Headcanon ficathon!

[reikah]

Well, it's been a while since the Olympics, so I thought I'd throw this here as a fun community event (don't worry, this isn't the summer challenge/contest, I'm still ironing that out).

Welcome to the Kurofai headcanon meme!

What is a headcanon? A headcanon, for those of you not familiar with the terminology, is "An idea, belief, or aspect of a story that is not mentioned in the media itself, but is accepted by either the reader themselves or the fandom in general. If it is confirmed by the author of the story, it becomes canon." (Thanks, urban dictionary!) Examples might include 'Fai has terrible metabolism, his feet get very cold' or 'one of Mokona's 108 techniques is Vibrate Mode' or anything else you feel is true but never confirmed in the text. Not all headcanons are worksafe.

How it works:

You leave a comment with one of your Kurofai headcanons. You can do so signed into a dreamwidth account or anonymously, for those of you without dreamwidth accounts/with embarrassing headcanons.

Someone else will write a short story based around your headcanon, and post it as a reply to you.

In short, it works a lot like clampkink - but for headcanons rather than kinks!

Anonymous commenting is enabled, but you do not need to post headcanons/stories anonymously if you don't want to. I'm also going to go ahead and label this post NOT WORKSAFE preemptively, so please be careful browsing where your computer access is monitored! Stories can be as long and short as you like, and as SFW/NSFW as you feel like, or, if you prefer, you can fill with fanart instead - both are excellent. For our rules on threesomes or moresomes, check the comm rules in our profiles.

That's all the nitty-gritty out of the way - now let's go ahead and share some headcanons!

Filled Headcanons
Fai's hands hurt after the tower - filled by cloverfield
Holitsuba!Fai gives Kurogane finger puppets to help him teach sex ed - filled by Anon
Fai always could use chopsticks - he just pretended not to as part of his harmless idiot act - filled by eijentu
Fai doesn't like to sleep alone - filled by Anon
Tomoyo hand-stitched Fai's furisode herself - filled by ereshkigali
Fai is disappointed to be alive after Outo - filled by farenmaddox
Kurogane is an absolute SAP - filled by zelinxia
When Fai began to suspect what was going on with Ashura, he evacuated the survivors of Ceres to another world, which the travelers then encounter during their journey - filled by Anon
Kurogane forced Fai to feed the first time in Infinity - filled by farenmaddox
Kuro-sama likes being tied up - filled by cloverfield
Yama & Outo - Kurogane realises he's fallen for Fai - filled by rinoa11
Kurogane had a crush on an older ninja who acted like Fai, who died - filled by zelinxia
Kurogane is really bad in bed the first time - filled by tsubasafan
BB!Fai remained friends with the little freckled girl from Ceres - being filled by farenmaddox
Kurogane expresses his love in subtle ways ("the moon is beautiful tonight," touching just the edge of Fay's sleeve, etc) - filled by zelinxia
Post-series, Fai needs to hear Kurogane's heartbeat to reassure himself his happiness isn't a dream - filled by uakari
Fai - real Fai, the one that died - was the older twin - filled by anon
Fai - real Fai, the one that died - was the older twin - filled by farenmaddox
Fai feels guilt over Kurogane's scars, and Kurogane thinks he needs to keep them hidden from Fai - filled by ereshkigali
Kurogane and Fai get married/bonded before the xxxHolic epilogue - filled by caffeine_buzz
Fai starred in a porn film during the group's travels & had fun - filled by misskirichan
Kuro-papa survived minus an arm and has been roaming dimensions looking for his son - filled by anon
Holitsuba - Yuuko & Fay have had sex before - filled by misskirichan
Holitsuba!Kurogane, Fai, and Yuui are all in a mutually satisfying relationship - filled by misskirichan
Holitsuba!Kurogane is the first person who hasn't been jealous of Fai and Yuui's closeness - filled by kittenkin
Kurogane prefers it when Fai tops - filled by xwittychickx
Fai feels guilt over Kurogane's scars, and Kurogane thinks he needs to keep them hidden from Fai - filled by sotongsotong
Kurogane is an absolute SAP - filled by anon
BB!Fai remained friends with the little freckled girl from Ceres - filled by anon
Kurogane forced Fai to feed the first time in Infinity - filled by sotongsotong

