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Through a glass darkly - Long Live The Queen (6/6)
Prompt: Through A Glass Darkly
Parts: [prologue] [chapter 1] [chapter 2] [chapter 3] [chapter 4] [epilogue]
Word count: ~ 28,000
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: violence, blood, terrorism, minor character death, major character death (somehow, but somehow not - it is complicated.)
EPILOGUE
The sun was rising and the neon-lights of Clow were flickering and dying. The city would soon be going to sleep. In the distance, out in the bone-colored desert, black sun sails turned towards the light, screeching like pained animals as the sand of decades ground in their hinges.
Half a year after the coronation of Child Queen Sakura, due to the relationships entertained by former King Touya from his exile as well as internal efforts from sides of a strong power in the underground left unnamed, the cogs of political change were slowly grinding onwards. Civil war was still a risk, but the probability had been lowered by far. Xiang was keeping to his own borders and fighting with internal conflicts, unable to attack Clow as it was.
Syaoran Li was nation-wide known as the hero to have rescued the former Princess single-handedly from one of the greatest act of terrorism in modern history, and pictures of him blushing profusely as he was personally thanked by the Queen were still circulated in the newspapers and on the internet.
Sometimes, Kurogane leafed through history books, half-expecting the name “Fei Wong Reed” to stand out to him in a place where it hadn’t been before, but it never did. And the one time he had asked Yuuko for it, he had told him that this was an information that he could not pay for, even if he sold his whole, shabby apartment.
Kurogane leaned in a corridor, his back pressed to a wall of glass – tall, isolated windows like these were a luxury in a city that got so hot you could not step outside two hours past sunrise. He and Syaoran were waiting in front of the biggest auditorium of the University of Clow.
The clock stood five to the 1st hour of morning, and students of the late night presentation streamed out of the room, filling the hallways campus with chattering and laughter. Kurogane pushed off the wall, searching the crowd with his eyes. It took a few minutes for the students to clear out, before he carefully stepped through the open door and into the room. Syaoran was following him like a shadow. Kurogane had the distinct feeling that for all that he hadn’t told the boy, Syaoran had a pretty good idea of what had happened between him and Fai.
Far down, in front of a sprawling screen, the professor stood. A handful of students had gathered around him, asking questions that he answered with a smile and great patience. A small bubble of normalcy seemed to surround them, the safety of the well-educated middle class that Kurogane had never felt. Kurogane watched the scene with detachment, like an audience watching a play.
As the last of the students left, Kurogane slowly made his way down, brushing past the girl that hurried in the opposite direction. He never took his eyes of the figure at the front. As he was busy shutting off the computers and the beamer, he only lifted his gaze far enough to meet Kurogane’s eyes when he was on the last few steps.
“Hello, there,” Yuui said with a smile, leaning against the desk. “A new student of mine?”
“Not really,” Kurogane said, stopping before he entered the circle with the desk in the middle. “But I have once known someone like you.”
Yuui looked at him, again, and his face changed almost immediately with the dawning recognition.
Kurogane stayed where he was, not daring to step down onto the stage, his heart hammering. After half a year, he would not have thought that he had missed him so much. The eyes, the slender build, the way the left corner of his mouth pulled up a bit higher than the right one when he was smiling. He was prepared to meet an entirely different person – one without the experiences at war, without the trauma of recent loss, someone who was, if not content then at least mostly satisfied with his life, with the normal problems of a normal man. Whom he met was a younger Fai, but someone who very clearly still was the same man.
He would not have thought that it would hurt this much. He had almost forgotten that Fai and Yuui were not two entities he could separate that easily, and the lines were beginning to blur. He felt dizzy.
“It’s you,” Yuui breathed, eyes wide and disbelieving. “I had almost thought I was going insane.”
“He – you – wanted us to meet. I didn’t manage, before now,” Kurogane said. It sounded like a weak excuse even to his own ears. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, I have to admit... it was almost surreal, when I found the recordings, the logs, everything filmed from the point of view of someone I might have become,” Yuui covered his mouth with a hand. He looked Kurogane up and down with a peculiar look. “You and me, we were-“
“Yeah,” Kurogane cut him off, throwing a look over his shoulder at Syaoran. The boy had a big, slightly embarrassed grin painted on his face. “Yeah, we were.”
Syaoran cleared his throat behind him.
“Syaoran Li,” he introduced himself and stepped – after one short glance at Kurogane – onto the slightly elevated stage. “I’m glad to meet you, again.”
