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Entry tags:
(Team Sci Fi) [Cafe] Flip the Tables
Title: Flip the Tables
Prompt: [Cafe]
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Summary: Fai never expected to find himself playing a café-themed, rom-com game as part of his job. He never expected to find a sword-wielding character in that type of game either, but this was apparently a day for surprises.
Notes: Even though this is a last-minute sub for the café theme, I had a great deal of fun writing it. Massive thanks to Cloverfield for beta-ing.
( Flip the Tables )
Thank you for reading! How did I do?
Please score my fic according to these guidelines:
1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? (1-10)
2. How well written was the fic? (1-10)
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
Please remember that you must provide some form of identification, either by logging into dreamwidth, or by providing a link to a blog or profile on another site, for your vote to be counted!
10, would recommend
1. 8
I love this entirely. The only reason that's my score is because it felt like the cafe wasn't that essential... like it could have been any other cute place like a bar or bookstore and the story could still go on? But I love the way you used the cafe in the story. A cafe VR game , that's sounds so fun.
2. 9
Oh man, I'd love to see more of this AU. It's set up so nicely.
3. 10, would recommend.
Re: 10, would recommend
And I completely agree about the cafe not being crucial - I realized that when I finished writing it.
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2. 8
3. 9
I greatly enjoyed reading this! It was fun and cute and I was engaged, wondering where indeed Kurogane had come from! And Tomoyo's appearance gave me a giggle. Very enjoyable story :)
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Fai groaned and threw himself down on the floor, ignoring the waitress’ confusion as he slumped at her feet.
“Sir?” She leaned over him, clutching a menu to her generous bosom. “Sir, you may find the booth more comfortable.”
“I beg to differ. This floor is exceptionally comfortable.”
FAI YOU ARE SUCH A JERK. LET THE POOR MAID-PROGRAM DO HER JOB, GAWD. XD
1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? 9/10
You know how much I love this concept here; I thought it was a really, really clever way of introducing a cafe in a sci fi context to have it be a virtual cafe, born digital and made entirely of code. And while you probably could have set the fight somewhere else, you really took the setting and ran with it. I loved how the cafe's environment became such a part of the story; how even if it wasn't real, it felt real in its shape and description, and how the fight went down. And who doesn't love a good old-fashioned UST-filled fight sprawling over coffee tables and making use of the coffee shop paraphernalia floating around? XD
2. How well written was the fic? 9/10
This caught me up the first time I read it, and it's still the same here; it's fun and fast and action-packed, which is what you want in a fic like this, and while it's short, it's bloody brilliant how much excitement you pack into such a short length. I did not find this lacking at all, and the only thing I could ask for would be for more. Considering you whipped this up as an emergency sub, it's even more impressive, and don't even get me started on how that fight scene sizzles with the promise of action. And yes, I meant exactly what you think I meant. *eyebrows*
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 10/10
Fai stared. “You thought this was a new fighting game?”
“You thought I was part of a café storyline.” Kurogane countered.
I WOULD PLAY THIS GAME, ESPECIALLY IF IT HAD KUROGANE IN IT. Yukito totally knew what he was seating Fai up for, I swear it, and Tomoyo you are such an enabler. I loved every single, lovely minute of this fic, 10/10, would buy virtual coffee again and leave a tip. ;D
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That poor maid-program. The code behind her was just going, "Fuck fuck fuckfuckfuck, what do we dooooo?!?!"
Also, I'm super glad you think the fighting scenes came out well cause I really struggle with that and it's always like pulling teeth. When I realized, as I was working out the plot, that it was going to center around a fight, I had a moment of panic that I wouldn't be able to pull it off.
(I would totally play a cafe fighting game too, and yes, I completely believe that Yukito and Tomoyo are in cahoots. The jerks....but I think Kurogane and Fai will forgive them. Eventually. You know, after they get Yukito back by setting him and Touya up...oh, that's a good thought for another story)
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It's a very, very cute and funny way to use the prompt. I think, the idea of the game in the cafe is funny but at the same time I don't think that che cafè stands up in the fic. It's not the... main theme? It's the only thing that I can say, 'cause the idea is quite original! ( and fun of course )
2. How well written was the fic? 10/10
Your style is simple and clean just like the fic, I really enjoyed the way that the fic flows. No mistakes, it's a piece of art like a little portrait or a bunch of fresh flowers, amazing!
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 9/10
AAAH this fic is kinda cute and simple, I really liked it! I liked of a "cafe-game" and the idea of the game in general, but the moment when i laughed loud was when... well.
Kurogane shrugged. “It was 10 o’clock.”
“And?”
“I always use this platform at 10 o’clock.”
Only for this I'll love this fic like forever.
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And I completely agree about the cafe thing not being the main theme. I was writing away and didn't realize until I got done, and I sent it to Cloverfield with a note of "OH NO, THIS IS NOT REALLY A FIT FOR THE THEME." So, yeah. I'm with you on that.
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WELL, having most of the plot happen in a cafe surely is a good way to fill that prompt, but I think what makes it really attractive is the straying away from a very literal interpretation - so relying on a virtual cafe makes it much more interesting. I really loved this virtual reality gaming aspect, the fic is perfectly timed for the current E3 hype too, although that may be a coincidence.
2. How well written was the fic? - 9
No mistakes and it was so much fun. I jut had a bit of a trouble picturing all the details of the fight scene, but the rest was a delight.
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? - 10
This fic was such a treat, from the blatantly oblivious flirting to the details that went into the game-aspect of it (such as pointing out that there were no baking supplies, I used to watch let's plays of dating sims, this is a common mistake that is being made). Aaaaah, this was nice and short and I love them being childish dorks during the last paragraph. A+ would read again
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Ohh, I'm glad you liked it enough that you'd be willing to read it again :D I couldn't resist making them act like childish dorks because...well...they are pretty much the epitome of childish dorks sometimes.