Unfilled Headcanons
Kurogane's father trained him the way Kurogane trained Syaoran.
Kurogane had a case of performance anxiety before he and Fai had sex the first time.
Kurogane is a virgin. Fay is not.
Kurogane takes particular notice of how Fai smells. Fai changes soap and Kurogane has to work up the courage to ask him to change it back.
Fai starts to experience some of Sakura's memories after C!Syaoran stores her feathers in his eye.
Fai and Yuui were born on a national holiday; this is considered an ill omen for Valeria
Kurogane accidentally kills his father during the fall of Suwa
Kurogane & Fai resettle Suwa post-series, and Kurogane grows his hair out like his father
Kurogane has a well-worn notebook filled with terrible poetry. Fai enjoys flipping through the pages and trying to guess which world each was written in.
Holitsuba - Kurogane and Fai keep tracking of whose on top with different coloured condoms. Fai steals Kurogane's in order to top more.
Fai slept around in Ceres (with men and women), but Kurogane is his first steady significant other.
Holitsuba!Kurogane hums to himself when he's in a good mood.
Fai is a creature composed out of magic, rather than human.
Kurogane's conscience sounds A LOT like Tomoyo.
Kurogane was devastated by Fai's 'good morning, Kurogane'.
Post-Clow arc: When Sakura and Syaoran went into the tube o'doom, they left their bodies as empty shells on the floor. Touya found them, and moved them into a long-term care wing at a hospital; waiting for their souls to come home again.
Fai is musically gifted, and every song he plays represents a specific memory/event from his life. Kurogane comes to realize this without Fai knowing it.
Kurogane is the worst boyfriend ever.
The other dimensional versions of Chi, Hideki and the twins live happily.
Fai was a virgin until he met Kurogane because Ashura-ou had some non-fatherly feelings towards him and though he couldn't openly have Fai he could stop others from even thinking of approaching Fai, and none dared to oppose the king.
Fai is uncomfortable with the Japanese way of bathing where everyone just strips naked and soak together.
Fai knew that he would live much longer than Kurogane and while traveling with Tsubasa!Shaoran has been trying to find a way for Kurogane and him to share the same lifespan.
Kurogane is loud in bed.
Kurogane and Fai shared a tent in Yama; Fai felt dirty after being assaulted by soldiers and begged Kurogane to clean him. They had sex regularly after that.

Comments

[reikah]

first comment YES! HEADCANON: The first time Kurogane and Fai have sex, Kurogane is dreadful in bed.

quick fill

[tsubasafan]

Fai had been waiting for this for months, longer if he really thought about it. Laying on his back, having the breath nearly kissed out of him by Kurogane, who had seen him walking by in the hallway and who had grabbed him by the arm, turned him and gave him a look that sent a shiver down his spine.

Clothes hadn't stayed on for long, Fai remembered hearing a button clattering to the floor as Kurogane tried to get them across the house and to their bedroom. He was just glad Syaoron had taken Mokona out to buy some groceries for dinner tonight. He didn't want to traumatize the poor boy with just how /mind-blowing/ this was going to be.

He had all but flung his underwear off, letting the land over across the dresser in their room. Kurogane was growling before he had shoved the blonde onto the mattress.

Fai looked up, naked as the day he'd been born, Kurogane equally unclothed and staring at him. "Like what you see?"

Kurogane at least did glare, just rolled his eyes before his large hands grabbed Fai's thighs and spread his legs. Fai settled in and relaxed as Kurogane kissed down his stomach, though when he felt Kurogane taking his cock into his mouth Fai gasped and reached down to thread his fingers into dark hair.