“Glad to meet you, as well, Syaoran,” Yuui smiled. He seemed to still be swimming, out of his depth. Syaoran was trying his best to make it easier, Kurogane realized. “Glad to meet the both of you, though it certainly is a surprise.”
“Wipe that lying grin off your face,” Kurogane bit out in annoyance. Yuui laughed aloud at him in surprise.
“It’s just... weird,” Yuui admitted helplessly. He seemed more like Fai when he threw his arms up in the air, lines of confusion appearing on his face. “It feels like we have gone through a lot, together, when truly, we haven’t.”
“Yeah, I get it,” Kurogane said. He stood in silence on the steps, considering whether to take the last step down. He knew he would have to, immediately. He could not run away. “It might have been a mistake to come here-“
The look of hurt that flashed over Yuui’s face cut off his words more effectively than words could have.
“Please,” Yuui said, taking a step closer. “Let’s at least talk this through. Let me at least find out that I’m not a complete nutjob,” he said.
“Can’t promise things that won’t happen,” Kurogane shot back. Yuui took a moment to get it was a joke, then let out a long, relieved huff of held breath. There was silent laughter in his eyes, and something in Kurogane’s chest swelled, making it hard to breath. He was sure that Fai would have never been able to wear that kind of carefree look. Not after years of peace. It was as though meeting someone he had never met, before, and yet understanding the person he had come to love for a very short episode of time better.
Fai’s eyes had been mirrors. Yuui’s were the clear sky, still free of the damage that had embittered Fai so.
“How about we grab a cup of coffee,” he said, seeming calmer, more in control. “I think there is a lot of weirdness to get over, between the three of us and that crazy story I have on a data chip.”
“I think I might excuse myself from that conversation,” Syaoran deadpanned. “I have homework to do.”
“Brat,” Kurogane murmured, but was secretly glad for it. There was something in Yuui’s eyes that had not been in Fai’s, and that he was not entirely sure he was ready to find out about. But he was pulled into the circle of his presence. Fai had wanted them to meet, he reminded himself. He had grieved, he had gotten on with his life, he had been back in the mill. He had found that he didn’t want to spend his life without meeting this person, once more. He could not turn his back on this one chance of meeting him, face to face.
He finally took the last few steps into the circle of Yuui’s presence, pulling one hand out of the pocket so his trousers in order to shake his hand.
“Coffee, then,” he agreed. “And after that, I think we have a time machine left to destroy.”
The answering grin on Yuui’s face, warm, delighted and a bit reckless, was enough to tell Kurogane that he was making the right decision.
~the end.
Thank you for reading! How did I do?
Please score my fic according to these guidelines:
1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10)
2. How well did this fic fulfill the prompt? (1-10)
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
Remember that you must provide some form of identification (a link to a blog or profile on another site will suffice) for your vote to be counted!
no subject
1. How in-character was this fic?
Well IC! Fai had his reasons for going into a deadly mission...because he did it over and over. I can't imagine how tired he must be (and when that timeline Fai died, no ;______;). But you know, in canon TRC, Fai had a lot of strength to keep on trying, even if his wish was futile and he was so damn fatalistic. Your Fai here was spot on. Kurogane was wonderful here too - just not really living until he found a person and cause to fight for. Their interactions and dynamics were well developed.
2. How well did this fic fulfill the prompt?
Creative...and rather tragic. I got references to glasses based on the construction of post-apocalyptic Clow; and crucial scenes when Kurogane sees Fai's true face through the mirrors. I like how you explained that Yuui's eyes were real, while Fai's were glassy from being so jaded every time jump. Sometimes I felt those ties were weak in some parts of the story, but overall it was there~
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall?
I love it! The history, the setting, taking time to reveal characters' past through flashbacks and dreams. The only thing that I felt lacking was taking time to show what happened to Xing Huo, since she was an important, compassionate person to so many women and children, and how she joined Xiang. Another was FWR. I like how you had him wish to meet Yuuko (and how he wasn't really a sinister guy, LOL), but well I guess he was seen as a threat, but wasn't really...but would be if he went to the past. A bit sticky there. Still, a beautiful story, and a hopeful ending for everyone.
