Headcanon ficathon!

[reikah]

Well, it's been a while since the Olympics, so I thought I'd throw this here as a fun community event (don't worry, this isn't the summer challenge/contest, I'm still ironing that out).

Welcome to the Kurofai headcanon meme!

What is a headcanon? A headcanon, for those of you not familiar with the terminology, is "An idea, belief, or aspect of a story that is not mentioned in the media itself, but is accepted by either the reader themselves or the fandom in general. If it is confirmed by the author of the story, it becomes canon." (Thanks, urban dictionary!) Examples might include 'Fai has terrible metabolism, his feet get very cold' or 'one of Mokona's 108 techniques is Vibrate Mode' or anything else you feel is true but never confirmed in the text. Not all headcanons are worksafe.

How it works:

You leave a comment with one of your Kurofai headcanons. You can do so signed into a dreamwidth account or anonymously, for those of you without dreamwidth accounts/with embarrassing headcanons.

Someone else will write a short story based around your headcanon, and post it as a reply to you.

In short, it works a lot like clampkink - but for headcanons rather than kinks!

Anonymous commenting is enabled, but you do not need to post headcanons/stories anonymously if you don't want to. I'm also going to go ahead and label this post NOT WORKSAFE preemptively, so please be careful browsing where your computer access is monitored! Stories can be as long and short as you like, and as SFW/NSFW as you feel like, or, if you prefer, you can fill with fanart instead - both are excellent. For our rules on threesomes or moresomes, check the comm rules in our profiles.

That's all the nitty-gritty out of the way - now let's go ahead and share some headcanons!

Filled Headcanons
Fai's hands hurt after the tower - filled by cloverfield
Holitsuba!Fai gives Kurogane finger puppets to help him teach sex ed - filled by Anon
Fai always could use chopsticks - he just pretended not to as part of his harmless idiot act - filled by eijentu
Fai doesn't like to sleep alone - filled by Anon
Tomoyo hand-stitched Fai's furisode herself - filled by ereshkigali
Fai is disappointed to be alive after Outo - filled by farenmaddox
Kurogane is an absolute SAP - filled by zelinxia
When Fai began to suspect what was going on with Ashura, he evacuated the survivors of Ceres to another world, which the travelers then encounter during their journey - filled by Anon
Kurogane forced Fai to feed the first time in Infinity - filled by farenmaddox
Kuro-sama likes being tied up - filled by cloverfield
Yama & Outo - Kurogane realises he's fallen for Fai - filled by rinoa11
Kurogane had a crush on an older ninja who acted like Fai, who died - filled by zelinxia
Kurogane is really bad in bed the first time - filled by tsubasafan
BB!Fai remained friends with the little freckled girl from Ceres - being filled by farenmaddox
Kurogane expresses his love in subtle ways ("the moon is beautiful tonight," touching just the edge of Fay's sleeve, etc) - filled by zelinxia
Post-series, Fai needs to hear Kurogane's heartbeat to reassure himself his happiness isn't a dream - filled by uakari
Fai - real Fai, the one that died - was the older twin - filled by anon
Fai - real Fai, the one that died - was the older twin - filled by farenmaddox
Fai feels guilt over Kurogane's scars, and Kurogane thinks he needs to keep them hidden from Fai - filled by ereshkigali
Kurogane and Fai get married/bonded before the xxxHolic epilogue - filled by caffeine_buzz
Fai starred in a porn film during the group's travels & had fun - filled by misskirichan
Kuro-papa survived minus an arm and has been roaming dimensions looking for his son - filled by anon
Holitsuba - Yuuko & Fay have had sex before - filled by misskirichan
Holitsuba!Kurogane, Fai, and Yuui are all in a mutually satisfying relationship - filled by misskirichan
Holitsuba!Kurogane is the first person who hasn't been jealous of Fai and Yuui's closeness - filled by kittenkin
Kurogane prefers it when Fai tops - filled by xwittychickx
Fai feels guilt over Kurogane's scars, and Kurogane thinks he needs to keep them hidden from Fai - filled by sotongsotong
Kurogane is an absolute SAP - filled by anon
BB!Fai remained friends with the little freckled girl from Ceres - filled by anon
Kurogane forced Fai to feed the first time in Infinity - filled by sotongsotong