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I loved the concept of this fic!
2) 8/10
Extremely well written.
3) 9/10
Loved it!
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1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? 8
I was kinda wondering how could someone write a sci-fi thing with a cafe? But it's probably because I'm not creative enough. You clearly are, though, I would never guess it would be like this! I just felt that in the end the whole fighting in a real cafe was a bit forced, as if you were trying to make it real clear that the theme was a cafe(Idk if I'm making sense, sorry x/). Though it's funny to imagine the chaos they caused xD. I also really liked the gaming stuff, I'd love it if one day we could have such realistic stuff and actually feel inside of the game when playing it.
2. How well written was the fic? 10
“Sir?” She leaned over him, clutching a menu to her generous bosom. “Sir, you may find the booth more comfortable.”
“I beg to differ. This floor is exceptionally comfortable.
You won me over with this. THE SASS IS STRONG IN THIS ONE!! I just loved Fai's inner dialogue and I thought the writing was really good!
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 9
I wish there was more of this! Because I really liked the concept and Fai was so cool. I love sassy Fai. I also loved to see Yukito in there, he was just his usual adorable but teasing self, just like Tomoyo (maybe they did it on purpose?). Even though you probably had to rush a bit on this because you were a sub this was really nice! :D Congrats!
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I love me some sassy Fai too! I just couldn't resist it in this. :D
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10/10
Very well, and uniquely so! I loved the sci-fi twist with virtual gaming and making the cafe the platform! So cool.
2. How well written was the fic?
10/10
I thought it was all great! The characters stayed in character; no grammatical errors that I noticed while reading; the story flowed and made sense throughout. All good.
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall?
9/10
A good bit! I was daydreaming up so many fun scenarios for the end of that fic XD
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I ADORED THIS
9
interesting how you moved out to a real life cafe like setting!
2. How well written was the fic? (1-10)
10
really kept me guessing! the sexual tension was a m a z i n g, and fai's characterization was very unique, refreshing, and realistic.
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
10
i read this while layinh in bed, so i may have rolled around and squealed a few times. (eeeeeee)
Re: I ADORED THIS
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I loved the way you decided to incorporate the sci-fi into the story by using a virtual cafe. I only feel that the cafe was not really the focus of the story. It worked, of course, but I felt that they really could have been in any similar setting and the story could have unfolded more or less in the same way. Near the end, I feel you had an opportunity to bring the cafe prompt in again but kinda missed it. I could not help but think Fai should have invited Kurogane to Clover Cafe. Even so, the mental image of them throwing things around in a cafe (virtual or otherwise) is not something I will soon forget.
How well written was the fic? 10
The story was short but flowed along very nicely. The world you created (both real and virtual) was very descriptive and clever. I loved how you managed to bring out a more sassy side of Fai and how you managed to portray his inner thoughts. That poor virtual waitress. Though I probably would have done the same as him if only to attempt to poke the program until it broke out of sheer boredom.
How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 9.5
I really liked the concept and, while I think you could have done more, it was still a great little story. Along with Fai’s attitude, I loved how you also managed to get Yukito and Tomoyo scheming in there too. It is so very them to have a relationship based on throwing things at each other, that I couldn't help but laugh. So thank you for supplying me with those wonderful mental images.
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Good use of Cafe for the prompt but I would have like to have seen the sci-fi element come out a bit more.
2. How well written was the fic? 9/10
Very well written and I liked the concept and the character interactions you created.
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 9/10
Very enjoyable. Would read again
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You nailed this. What is more sci-fy that a virtual cafe? I like it.
2. How well written was the fic? 8,5/10
Well, English is not my first language so i'm not going to comment on the grammar because hypocrisy. What i'm going to say is that it has a good and funny narrative which i really enjoyed.
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 9-10
This was an hilarious and very enjoyable trip from start to finish. Good Job.
I almost feel bad for the virtual waitress, what do you do with a client that ignores you and just lies on the floor? And I think that Kurogane spend the whole time thinking "What a weird fight game"
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2. 9! I'm not sure if it's on my end because I'm slightly exhausted, but there were a few parts where I lost track of what was going on. (I'm pretty sure this is me though, to be honest?)
3. 10 -- I loved it I would love to see more of this. I love virtual reality and you've got a lot of cool things to work with here.
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2. How well written was the fic? 10
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 10
Oh man, I loved this! I mean, what a meet-cute. This is one of the lighter sci-fi entries I've read - both sweet and action-packed. I'd love our gaming technology to reflect this sci-fi some day in the future; I would totally play that dating sim, especially if one of the options was a grumpy sword fighter! Honestly, this is a very creative merging of both genre and prompt, and created something I've never seen before. The pacing was perfect, it flowed smoothly, and was well-written on a sentence-to-sentence level as well. Fai's narration won me over at the first sentence and remained consistent throughout. The little crossovers (Piffle Princess, Yukito, the Clover bar) were a delightful extra. The world was fleshed-out, the characterisations were spot-on; I was utterly engaged throughout. Gosh, I'm still grinning. Thank you for writing this!
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1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? 10/10
I really do think that a virtual reality spin was the perfect way to give this a sci-fi edge! The clash of genres between a romcom simulator and a fighting game was hilarious.
2. 2. How well written was the fic? 8/10
As I've said, it had a very clean and precise feel to it - everything was very much in place, and your descriptions were efficient but also immersive.
3. How much did I enjoy the fic? 9/10
It made me giggle out loud tbh! The image of Fai using weaponised cocktail umbrellas is amazing.