If nothing else Kurogane was enthusiastic, but as a good two minutes passed Fai wasn't really feeling anything ecstatic. It was a little underwhelming even, not like his daydreams at all. Fai traced his fingers along the man's jaw. "Ah...Kuro-sama, you don't have to do that anymore." He looked down smiling as red eyes glanced up. Kurogane pulled away, sitting up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

He could see the man's jaw tensing. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, just not used to that." he shrugged before moving back over Fai. Well he could buy that, Kurogane didn't seem the type to have a lot of partners.

Leaning up they shared another kiss, while it hadn't been the greatest blow job of his life, it wasn't a mood killer by any means. Though when Kurogane had tried just putting it in, Fai had yelped and smacked his arm.

"What?!" Kurogane snapped as Fai frowned.

"You don't just stick it in."

"...You don't?" Kurogane looked utterly confused and Fai thought about rethinking his life choices.

"No!"

"So...?" Fai rolled his eyes and reached over to the nightstand, grabbing a small bottle of lubricant from his nightstand. "How do you not know that?"
"Women don't need-" Fai pushed the bottle into the man's chest.

"Yes they do. Put this on your fingers and prepare me." he sighed and settled back onto the bedding. Fai listened as Kurogane struggled to even open the cap on the bottle and goose bumps rose on his skin when a large dollop of lube hit him.

"Fuck." Kurogane swore, making a mess, but eventually managed to get some on his fingers and Fai nearly kicked him when he tried pushing two fingers into his ass. "What now?!"

"One at a time." He sighed. Eventually Kurogane got it together and Fai was moaning, getting into it again. Kurogane was working him open and not doing a terrible job of it. "Come here." He purred offering a smile to Kurogane who removed his fingers and kissed Fai.

Slipping a hand between them Fai grabbed Kurogane's cock, stroking him, the man's dick heavy and hot in his hand. "Like that?" He listened to Kurogane moaning, jerking his hips as he thrust into Fai's hand. "Kuro-sama's so good." He cooed coaxing the man on, who gritted his teeth. What Fai hadn't expected was Kurogane cumming like a teenager on his stomach.

Kurogane whimpered against his neck and Fai sighed. Better luck next time he supposed.

[(Anonymous)]

Another one! Years after Fai escaped from the tower, his hands still ache from all that climbing in those icy conditions.

(testing anonymous commenting works as it should, coughcough)

[cloverfield]

Even in hot water, your fingers are numb. Steam and soap and bubbles aside, you feel nothing as you scrub at plate after plate (claw at brick after brick) with reddened fingers-

"Fai-san! That's, that's boiling water- you can't just put your hands in there!"

"Ahaha, don't you worry about me, Sakura-chan! My hands are just fine, see?"

-and each sound your fingernails make when they scrape over (frozen stone) wet glass makes you sick to the core.

You can't quite smile as Sakura dashes back and forth from the cafe proper, tottering under loads of cups and saucers, cutlery and crockery, Mokona hopping after her and spitting up loads of soiled napkins and tablecloths to bloom across the kitchen benches and spill over onto the floor- but you keep your hands from shaking, even as the ache reaches your wrists, and that's the important thing.

Afterwards, he watches when you polish the glasses; broods at you over the lip of his sake bottle as you buff and wipe and make use of three different cleaning cloths, and you pretend red eyes on your back don't mean a thing. It hurts all the way to your elbows now (stone, dirty, frozen stone, scrapes your fingers bloody and raw and your arms burn as you slip down once more), but your grip is steady and your fingers barely tremble against the thin and fragile glass.

It's only when he leaves the room (leaves you unwatched) that you let yourself shake, press your palms flat on the polished bar and let the ache burn up your veins like ice. You can't even stand to clasp your hands together to warm them up again- even your own touch (cold, cold, cold) is all but unbearable.

[eijentu]

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IDEA! :333

Headcanon: Holitsuba!Fai-sensei advocates the use of finger puppets for Kuro-uptight-sensei teaching his Sex Ed class.

[(Anonymous)]

"Do you like them?"

"..."

"I thought your students might find it better if they had more approachable and friendly figures for their introduction to the mechanics of sex. Kuro-tan-sensei is very good at what he does -"

"I - what - idiot, this isn't about the, the, the mechanics! This is just - explaining what goes where!"

