![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
(Team Sci Fi) [Soulmate] The Soulmate Project
Prompt: Soulmate
Summary: When Fai’s brother is killed, and he is dragged into the resistance movement Yuui had been a part of, his life as a programmer at InfoTech is shattered. Now hidden away in a safe house with one companion, a surly ex-medical student named Kurogane, Fai has to decide to help his former company, run by the only family he has left, or these new rebels.
Rated: T
Warnings: Brief surgery scene:
Notes: I got the idea for this from reading an article about the Apple Watch, combined with the words 'artificial soulmates' from my roommate Rémy (username-goes-here most places) when I was beginning to plot. I also owe her much for beta-ing, and telling me when things didn't make sense (as happened a lot) and forever checking my spellling. Thank you darling! I'm VERY excited to be posting in this great community of fans, and also to be a part of this contest! Thank you!:
Read More on Ao3
Thank you for reading! How did I do? Please score my fic according to these guidelines:
1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? (1-10)
2. How well written was the fic? (1-10)
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? (1-10) Please remember that you must provide some form of identification, either by logging into dreamwidth, or by providing a link to a blog or profile on another site, for your vote to be counted!
no subject
Kurogane, the man who’d grabbed his throat, leaned down and lifted up his chin to look him in the eyes.
“The world is shit. What else do you need to know?”
1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? 8/10
I really liked how you subverted the prompt here; how a 'soulmate' can't be found through technology or data or matched up by machines. It was a really clever way to handle the prompt, and I liked how your concept of 'artificial soulmates' shone through the plot with the watches.
This whole story felt very sci-fi, to me- speculative fiction has long been used as a means to warn people about technology and how the things that are supposed to make our lives more convienent can make it more dangerous as well. How Ashura was using the data the watches collected and selling it on for nefarious purposes, where Fai had originally intended it to be used to help people who were lonely, was an amazing example of that, and it made me empathise with Fai's despair at knowing something he designed to help people was used to wrong them.
2. How well written was the fic? 8/10
I was seriously on the edge of my seat through the whole thing, as as events kept unfolding -Yuui's death, the nightclub, the chase scenes, the surgery, the slow and quiet life hiding away and then the climactic battle- I found myself reading faster and faster. I couldn't wait to find out what happened next, and the pace was really good. I especially found the quieter, relationship-building moments where Fai was exploring the abandoned store to be very atmospheric. I noticed a few spelling and grammar hiccups here and there, but it didn't detract in any way from my enjoyment of the fic- you did an amazing job!
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 8/10
I loved this from start to finish! It was so exciting, and I really felt for Fai and his pain at having something he'd created with the best of intentions manipulated so badly. Also, having Rondart meet a bad end was satisfying, as always. I hate that guy! XD I'm so happy you wrote this, and I enjoyed every minute of it!
no subject
Well! Your fic fit the prompt incredibly well, and the take on the prompt was so innovative and different. It was really refreshing!
How well written was the fic? 9/10
This was very well written, no noticable mistakes and a well thought out plot and form.
How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 9/10
I loved this! From the plot down to the tiny details I was hooked!
27/30
no subject
8/10
Soulmate was definitely an overarching theme in the story and played out well throughout, but the connection of Fai and Kurogane being soulmates themselves was a bit underwhelming, I felt.
2.How well written was the fic.
9/10
No complaints here. I didn't stumble while reading or get confused. It flowed well to me.
3. How much did I enjoy the fic overall?
10/10
Very much! I read the chapters separately throughout the day and it took me a couple of hours collectively to finish reading, which I enjoyed. Due to the brake in reading, I was thinking about it the whole time before I had time to read again, and that always gives me a good feeling about a story.
nice!
8
The scifi bit especially - took modern day ideas and fears and played then out. I feel that the soulmate part got a bit lost at times though.
2. How well written was the fic? (1-10)
8
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
7
no subject
This certainly was a spin to the soulmate trope that I hadn't quite expected, but it was so very credible, especially because it's relevant to modern day issues such as the increasing amount of surveillance technology and data misuse.
2. How well written was the fic? - 9
There were a few letters and sometimes words missing but considering a fic with that length (36k holy shit) that's understandable. Most importantly, the writing had a nice flow and so it was easy to get into it. Nice job!
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? - 8
The parallels to canon were really cool and generally well done but just at some points you may have tried a bit too much? Because some scenes stuck out without being able to fully explain it, it was kind of a matter of not really matching the general mood like when Fai started giving Kurogane nicknames, I felt like it was a tad too soon for that and felt like out of the left field.