10
8
9
Avg: 9
no subject
Even while writing this fic, I realized it was not the fic that I had been trying to write - this is always a humbling experience, but also a good hint as to what parts of my writing need to be improved. Thank you so much for being such a help, picking through it! :D (MORE SO AS THE FIC TURNED INTO SUCH A MONSTER. o_____o)
About the prompt - realizing that I was unable and unwilling to work with the words "glass," directly, I tried to write a fic in which the "darkened glass" would play an important role - things that are not what they appear to be, or that reflect their surroundings until you look closely. The thing I learned trying to achieve this: PRACTICE IS A GOOD THING, DO NOT EXPECT TO GET GREAT RESULTS BY WRITING ONCE A YEAR. All in all, I think I learned a lot, which is always good, even when this fic itself was my "darkened glass" that I could not see through. :p
Thanks a lot, again, for all the effort and kind words that went into the feedback - it is dearly appreciated! :D ♥♥♥
no subject
Ooh yeah, I did catch those as well. (We always seem to be discussing about prompts, LOL, but they are really subjective to those who write it and those who read it and interpret it o.O) When I took a shower after leaving my scores, I then remembered, those time machines fit the prompt too!
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There were a few typos but regarding the amount of words and the time pressure, that can happen and didn't disturb the Lesevergnügen at all. (Apparently I'm talking Denglisch now XD)
It was well-paced and the attraction between Kurogane and Fai was believable - which is usually a tricky thing when the events in the fic have a rather short time frame, but you pulled t off so well. Yuuko was fabulous, the time travel asoect was cool AND I LOVE THE ENDING And Kurogane's emotional confusion over Yuui/Fai and I was literally petting my laptop screen because of the pretty.
It's a good thing I'm not allowed to vote because I'd give you all of the points.
Also Syaoran's role in the story was beautiful to read because he is willing to do so much without ever expecting something in return and I had FEELS.
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Bahahah, I'm always amused by the fact that many ESL speakers often catch typos faster than natives - I've been editing this thing from 9pm to 6am the next morning, I'm pretty sure there is a LOT of half-assed writing slipped my tired eyes. XD
Thank you very, very much for reading this monsterfic, and especially for your lovely, kind comment. It is deeply appreciated and loved all over. :D ♥♥♥
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I think the characters were spot on. Fai, incredibly strong and tragic, never giving up, and totally badass, but still gentle and empathetic, even more because of what he's seen. Kurogane was great too, arguing with Yuuko like that (the one about him having an extra blender to pay as price was perfect). Sorata! He's just perfect, I tend to forget how much I love him, so it's nice to see him! Syaoran was perfect too, incredibly determined, and willing to sacrifice anything for a girl who didn't even know he existed.
2. How well did this fic fulfill the prompt? 8
This was a difficult prompt, since it can be taken quite literally or in a more subjective way, I guess? I didn't know exactly how you interpreted it in the fic, but now I've seen your comment on the glass and it makes sense, the difference between Fai's and Yuui's eyes.
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 9
I liked this fic, it had an interesting world and story, interesting way of presenting it (just the prologue left me "wow").
Fei Wang Reed wasn't the bad guy! I don't think I've ever seen a fic where he isn't, when he appears, and that's a nice change, though I felt his appearence was a bit abrupt.
I got a bit confused over the timelines stuff, but maybe it was distraction and I missed some important thing? Or maybe I just made the stuff in my head more complicated, or maybe I'm just dumb. x_x
I felt so sorry for Kurogane when Fai disappeared, but the ending was great. Aaah, it just leaves us imagining all sorts of fluffy scenarios for those two. Also, when Yuui discovered the stuff about Fai's mission. I wonder how I'd feel if I were in his situation. :o
no subject
You picked out some of the problems that I did see in this fic, as well, and it's really helpful to have them reflected back by a reader - thanks for taking the time to do that, after slugging through this monster of a fic! :D
Apart from that, I'm superhappy to hear of the parts that you liked in it! The positive resonance is honestly appreciated! :DD (I'm never sure how well which parts translate until someone tells me. XD)
Again, thank you so much for your kind rating, the awesome feedback and the helpful critique! :DDD
!!Warning: Monster explanation below, in case you're interested in the timeline thing!!
You're definitely not dumb - the timelines were messy business, and in hindsight I would have had to tell this story from Fai's POV to have them make an impact instead of being a distraction. :p Assumption is: there are no parallel universes, just one ever changing stream of time that Fai (Yuui of the year 120) travels back through. He records in real time all that is happening from the day he arrives in 109 to the day the Princess is killed, then dies in the explosion. Yuui (of 109) finds the records, watches them, realizes he will have to try again to prevent the war from happening, rinse and repeat.