A pat on the shoulder. "And big gruff teacher is very good at putting things where. But if he can't say the word 'penis' without blushing, what hope is there for his students?"

"I - I can say it, it's just, I thought - I thought this was the biology department's business, or the nurse, or - whatever! Tch! I can do it!"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"So when little Sakura-chan looks at you with her huge eyes misty with curiosity and says - and says 'is it true you can get pregnant from sitting on a toilet seat a boy has peed on -' Hah! You've gone bright red~!"

"Shut up!"

"Uwaaah~ Yuui, Kuro-blush-sensei is burning up!"

"... Do you really need to discuss this in the staff room, Fai?"

"Idiot! I have a lesson plan. Stop waving that... thing around!"

"Kuro-mean! This is Mr Bigglesworth, he's here to help you educate your class. Here, you can pull this felt aside, and voila, it's a penis!"

"Why would you make that."

"To help you, Kuro-ungrateful! Look, here's Mrs Bigglesworth, with her breasts all bouncing. I thought you might need her too because, well, I don't think poor Kuro-naive has ever handled breasts -"

"STOP saying that word, you moron!"

"Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreassssssts! And here's David, he's the Bigglesworth family chauffeur and he's having a torrid affair with Mr Bigglesworth. I decided to give him syphilis because obviously one must educate in all areas of sexual health -"

"How do you even know that that looks like?"

"Hmmm~"

"For fuck's sake."

"Hmm~!"

"Is that - is that a bag? How many of these did you make?"

"Thirty six. There's a cast. Now, I'll run you through them - aside from the Bigglesworths and their chauffeur, there's also Dr H, name blurred to protect identity, who treats the entire cast for their various STIs and who is engaged in a soda-masochistic relationship with both Rosalie and Matsumoto here -"

"... When did you even find the time to make this stupid shit, you idiot?"

"I make them in class!"

"... Help."

[cloverfield]

Kyra, bb, you have all the best ideas, seriously ♥

Super angsty headcanon go go go!

The first time Fai drank Kurogane's blood in Infinity, it was because Kurogane forced him. He wouldn't have touched Kurogane otherwise.

[farenmaddox]

OH MY GOD BABY I AM SO SORRY BUT IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR THE PROMPT OKAY

He woke up so terribly, utterly hungry. He thought he knew hunger, knew it inside and out, knew it almost better than anything. He’d been forced into starvation, although in his case deprivation did not equal death. A tight belly and trembling limbs and brittle hair and incessant chill . . . That was hunger.

This was nothing like that.

This was hot and hard and inescapable. This was fire racing just underneath his skin. This was his throat feeling so raw and scraped that it hurt to draw breath. Hunger or thirst or lust, he could barely tell which it was. His whole face was missing his eye, it seemed, still trying to draw itself into a new shape around the eye patch, and that just made the pulsing, pounding, ugly hunger even worse. The wound had healed itself up cleanly, and he’d shuddered his way through cleaning the crusted blood away, his hands shaking as he touched the strange contours that he must learn.

Every time he was in a room with Kurogane, he felt it. So he tried very, very hard to not be. He couldn’t look at the man or speak to him, so what would be the point of being in the room with him anyway?

Fai had never been so angry and hurt. Never before, not even all that time ago. This was too different, too personal. He’d finally kissed Kurogane, sitting in the dark by the coffee things in the restaurant in Outo that he’d known he couldn’t keep but was still so proud of. They’d been sitting there with their tea getting cold, talking quietly while Fai iced his injured ankle, and after a beat of silence, he’d finally given in and kissed him. Despite the surprise they shared, they’d turned it into a quiet, lingering thing. Soft and careful. There was a promise hidden in the curve of Kurogane’s lips, and a wish hidden under Fai’s tongue. They’d left it at that and gone to bed.

And Fai had thought that if anyone could understand him, it would be Kurogane. If anyone could respect him, it would be Kurogane. If anyone could love him enough to not want him to suffer, it would be the man who’d kissed him so gently and thoroughly in a room lit by a single lamp and smelling just faintly of warm chocolate.