The science fiction component was really neat, up to the point of Fai whining about having to use outdated technology, I also loved details like the VHS getting a revival which makes no sense from a technological point but I imagine i was nostalgia-driven. (Like those hair bands that started trending that look like phone cables - they don't really work better than normal hair bands but god do they look nice and god do I feel old but I bought some anyway because of the aesthetic).
Most of the science was plausible, except for the part with the vibrations because although the concept of stimulating the nerve system is possible, one could only use it to trigger responses that the human metabolism is designed for, so it would be able to supply the body with vitamins... only if the body can produce them by itself (which rules out all the essential ones). I'm sorry if I'm nitpicky, I really love science and am a terrible smartass. It didn't really put a damper on the story, I just got all squinty.
I would have wished for a bit more world-building though, especially when it comes to the mentioned levels, it was hinted that they also have a social significance? I would have lked to find out more about that.
Beautiful!
I didn't expect at all this kind of use for the prompt. It quite surprised me in a good way, because it's... original! I really liked the use of the prompt, I think it fitted just like a fancy costume... not very comfortable but funny and enjoyable throught all the fic.
2. How well written was the fic? 9.5/10
There are some little mistakes -probably skipped or for the keyboard- like missing letters, but it was very well written. It's fluid -I can say that? LOL- and your stile is very cool, it sticks me against the monitor for all the time!
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 10/10
I can say just a thing: this is one for the most beautiful KuroFay -notporncoffcoff- that I've ever read, I enjoyed this so so so much, right in the favs in a blink of an eye!
no subject
2. 8/10
3. 8/10
I really enjoyed this fic! It was engaging and kept me coming back during the stolen moments I had throughout the day, until I finally got to read chapter two all at once when I got home.
no subject
I didn't expect this kind of use for the prompt, and I liked it! through is not a full 10/10, because, even if the whole story is based on the Soulmate project, and It's Fay's project life, I missed the feeling of "soulmate" in the simplest (or romantic) form. (The connection between Kurogane and Fay as soulmate was missing.)
2. How well written was the fic? 9/10
It was very well written! It's fluid and I was stick against the monitor all the time, great narrative rhythm, and every scene was enjoyable!
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 9/10
I enjoyed it very much, and I liked the canon parallels! ^w^
no subject
I very much liked the idea of using technology to find a "soulmate". While your story did not really convey what I (personally) think of when the word soulmate comes up, I think in the context of a sci-fi prompt what you did was very creative. I can’t help think it is also a tad frightening as I can totally see it as something that could happen in the future, especially the way we are currently treating technology. The downside is that I felt the soulmate connection between Fai and Kurogane to be a bit lacking, it only really seemed to be mentioned at the end. Though I can’t help but think it may have been mentioned at the beginning when Yuui wanted to set Fai up with someone he knows that’s “really handsome” and whom he thinks Fai will love.
How well written was the fic? 8
There were a few grammar errors (understandable considering the length of your story) but they were not substantial enough to be truly bothersome or distract me from reading. You managed to cover a wide range of situations in a really short amount of time. Romance, drama, angst, action, you name it you had it! It was almost like a movie. While you put a lot in, it was not chaotic and everything flowed well.
How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 7
I think the story was very enjoyable. The concept you came up with was both clever and terrifying in its potential reality in our own future. The one real drawback for me was how you seemed to draw so much from cannon in certain areas. I am on the fence as to whether I should be impressed by how you were able to tie in cannon elements or a bit frustrated that you did not come up with something unique to put a bit more of your own touch on things.
For the record, I cannot decide if my favorite line of the story should be "The world is shit. What else do you need to know?" or "You’re a noodle, I don’t think you could even be in the same room as badass."
no subject
I didn't expect it to be like this using the prompt "soulmate" and it was really original. I find it very fitting in a Sci Fi story.
2. How well written was the fic? 9/10
There were some little errors but nothing troublesome and can be fixed in 5 minutes. It was really nice written, fluid, and it made you feel tense, sad, excited, MORE TENSE and I couldn't stop reading it.
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 10/10
THAT WAS A ROLLER COASTER
It was so exciting from start to finish! I was wailing and screaming every five minutes and now my sister thinks I have problems. I loved the idea and how you developed it. Even though it's said in the summary that Yuui dies it was really heartbreaking to read, with Fai hiding under the desk like a child and finding out about the files in Yuui's watch! I particularly loved the scene of the rebelion meeting with Fai pretending to be Yuui. Or the surgery scene! Really, this was so thrilling and I loved it, thanks for writing it.
no subject
It was an out of the box approach to the prompt for Soulmates, taking the fate and destiny out of it to be artificial and constructed. It was a really interesting concept which I really enjoyed
2. How well written was the fic? 9/10
There were a few spelling errors here and there, but it was over all really well-written. For a two part story, the pacing was really good.