After the explosion was stopped and the princess saved, Yuui of 109 would have had no reason to change his name, repair the time machine, and travel back in time - thus Fai (of 120, caught in 109) vanished in a desperate try of the universe to clean that fucking mess up.
My mind tells me that it would not work this way. On the other hand, I could not deal with having 20 Fais running around in 109 trying to stop the war and constantly bumping into each other/Yuui's particles being absorbed into Fai as Fai travelled back, because there is not way that one body can parallely exist in the two place at the same time (because wtf)/and so on. XD;
ALL MY LOVE! :D
SPOILERS (cause some people might read comments before reading full story)
I have to admit I am still trying to figure out the time loop paradox. I'm guessing this is the thing where we aren't sure how it start since in the first timeline, Yuui already found an anonymous note with records from another Fai (somehow...) then goes back in time.
EDIT: oh I think I got it!
109 - Sakura is assassinated. The civil war erupts and for ten agonizing years people suffer. In 120 Yuui/Fai tries hard to help out...but then realizes he can go back in time. He is back in 109 and hides from the other Yuui, while recording everything to a) ensure Yuui can try again in case he fails and b) to keep dual existences going on.
Now that makes a lot more sense. /dances/
Re: SPOILERS (cause some people might read comments before reading full story)
This was a bitch to figure out, sorry for not making it any clearer. XD
The thing is, I've never mentioned Yuui's involvement with the government in depth. For example, the government has been putting a lot of manpower into research of ancient machinery, before, because they were convinced that some of those were weapons they could use. Yuui has been on the team almost by mistake - why would they need someone specializing on time paradoxons, if they did not even know what the machine was good for when they started researching?
Yuui basically has started to concentrate on the workings of time/parallel universes/etc., trying to figure out how to travel back in time, as he has spent most of his days wondering "what if Fai hadn't died, back then - what if I could have saved him."
After the civil war - and then the war with Xiang - broke out, the government put all science projects that weren't directly connected to warfare to a hold. Yuui was forced to work in weapon developments, and thus got into contact with the machine. However, when they in finally, around 119, did figure out what it could do, the government pretty much had lost interest in the project - meaning, they had mostly fled the country and left Clow to be overrun by Xiang's forces.
In 120, after preparing the mission and switching to calling himself Fai, he travels back to 109, trying to prevent this all from happening - but does not manage to figure out in time how to save the princess. The moment Fai realizes he's going to die trying, he leaves records (bought in 109 in the hope that the time paradoxon will not eat them) of it in a safe place and contacts his former self - Yuui - anonymously in order to show him where to find the records.
Fai dies in 109 in the explosion, Yuui finds the records and runs with them. From there on, the same plot plays out over and over again, the records getting more and more detailled as alternate versions of Fai add more material to it in order to help the next Yuui find a way to prevent the event from happening.
...I basically raised a one-man army of Fais in order to spit on Kyle. BUT HE ONLY DID MANAGE AFTER CONTACTING KUROGANE. And then only because FWR helped.
I'm running with the assumption that there are no parallel universes existed next to each other (if only for the sake of drama), and that the universe has a pretty good self-healing power - small changes in the timeline will be evened out, big changes disturb the universe so much that it's almost impossible to invoke them. Fai is trying to swim up a waterfall, here. Until he brought in Kurogane, and through his continued travelling back in time created an anomaly on the day of the coronation in 109 so heavy, that Fei Wong could find it from thousands of years in the future.
And HE is powerful a being that he can twist the streams of time, despite all. (He's totally an alien.) He just directed the whole play so that they would not destroy the bomb too early, but on the day when the time-space continuum was the thinnest, as different Fais had vanished on that day multiple times, already, and thus left something like a path in the fabric of space time. Thing is, they would never have managed to stop Sakura's death if not for FWR's intervention. :p
Neither Kyle not FWR were the true enemy, here, it was the inevitability of fate, itself. HAH.
... after typing that all out, I have come to the conclusion that Kurogane, who knew nothing at all, was probably the wrong POV to tell the story from. YOU ALWAYS KNOW MORE, AFTER. XD;
Re: SPOILERS (cause some people might read comments before reading full story)
So many Fais ahah, that must've been a pain to write! You have my admiration for it!
Maybe Fai could've explained the whole thing better, so Kurogane would understand, but hey, it was great! And Kuro-tan is an awesome POV so don't fret!!