Instead, there was this. This terrible, hollow hunger.

He’d never had any choice. His life had been charted by another’s hand since he was a small boy, and by now he simply had learned the way to set his shoulders to carry the choices that had been made for him. Even if he’d lost his head a bit in these past few months— he hadn’t expected to have fun, after all— he’d never forgotten that the friends he’d made were not people he’d chosen. They’d been chosen for him, and he’d betray them later.

Wounded and bleeding, the option of death had been his one chance to escape that fate. He’d had the choice. It was the first choice that was solely his, and he’d chosen to die for the sake of his friends.

It hurt a thousand times more when it was Kurogane taking away his choices away than when it was anyone else.

Yes, he answered that unspoken question in his own mind. Yes, Fai hated him.

Their first tournament was tomorrow, the first chess match. Sakura, precious and brittle and beautiful, had already taken herself to bed. Fai was trying to hide the weakness that he felt in his bones. He was sick and starving, and he wasn’t going to fight well tomorrow. He knew what would fix that. He knew that one taste of blood, sweet and hot and bursting coppery on his tongue, would be all it would take—

No. Never. Not ever.

The way Kurogane walked into the room, it was like he’d been sent there on a mission from his princess. Back straight, eyes careful, hands itching to draw a sword. He’d homed in on Fai and come straight for him, and just the thought of talking to Fai apparently made him forget all that softness he’d started to show, forget a kiss, forget six months of learning to work around words, forget the taste of lukewarm tea on Fai’s lips. He looked like a soldier now.

“You need to drink from me before tomorrow,” he said immediately.

Fai laughed bitterly. “If you think I’m ever touching you again, you’re crazier than I’d suspected.”

Soldier’s eyes. Nothing to see in them. Just determination, not even battle lust. Just nothing at all.

Kurogane’s eyes had always said so much, so damn much. This was like watching him die. It made Fai hate all of this even more.

“This isn’t about me or you. This is about the princess. We have a job to do, and she’s gonna be giving it everything she’s got so she deserves the same from us. You’re not gonna be able to do anything if you don’t drink from me. It’s not me you’re letting down, it’s her.”

Fai felt each word like a lash on the back. Kurogane’s voice was a cat o’nine tails when he wanted it to be, it seemed. Fai honestly hadn’t guessed that. He’d thought that was more his own area of expertise.

“Who’s to say I won’t be able to compete?” was his response. Him, obviously. He knew better. But Kurogane might not.

“Don’t play stupid with me. I’m not the one who lost an eye, I can see plenty. I know how weak your body is right now. I could kick your ass right now and you couldn’t stop me.”

Fai’s chest squeezed tight with real fear, because Kurogane was right. That had never been something he had to contemplate before, because even if Kurogane could best him, which was unlikely, he never would. But now? Now he wasn’t sure. And not knowing if Kurogane planned to hurt him . . . No, no. Kurogane wouldn’t. He wouldn’t because it was not in him to do that. Fai would believe that no matter what.

“I don’t even need to, though,” Kurogane said, and drew out a small knife. It wasn’t his sword, but it still made Fai jump up and skitter backward a few paces, eyes caught with shock on the flash of silver. Why?

Then he made the cut into his own arm, and Fai clenched his teeth together. The smell hit him. Hot and red and perfect and he was so hungry—

He fell to his knees as he drew Kurogane’s wrist to his mouth, unable to even stand as the wave of his craving crested over him. It burst on him, the flavour and the warmth and the rightness of it, nobody else’s blood would do, it was only Kurogane, now and forever this was the only thing that could satisfy him, delicious, so good, so right, Kurogane who kissed him and looked out for him, even now, even now,— with Fai spitting hate at him, he still tried, still braved it—

He drank his fill. He stood up. He licked his lips. He glanced down at the red smears on Kurogane’s skin, the slow dribble of blood down his fingers toward the floor.