Unfilled Headcanons
Kurogane's father trained him the way Kurogane trained Syaoran.
Kurogane had a case of performance anxiety before he and Fai had sex the first time.
Kurogane is a virgin. Fay is not.
Kurogane takes particular notice of how Fai smells. Fai changes soap and Kurogane has to work up the courage to ask him to change it back.
Fai starts to experience some of Sakura's memories after C!Syaoran stores her feathers in his eye.
Fai and Yuui were born on a national holiday; this is considered an ill omen for Valeria
Kurogane accidentally kills his father during the fall of Suwa
Kurogane & Fai resettle Suwa post-series, and Kurogane grows his hair out like his father
Kurogane has a well-worn notebook filled with terrible poetry. Fai enjoys flipping through the pages and trying to guess which world each was written in.
Holitsuba - Kurogane and Fai keep tracking of whose on top with different coloured condoms. Fai steals Kurogane's in order to top more.
Fai slept around in Ceres (with men and women), but Kurogane is his first steady significant other.
Holitsuba!Kurogane hums to himself when he's in a good mood.
Fai is a creature composed out of magic, rather than human.
Kurogane's conscience sounds A LOT like Tomoyo.
Kurogane was devastated by Fai's 'good morning, Kurogane'.
Post-Clow arc: When Sakura and Syaoran went into the tube o'doom, they left their bodies as empty shells on the floor. Touya found them, and moved them into a long-term care wing at a hospital; waiting for their souls to come home again.
Fai is musically gifted, and every song he plays represents a specific memory/event from his life. Kurogane comes to realize this without Fai knowing it.
Kurogane is the worst boyfriend ever.
The other dimensional versions of Chi, Hideki and the twins live happily.
Fai was a virgin until he met Kurogane because Ashura-ou had some non-fatherly feelings towards him and though he couldn't openly have Fai he could stop others from even thinking of approaching Fai, and none dared to oppose the king.
Fai is uncomfortable with the Japanese way of bathing where everyone just strips naked and soak together.
Fai knew that he would live much longer than Kurogane and while traveling with Tsubasa!Shaoran has been trying to find a way for Kurogane and him to share the same lifespan.
Kurogane is loud in bed.
Kurogane and Fai shared a tent in Yama; Fai felt dirty after being assaulted by soldiers and begged Kurogane to clean him. They had sex regularly after that.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

"Do you like them?"

"..."

"I thought your students might find it better if they had more approachable and friendly figures for their introduction to the mechanics of sex. Kuro-tan-sensei is very good at what he does -"

"I - what - idiot, this isn't about the, the, the mechanics! This is just - explaining what goes where!"

A pat on the shoulder. "And big gruff teacher is very good at putting things where. But if he can't say the word 'penis' without blushing, what hope is there for his students?"

"I - I can say it, it's just, I thought - I thought this was the biology department's business, or the nurse, or - whatever! Tch! I can do it!"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"So when little Sakura-chan looks at you with her huge eyes misty with curiosity and says - and says 'is it true you can get pregnant from sitting on a toilet seat a boy has peed on -' Hah! You've gone bright red~!"

"Shut up!"

"Uwaaah~ Yuui, Kuro-blush-sensei is burning up!"

"... Do you really need to discuss this in the staff room, Fai?"

"Idiot! I have a lesson plan. Stop waving that... thing around!"

"Kuro-mean! This is Mr Bigglesworth, he's here to help you educate your class. Here, you can pull this felt aside, and voila, it's a penis!"

"Why would you make that."

"To help you, Kuro-ungrateful! Look, here's Mrs Bigglesworth, with her breasts all bouncing. I thought you might need her too because, well, I don't think poor Kuro-naive has ever handled breasts -"

"STOP saying that word, you moron!"

"Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreassssssts! And here's David, he's the Bigglesworth family chauffeur and he's having a torrid affair with Mr Bigglesworth. I decided to give him syphilis because obviously one must educate in all areas of sexual health -"

"How do you even know that that looks like?"

"Hmmm~"

"For fuck's sake."

"Hmm~!"

"Is that - is that a bag? How many of these did you make?"

"Thirty six. There's a cast. Now, I'll run you through them - aside from the Bigglesworths and their chauffeur, there's also Dr H, name blurred to protect identity, who treats the entire cast for their various STIs and who is engaged in a soda-masochistic relationship with both Rosalie and Matsumoto here -"

"... When did you even find the time to make this stupid shit, you idiot?"

"I make them in class!"

"... Help."

[eijentu]

oh my god, babe

i am actually dead

i can't

I THINK I LOST IT COMPLETELY AT MR BIGGLESWORTH????

THIS IS SO PERFECT I LITERALLY DON'T EVEN HAVE WORDS I AM JUST MAKING INCOHERENT SOBBING SOUNDS

kurogane is the most unimpressed ever when he walks into class and finds his blackboard turned into an elaborate set complete with bedroom and adjoining doctor's office :x

[bottan]

AHAHAHAHAHAH

OMG, MR. BIGGLESWORTH. XDDD I think the students can be glad that they do not have Fai for Sex Ed - it would be a disaster.

*wipes tears of laughter*

[cloverfield]

OMFG ITS LIKE DOWNTOWN ABBEY WITH SEX PUPPETS

/crying with laughter

[ereshkigali]

so this is my favourite thing ever

[mikkeneko]

DED FROM LAFF

SEND HALP

[farenmaddox]

HI I LOVE YOU

This just about had me in tears. Thirty six cast members, OMFG, Fai you are the most darling person in all creation.

[kittenkin]

OMG I'm fucking crying. I want sex ed props made of needled felt now.

[uakari]

oh my fucking god

hats off to you my friend

this is officially my favorite crack

ever

[reikah]

:3~

[tsubasafan]

ffffffffffff OH GOD.

[reikah]

lmao 'soda-masochistic relationship' never trust spellcheck, kids

HARDER, PEPSI, GIVE IT TO DR PEPPER GOOD

[misskirichan]

Oh my god I could not stop laughing. This was perfect and fantastic and TOTALLY what Kurogane would do.

I would love to be there while Fai explains the other thirty three. ;)

Again, absolutely loved this!