Re: SPOILERS (cause some people might read comments before reading full story)
Re: SPOILERS (cause some people might read comments before reading full story)
no subject
This ending was great, Kurogane and Yuui get to meet and start over :D Kurogane will always miss the Fai that he knew, but he's not fully gone. And Syaoran really needs to meet with Sakura, if only so that he can stop being so obsessive.
This world you've built, the world of Clow, just feels so real, so intense and so simmeringly hot... it really does feel like a powderkeg on the edge of blowing up. Especially with those brief glimpses into the future and the past of this timeline -- and how different and better they were (or, in the case of Yuui's future, much worse.) All three are in the future of our own world, of course, so much so that the cycle of technology has risen and fallen and risen again.
Brilliant, BRILLIANT fic! :D
no subject
Thank you so, so much! :DDDD You don't know how much it means to me that you won a positive impression of this fic - I was incredibly nervous about it. It's also super-hard to tell from the inside what actually comes across and what stays complicated and in the dark to the reader.
Syaoran and Sakura are definitely going to hit it off, the moment Sakura has a bit off-duty time - which will still take a moment, but she has noticed him, which is enough. It's fate, I believe. (Either that, or Yuuko. :p I don't know whether it was mentioned in more than a throw-away reference, but Yuuko has ties to the crown and usually her fingers in ALL the pies of Clow. :3)
Despite all the trouble it caused me, in the end this world has grown on me... I'm glad I managed to get a bit of that across~ ♥♥♥
Thanks so much for reading and your wonderful comment - you're the best! :D ♥♥♥
no subject
1. How in-character was this fic? 10
The thing I love about AUs is imagining how the characters would react differently in different settings. Their pasts and their motives shaped them, and yet the dialogue and actions could very well be canon.
2. How well did this fic fulfill the prompt? 9
I definitely see how this fic was inspired by the prompt.
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 9
Half part enthralled - half part distracted in the beginning. Once the time machine (Egg) was excavated, I pretty much was sold. And then I was crushed by the cruel twist of events.
Me: It's a time machine isn't it?
Me: Please let it be a time machine!
Me: Come on time travel.
Me: It definitely is a time machine XP
Me: Whoo! Time Machine!
Me: Fai is a timetraveler... and everything hurts. ;__;
no subject
(The beginning sure was distracted. There were a few things too many going on. I'M GLAD I GOT YOU AFTER THAT, THOUGH. :DDD)
TIME MACHINES FOR THE WIN! \o/ There was a moment I considered having Fai/Yuui travel back in time, over and over, trying to save his brother from dying... But another subplot would have smashed this fic, entirely and I made myself stop. ;;; I'm still happy I could surprise you in at least one aspect! *gives you Mokona band-aids to put over hurt*
Again, thanks for being awesome and taking time to read and comment~! *super happy face* :DD
no subject
I love Kurogane's mixed feelings about Yuui in the end. It's so natural and vivid and twists me all up inside because I don't know whether to be happy that Yuui has a chance to be happy with this man or sad that Kurogane will never again see that "original" completely broken and jagged version that he loved first.
Um...so...were the ocular cameras recording THE WHOLE TIME? >///>
no subject
I do think that Kurogane will miss exactly those hurt and jarring parts that the pre-war version of Yuui doesn't have - but at the same time, I'm not sure that post-war Yuui would ever have been able to move past what he'd lived through. :x I can't say whether this was for the best - in the end, post-war Yuui had been so broken and lost so much that he had never even intended to keep living, or he wouldn't have gone on this mission, after all...
...the ocular camera TOTALLY was on the whole time. >.> (That was the part that Yuui was at first the most embarrassed to find when he got his hands on the recording, and then the one he replayed the most. Curiosity is a strong motivator, okay. :3 )
no subject
I thought the fic was extremely in character. To often to authors toss aside characterization in the face of large complicated plots and I happy to say I did not see that here! Great Job!
I think your prompt in general was very vague thus leaving it very open to interpretation. I think the way you utilized it in reference to the differences between Yuui and Fai was done very lovely and overall very creative.
Overall I enjoyed this fic immensely once I figured out the world they were in. At the beginning I was constantly having to adjust my mental picture of how the city was constructed which throws somebody like me off while reading. It in no way hindered the finer point of the story but it was enough to stick out in my mind.
Scores:
10!
10!
9!
no subject
For one, I'm happy to hear of the parts you enjoyed - it feels like a long time since I've last written KuroFai, and I'm relieved to hear I'm not completely out of practice.