“Itadakimasu is before the meal, and gochiso sama desita is after,” he explained patiently, for the third time. Fai was still trying to figure out how to get a slippery noodle to stay between his chopsticks even while Kurogane was moving past utensils to explain more about basic table etiquette. They were both laughing as Fai repeatedly dropped his noodles and butchered the words. He wanted to kiss Kurogane, but he couldn’t.

The kiss had come later. And then other things had come. And now there was just this. This ringing silence and the ugly gaping holes where eyes and feelings and skin had used to be.

“Gochiso sama desita,” Fai said.

He left while Kurogane was still trying to gather his hurt into a box and put it away. Kurogane wasn’t as good at that as Fai was. Yet.

[(Anonymous)]

ANONYMOUS COS WHY NOT?

Headcanon: Tomoyo handstitched Fai's furisode herself

[ereshkigali]

working on something for this!

[(Anonymous)]

Fai starred in a porn film during their travels to raise money for the group/feather related purposes and had the time of his life doing so.

Little Puppy in Paradise - Part 1

[misskirichan]

So… I went a little angsty on this at the end. And it's kind of long… I hope that's okay?

*hides*

---------------------------------------------------

The screen flickered from one scene to the next, accompanied by the sound of a woman who seemed to be in half thrall, half agony. The only moment she was quiet was when her mouth was otherwise occupied.

It went on like that for a full 20 minutes, and even Fai had to admit that some of it was quite creative. He had no idea that a carrot could be used in such interesting ways.

The movie finished with a flourish, a list of names floating down the screen as an upbeat tune blared from the tiny speakers.

The man shuffled papers on his desk, not bothering to look up. "See? Pretty straight-forward stuff. Are you interested?"

"Hmmm… I wonder?" He gave what he knew was his best come-hither look, genuinely considering the proposal.

"I guess," he said, hand running lightly across the desk, "the real question is, how much does it pay?"

The man nodded his head, and pulled out a cigar from his drawer. "Business. Good - I like that." He sat down in the oversized chair behind his desk, popping the cigar in his mouth.

"In this business, people are a dime-a-dozen. So it's best to capitalize while you're still new to the industry. You can do that one of two ways." He paused to light the cigar, blowing a fine cloud of smoke over Fai's shoulder. "You can ease your self in little by little--pun intended--by starting out with less, shall we say, invasive acts. You then work your way up to more extreme forms of participation. Audiences love to see innocence decay little by little."

"And the second?" Fai wasn't about to let his cards show, but he didn't have time to 'work his way up' in this industry. He--they--needed money, and fast.

"The second would be to do something so extreme, so over-the-top, that you roll in the dough immediately. It's not good for longevity, but it is good for a quick buck."

Perfect.

He was careful to keep his tone even when answering, determined to milk this opportunity for all it was worth. "Well, considering that I'm sort-of between careers at the moment, why don't we go for the second option?"

He leaned in closer, adding in what could have passed for a conspiratorial whisper. "That, and I've been known to be a bit over-the-top anyways." His powers of persuasion seemed lost on the man, as he responded with nothing more than a slight bobbing of his head.

He crushed the cigar into the ornate ashtray in front of him and extended a pudgy hand toward Fai, a fine dusting of ash covering his fingernails. "We have a deal then. I'll have my secretary start drawing up the contract."

"Fantastic."

"Just one thing… what do you want your stage name to be?"

It didn't even take a moment before he knew.

"Little Puppy Kurogane."

Kurogane was going to kill him anyways, so he might as well have as much fun as possible.

The man looked at him with a confused stare.

"Childhood nickname…"

"I see."

"Well then, 'Little Puppy Kurogane', we'll start shooting tomorrow. You're welcome to bring friends, so long as they don't get in the way."

"Oh, don't worry. My friends would never get in the way."

He left the office feeling deliciously wicked.

-------------

"What!?"

Kurogane's reaction had been even more extreme than Fai had expected.

"No need to get so angry Kuro-puff… it's just a little movie. It's not like we'll ever be coming back to this world anyways. And plus," he gave Kurogane an unblinking stare, "we need the money. You know that. And if you don't want the kids to know how badly we need money, you won't make a big deal of this. Okay?"

Kurogane's face clearly showed that it was very much not okay.

