Aught breathed. She tried to draw in a breath, tried to draw in strength. "Then… will I really be a Haibane…?"

From the library came the sound of shouting, Pyre's voice angrily roaring, the crashing noise of metal and wood clattering over onto the floor. Bubbles glanced over in that direction apprehensively, but didn't move.

"What the hell's going on over there?" Viv's voice suddenly demanded from the doorway. "Sounds like they summoned up a flight of demons somehow.

"It sounds like Pyre isn't taking it well," Frost said, his voice subdued and nervous.

"Well, you're not being much help," Viv said, exasperated. "What are you doing? Get their shirts down, give their wings room to come out!"

"I know what I'm supposed to do!" Bubbles snapped, her hands moving shakily over the collar of Aught's shirt. The awful pressure on her back eased a little bit, and she could breathe again. "Aren't you supposed to be staying with Fall?"

Viv shrugged, tossing her curly hair. "He'll be fine," she said. "He just went and sat down on the bed, no trouble at all. What's the worst that could happen?"

Thunder cracked and rumbled, and Fall pulled himself shakily hand over hand against the wall. It was raining harder - the cold drops pelted against his skin, striking his hair and face almost hard enough to stun him - but it was better than being inside. Inside, the air had grown to hot and stagnant, impossible to breathe… and when the red-haired girl had manhandled him into the small bedroom and pushed him to sit on the bed, the walls had seemed to close in on him from every side.

As soon as Viv turned away, drawn to investigate the alarming cacophony from the other end of the wing, Fall had staggered to his feet and slipped out. His pulsing, aching lungs caught a breath of sweet, cool breeze, and he followed it to the end of the stone hallway. There the air was a dark gray, and the rain fell in numbing sheets, drumming and bouncing off the courtyard paving stones.

His head hurt; his whole body seemed to pulse and throb with every beat of his heart. His own heartbeat seemed too fast, too strong, like it would rip out of his chest at any moment. Breathing deeply, Fall staggered a few more steps out into the courtyard. Cold water fell on his head, on his back, stinging and hurting but also making his skin blissfully numb. He couldn't breathe down here. He was trapped. He had to get out. He had to -

Panic overtook him, squeezing his chest and ribs and spine in a vice. He raised his head and saw a tower in front of him, a blurred spire rising up into the darkened, roiling clouds above. If he could just climb that tower, everything would be all right. He knew this, knew it with a bone-deep certainty. He stumbled forwards, leaning heavily on the wall with one hand.

A wrenching pain in his back and shoulders doubled him over; he hung there for a moment, gasping for breath and trying not to vomit on his own feet. There was a ringing in his ears, a tingling in his fingertips; he seemed to hear the voices through the wall, vibrating up through his hand.

"He's gone? What do you mean he's gone?" It was Willow's voice, stressed and frantic and angry. "Damn it, Viv, I told you to look after him! I asked you to do one simple thing! Was that really so hard?"

"I just looked away for a minute!" Viv protested. "You were crashing around -"

"I was taking care of it! I needed you to take care of Fall! And you didn't, and God knows where he's gotten to in this storm! God, Viv! I can't - I have to take care of Pyre and the others. I can't leave them now! How could you let this happen? How am I ever supposed to be able to rely on you -"

"Well, who asked you to?" Viv's voice burst out in a half-hysteric scream. "I never asked you to rely on me! I never asked for any of this. Maybe you like playing housemother and pretending to be everybody's God, but I don't!"

The anger, the recrimination, the pain - it tore at Fall, with deeper claws than the wrenching cramps in his back. He shoved away from the wall and stumbled forward, landing somehow in a deep, chill dampness that stole his breath away. His hot skin felt suddenly cold. He broke out in shivers, wracking shudders that jerked at his muscles and limbs until it was too much too stand, let alone walk; he sank to his knees.

For a moment the spasms receded. Fall drew a breath, lifted his head and looked around. He was in the chapel - he'd been through here once before, in Viv's enthusiastic tour-guide walkthrough earlier today. Through that archway on his left were the spiral stairs leading up to the bell tower.

The tower…

Out. Out. Up. He needed to go up. He needed to reach the top of the tower, find the free air. Fall forced himself forward, driving his uncooperative muscles to behave. He stumbled and barked his shin on the first step of the heavy, cold stone stairs. His vision blurred again, and the panic descended - trapped, he was trapped, cold hard stone on every side, it would crush him bury him suffocate him…

He crawled up the steps, one at a time. It was a feverish nightmare of ascent, each movement of his muscles sending another pulse through his skin. He could feel his skin split, his muscles shredding, bones crack, but he could not stop that frenetic drive to reach the top of the tower.

He reached for the next step up and his hand fell on empty air - he gasped and rolled forward, suddenly surrounded by space again. Rain blew in to splash him again, a sharp sting - although the belfry had a roof, it was no shelter against the blowing wind of the storm. Water rolled warm down his back, down his sides - or was that blood?

Stretching out around him in every direction rolled the thunderclouds, roiling grey and blue and green in an infinite abyss of space. Brief sparks of light lit the clouds from beneath, far away, and then once again nearer.

Another spasm gripped him, harder than any of the rest, and Fall flung out his hands and grabbed hold of the bell's stand for dear life. He bit down, and the taste of blood filled his mouth as his whole body was racked by one -- last -- pull…

A bolt of light struck - not him, but nearby, lighting up the whole world of black and grey clouds in one, searing flash. His wings ripped out of his back at last and unfurled, feathers stretching wide to catch the wings of the storms as Fall screamed.

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