I will definitely keep in mind what you said about the world-building - I'm glad you're being straight with me, here, because I myself have felt that I was trying to tell too much at once and wondered how well the world would get across. It's helpful to know how you perceived it, and it makes me want to try to shape the next world I'm building more clearly from the beginning! :D
THANK YOU A TON, for your wonderful review as well as for your kind score! :DDD *happy* *not entirely sure she deserves it, but HAPPY* You honestly brightened my day, here! ♥♥♥
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9
10
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I'm glad to read out of your score that you enjoyed the fic! :3
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AND IF YOU TRY TO ARGUE I WILL BUST OUT THE TROUT OF GREAT JUSTICE AND PUT A WHOOPIN DOWN ON YOUR ASS SO HARD AND FAST YOU'LL FORGET YOUR ARGUMENT. SO NEEEEEEER.
I want to vote, because I want to give you all 10s.
I do think your timeloops worked just fine >.> Time travel is just tricky, but I thought you were pretty clear about it.
ALSO. Your prompt O_O I'm not even going to lie, I had to go look up what the phrase was referring to (because lol church I haven't done that in years) and I kept wondering how you were going to pull it off. And then BAM. It was perfect with the recordings/eyes metaphor. PERFECT.
And so you don't think I'm lying to you, here is...concrit? :P I think I would like to see more of Yuui in this. You could sneakily work in some scenes of his daily life, with allusions to his brother (maybe he talks to him in his head of something) to really show how lonely he was and to give a baseline of how much all the horrors he's seen over the years have changed him. But I'm reaching. XD Because I really loved it the way it is and any suggestions I have to make it better are just me playing "what if" in my head <3<3<3<3
YOU ARE THE BEST :-*
no subject
I am so glad you don't think it was horrible... I'm just an anxious heap whenever I'm making someone read my fic (especially when there are THIS MANY WORDS), because... of reasons... *DUCKS THE TROUT* *PULLS OUT KRAKEN SHIELD* *ENGAGES EPIC SEA MONSTER BATTLE*
I'M GLAD YOU THOUGHT THE PROMPT GOT ACROSS! :D I really wantedt to fill "Through a glass darkly" with a more lyrical OR at least a more fitting center of the story, but I'd be lying if I told you I knew what I was doing half the time of writing this. >.> NEXT TIME, I TELL YOU, NEXT TIME.
You know, about Yuui - this is pretty much EXACTLY what I would have liked to put in more of; I was CRAVING to have a Fai POV in this to go deeper into the history of Yuui, as well, but... doing the outline, I figured it'd take another 20k to get that down in a proper balance to what Kurogane is doing, for I didn't want to work it in sporadically, either. This is one of the reasons I'm feeling that this fic is a bit unbalanced - Kurogane's narration is basically missing a counterpart. XD BELATEDLY I REALIZE THAT HE COULD HAVE FIT SNIPPETS IN IN BETWEEN SCENES. OH WELL. *hands*
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING THIS AWESOME! :D I know I can be a handful when writing and posting and then, uhm, dripping angst all over your shoes, so. Thanks for being such a giant, brilliant support, not only with your review but also during the time of writing! You're amazing and I LOVE YOU SO, SO MUCH!! *HUGS YOU THE TIGHTEST*
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/HUGS LIKE VICEGRIP
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Gosh, this is fantastic. Time machines and civil wars and politics and and hologram-thing!Yuuko and. And the setting is amazing and interesting and XIANG HUO just came across brilliantly in this? Understandably, I mean. I mean, I don't really know what I mean, but it seemed very her. As did Kurogane attempting to pawn off a blender to Yuuko, because REALLY, Kurogane. A blender. And the moons and the radiation and -
You just constructed this beautifully detailed plot and put it in an interesting setting, and paced it out BEAUTIFULLY. This is an absolute gem of a fic.