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 10/10
I loved it! Like so much! I can't stop thinking about this universe you've created, like how it came to be this way? What technological advances were made in this world and when. Is it like this for everyone, or just this country/city? I also definitely have some concerns in me now whenever I see the iwatch and stuff. Let's just... not..
You are wonderful and I loved this!
no subject
It incorporated both 'Sci-Fi' and 'Soulmate' very well indeed, though the latter may have been used in a way that wasn't expected. Even if the focus of 'soulmate' wasn't the relation between Kurogane and Fai, it was an overarching prompt that constantly shadowed our protagonists, and was utilized in a unique way. Very enjoyable.
How well written was the fic? - (9)
It was clean and easy to read, with only enough mistakes to be occasionally noticeable, not enough to be distracting.
Overall, it flowed well, but there were a few cases in which that rhythm was interrupted. Most notably where those cases in which you attempted to draw a parallel with cannon. In the case of nicknames, they started, stopped, and then started again far too quickly to have the desired effect. It was an awkward transition and didn't quite seem to fit.
Despite that, it had a good beginning, climax, and conclusion. It ended on a somewhat fulfilling note while still leaving it open for the rest of the rebel adventures to continue in reader's imaginations.
How much did I enjoy this fic overall? - (9)
I was very impressed by this. It was one of those engaging fanfics you start reading later than you should and end up regretting it, because you know you can't stop until the end.
Still, there were some things that I felt were left too open. For example, I would've liked to know if that person Yuui mentioned to Fai at the beginning was Kurogane. I would've also liked to hear something mentioned about what they'd do when Fai's code was cracked. Would they have to create another solution by then? Have another raid on Ashura's office?
no subject
(Anonymous) 2015-07-03 02:07 pm (UTC)(link)It fit pretty well, giving the soul mate prompt a refreshing twist. I feel like it doesn't totally fit the prompt anyway, because they aren't actual soulmates but for me thats it's a good thing anyway.
2. How well written was the fic? 8,5/10
Well, I don't have much voice on the subject because English is not my mothertongue but this fic in my opinion was very well written. It got a really good rhythm and didn't fail in having me at the edge of my seat while reading.
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 9-10
I really enjoyed that fic. A good story with good themes and plot.
http://www.imtoolazytodoanything.tumblr.com
no subject
2. How well written was the fic? 7
3. How much did I enjoy this fic overall? 8
'Artificial soulmates' was a neat twist of the prompt, and fit well with the genre. I certainly didn't expect modern-day concerns such as invasive surveillance to crop up because of the prompt, but with your execution the many concepts gelled together seamlessly. I loved the slow build of the KuroFai relationship in this fic, which is especially important to me in soulmate-themed fics. Some of the worldbuilding felt a bit crammed in, and there were occasions where characters just infodumped to Fai; this took me out of the story and made certain things seem manufactured instead of an organic series of events. I also felt that some things could be expanded on: Ashura, for instance, felt more like a sketch of a cartoony villain than a real character, and in a world where having an implant which uploads all your personal data is utterly normalised, it was unrealistic to me that so many people came to the conclusion that people have access to all that information is evil. I guess I didn't see enough of people developing their own ideas and questioning to really buy the whole resistance aspect.
Overall, though, it was still a firmly enjoyable read. I zoomed through it, impatient to read more. This was a really good sci-fi story, which incorporated elements of worldbuilding into both the story and the themes instead of just being a setting; the idea that love is still an intrinsically human thing and can't be controlled by technology was lovely to read about. The lack of themes such as fate and destiny that often accompany the soulmate trope was also refreshing. Thank you for writing!
no subject
1. How well did this fic fit the prompt? 9/10
"Soulmates" isn't usually a concept I personally enjoy unless it's been super well fleshed out? But I ended up really loving the sci-fi spin you put on it - you wove it into the world of ruthless corporations and morally dubious science with a lot of dexterity and verve, and I loved how you used it to examine questions of choice, which is super thematically relevant to canon and to what makes kurofai such a great ship.
2. 2. How well written was the fic? 7/10
Like I said, I think this fic's strong point is its pacing - I find it really hard to manage such long narratives, so I'm in awe of people who can sustain them! I do feel that the ending was a little rushed, but that's mostly because I would have liked even more interaction in the closing scene!
3. How much did I enjoy the fic? 8/10
Again, I really enjoyed how you took a concept I'm usually a bit wary of and made it fresh and exciting! I had a lot of fun reading this!