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I never know whether to be embarrassed or happy if you praise me, because your fic is always so, so amazing... >////< *goes with a mishmash of both for the evening*
I'm soo glad there were things you liked about it! :DDD (Yuuko would probably have sold that blender for good profit. After finding out it was cursed, too. :3 ) The pacing AND the amounts of politics and history involved in this worried me a lot - especially in how one influenced the other - I'M REALLY GLAD YOU THOUGHT THOSE CAME OUT OKAY! >////<
Also, also, I'm really happy you liked Xing Huo? While writing, I realized she had many more layers than I tend to see of her, and I really enjoyed peeling a few of those away, even when it was an AU!version of her. :3
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS CRAZY LONG FIC, AND COMMENTING, AND GENERALLY FOR BEING AS AWESOME AS YOU ARE! :DD ♥♥♥
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I think you know how fantastic this fic is, considering all the readers have basically fallen at your feet in a heap of amazement and awe, and I'm definitely falling into that heap too, love. This is just. Gawd. I kinda wanna see you rewrite this into a novel, because it's fucking FANTASTIC and the world needs more excellent timetravel novels, but on the other hand I want it to stay KuroFai forever because, uh, amggggg it's just amazing and I want this fandom to hoard it like a precious, precious thing. Because it totally is.
The imagery was so powerful, the city this hot, glassy, dirty beast of a ruin, and Yuuko just popped off the screen she was so well-constructed. God, the poster with the orange trees in Kurogane's apartment and the taste of oranges in his mouth... ah, that was way more affecting than it had any right to be and yet. I am sort of crying a little, but not exactly sad tears; because Fai died and it was heartbreaking, but there is Yuui, and his eyes are unclouded and there is hope and I just. Flail myself into an incoherent mess when I think about it.
I am sad I waited this long to read this, but also happy, because if I had rushed to read this when the olymfics first started being posted I think I wouldn't have enjoyed it so much, just because I couldn't take my time with it.
It's perfect and lovely and you're perfect and lovely, and I'm so happy you wrote for the olympics. ♥
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1. How in-character was this fic? 9/10
In all honesty, I thought Fai was a bit off in the first chapter. I see him as glowing with happiness and merriment all the time; not letting his problems show outwardly, and withdrawing when his facade falls. To see a candid him right from the start--with the stress of having something huge on his shoulders (though I didn't know how huge... I thought maybe a dark past? Certainly not the fate of the country/world) on his face for the whole world's viewing. Eh, not to say that that was a bad thing. Maybe I'm just biased with my love for anything Fai, but I readily accepted his character then and fell quickly in love.
But his odd character got explained and gosh that was marvelous. <3
2. How well did this fic fulfill the prompt? 9/10
Okay, at first, I had absolutely no idea what the heck the prompt was even asking. It seemed so vague. @_@ I had noooo idea what to expect. Even now, I'm only comprehending it slightly better than a few hours ago (slow reader okay ;_;). I'm doubtful if I'm understanding it the way the prompter intended. That's the only thing keeping me from shooting this with a big fat 10.
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? 10/10
Waaaay too good. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too good. How you managed to think this up without your brain exploding is beyond me. And like I mentioned in a comment a few chapters down: how you made this complex thing make actual sense is graaaand <3
Ergh. Rustic/dystopian futures might be the best thing ever. Right next to that might be domesticity because I'm waaaay too interested in how your fic's Yuui and Kurogane go about with their daily life (and dates eeep <3).
One thing's bugging me though... The origin of the time machine escapes me. Sorry if you've already mentioned it //orz My memory's not to be trusted. :(
Anyways, I hope I'm doing this voting thing correctly. @_@
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First of all, a big, huge thank you for reading this monster of a fic - it's goddamn intimidating, even looking at it as the author. XD You're doing AWESOME with the voting, no worries, and, once more, THANK YOU SO MUCH for scoring so kindly. >////< ♥
1. It's true, my picture of Fai has changed a lot throughout the different fics and AUs I have been reading (and sometimes writing) - how would he have changed without Ashura by his side, how would he have developed losing his brother later, how desperate could he get if he ever met Kurogane at the point of time that was the hardest on him? If I had been the one to read this fic after only just finishing the manga, I think I would have been thrown off a bit, as well.
*ponders* If you felt like more fic AFTER this, you should go look at shachaai's entry, she's one to portray Fai in a very light, emotional, yet very accurate way - it feels a lot like the manga. :3 (Plus, she is one of the most marvellous writers in the fandom, and I can't rec her enough. :33)
2. I admit, this prompt is one that you can interpret in a TON of ways - which is probably why so many books carry its name. XD It's mainly about love and human nature, I think, but tbh I also believe that I never reached the bottom of its meaning while writing, either - no wonder the readers are confused, as well. :p Thanks for being honest, yet kind~! :3 ♥
3. AND A BIG HUGE THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAISE ON THIS ONE! :D
Ahah, Yuui and Kurogane are going to have a lot of confusion to work through before growing entirely comfortable with each other - Fai is still at the forefront of Kurogane's mind, and the ways in which Yuui is too similar yet too different is causing a dissonance. Still, there is a strong feeling of connection and nostalgia on Kurogane's part that draws him in, and a weirdly intimate curiosity on Yuui's, after knowing what has happened between his future self and Kurogane. :p
There will be tears, and stargazing, and a romantic date of blowing up a time machine (Syaoran will cry a bit), and also, they will drive up to the poles and to the plantations where Kurogane has lived as a child, partly because Kurogane never visited the grave of his parents. Yuui is officially against moving in too early, but somehow barely sleeps at home, either. He also ends up cooking all the time (and having sex in the kitchen, because hellyesdomesticsmut) even as he keeps complaining that Kurogane's kitchen is completely insufficient. :p It's a love story like any other, I guess - they need time and someday, they'll realize they have found each other. XD :3
RIGHT, ABOUT THE TIME MACHINE - I think I mentioned it, somewhere, but it might have been a fleeting reference. This world is Tokyo long after the Acid Tokyo of the manga. Sometime - before Acid Toyko or after, I never decided - there has been an age of high technology. Scientists in this universe assume that humankind managed to wipe themselves and almost any other living things out in through an accident or, more likely, war. Either way, fact is that all that remains of that age are the dead machines. Yuui's group of scientists, researching them throughout the Civil War (and later the Xiang/World War), are the first to get one of the machines working, again. So, the answer is that the machines are relicts from an almost-forgotten past. :3
(As for FWR - a few centuries or even millenia from Yuui's timeline, a lot of the knowledge has been rediscovered. Time machines are banned from use, though. But hey. Upon seeing a machine that can TRAVEL TIME AND SPACE in a museum, who WOULDN'T be tempted to steal it? >.>)
THERE, LOOK AT ME RAMBLING AGAIN! *obvsly never shuts up* XDD All I really MEANT to say is: I'm super glad you enjoyed it! Thank you a ton, your comment made me grin like a loon! :DDb
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(Anonymous) 2013-04-24 07:08 pm (UTC)(link)Honestly, this was amazingly well put together. Of course Yuuko is an AI hologram who’s been there since the beginning of time, of course Syaoran would fight and risk all for Sakura, regardless whether she knows of him (his line about not needing Sakura to even know of his existence was just remarkably selfless and Syaoran) and of course Fai would try and fail and try again. When Fai died, it was almost a relief. He was so tired and sad.
I think you handled Kurogane’s emotions about the Fai/Yuui situation very well too. It might be weird and unfair, but I do sometimes feel a knee-jerk resentment when a beloved character is “replaced”. But here I didn’t feel that Fai was “replaced” or that Yuui was a “replacement”, because that isn’t what Kurogane wants either (the fact he himself objected so vehemently at the thought of replacing Fai, did a lot to reassure me).
There is truly almost nothing I didn’t love about this story. It really felt like that these are the characters we know and love fighting and finding hope in the midst of so much heartbreak and misery. I am going to believe that they all will be happy (especially Kurogane and Yuui, with each other).
10
9
10
duchessa at lj, busy-old-fool at tumblr
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-1 because of young Fai, time-traveller Fai was absolutely in character in my opinion: bearing that big responsibility all alone, dying alone multiple times. I shed a few tears at that certain scene, so you absolutely got me.
2. How well did this fic fulfill the prompt? (9)
I associated it with the time machine, and the recordings through a glass, darkly...
3. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (10)
:O I loved it!
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I was hooked 3 paragraphs into the prologue. Your pacing was fantastic, and as always the artistic vision you bring to the writing process sucked me right in and let me "see" the world so clearly.
I don't even know what to say. This is completely beautiful. The plot is amazing, the world-building was great, I LOVED WHAT YOU DID WITH YUUKO AND FWR HOLY SHIT HAVE ALL MY LOVE, WOMAN. I wish you would re-write with original characters so I could buy copies in the store and shove them at my friends and scream "READ THIS." My feelings are out of control. Syaoran in this fic is just so... SYAORAN-ISH. He's perfect. And I can't even, with Fai. I literally cannot even. Time travel hurts me, every time, and this time was no exception. His loneliness and feeling so disconnected from his younger self, just. Ahhhh, it hurts. I am cry.
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Really, very exciting read, brilliant how you used FWR, not quite a good guy but a surprising ally at then end there. And Syaoran got to meet Sakura!! And now will be friends with Kurogane and Fai. None of them are orphan kids anymore, they have each other.