"There are other ways to make money. Things that don't require… " Kurogane made a series of nonsensical hand gestures.

"Require what, Kuro-pooch? Men and women lovingly draping themselves across my naked body? Me, lost in the throes of ecstasy, unable to control my animal passions?"

There was a furious blush creeping over the younger man's cheeks, and he was twitching. "Stop! Just. Stop."

"Who knew that Kuro was such a prude? What's the matter Kuro-Daddy… are you, perhaps, jealous?"

It took longer than it should have for him to respond.

"Of, of course not! Who would want a twig like you, anyways? It's just…" his eyes darted around the room, as if the walls held some kind of answer. "What will the kids think?"

Fai couldn't help but laugh. "That's your reasoning? 'Think of the children?' Come now, Kuro-poo, surely you have more faith in me than that. I've already taken care of 'the children' and found something for them to do tomorrow. They'll never know."

"But. But…"

Fai walked past him, sure to wiggle his hips just a little bit. "Might want to close your mouth Kuro-puppy; it's not very ninja-like."

--------------

He and Kurogane set out the next day shortly after the kids and Mokona had embarked on the 'quest' Fai had set forth for them. If it wasn't for their utter eagerness and sincerity, it would have been almost comical.

"It's your fault, you know." He gave a sideways glare at Kurogane. "A father should show his children how to have fun every once and a while. You," he waved his finger, "have been rather negligent in your duties."

"What the hell are you on about mage?"

"Oh, nothing Kuro-pooch. Just glad for your company."

"Hmph."

Kurogane had chosen to come with him. No matter how much he seemed opposed to the idea, he had muttered, "it's for your own protection, you idiot," before he slid out the door, back straight as iron. He couldn't help but wonder if Kurogane was already regretting the decision.

They arrived at the studio ten minutes early. A bouncy girl with long brown hair ran to greet them before falling flat of her face.

He and Kurogane both ran for her, surprised when she stood up with nothing more than a small trickle of blood coming from her nose.

"Hello. I'm Kobato! And you must be Little Puppy Kurogane."

Kurogane's eyebrows shot up in alarm.

"That I am," said Fai, feeling a small moment of triumph as Kurogane stood there speechless.

"Well, if you just want to follow me then…" the girl led them into the studio, tripping no less than three more times before they eventually reached the dressing rooms.

"Well then, this is where I leave you for now. I'll see you later though, on set." She gave Fai a thumbs up. "You'll do great Little Puppy - I just know it!"

She shut the door softly behind her, only to be followed by a loud crashing and a squeaky 'sorry' less than a minute later.

"She seemed… nice." Fai ventured. In truth, she really had been adorable.

"Kinda reminds me of the princess." Kurogane's mouth bore the ghost of a smile before quickly turning into a grimace. He glared at Fai, eyes flashing.

"Now what the hell is with this 'Little Puppy Kurogane' crap? You tell them to change it. Now."

Fai leaned back, enjoying every minute of Kurogane's discomfort. "Can't. Signed a contract. You wouldn't want me to go back on my word, now would you?"

Kurogane looked furious, but didn't answer.

"Plus, when I thought of a sexy, virile man who could drive both the ladies and gentlemen wild, I could think of no better name than Kurogane." He gave an exaggerated wink while the ninja shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"So, when does this thing get started? The sooner it's over, the better."

"Really? I have a feeling that I won't want it to end…"

[reikah]

Kurogane's dad trained Kurogane the exact way Kurogane trained Syaoran - blindfolded him, threw rocks at him, and left him alone in the forest.

[eijentu]

Kurogane had a case of performance anxiety before he and Fai had sex the first time.

[(Anonymous)]

Fai always could use chopsticks - he just pretended not to as part of his harmless idiot act.

[eijentu]

It took about five seconds to decide what his answer ought to be - slightly longer than it should have taken, perhaps, but the bustle of the diner covered that well enough. Their tall, brusque waiter held two sets of implements in his hands, and he was just about to repeat his question, maybe, when Fai pointed at the fork.

'You don't use chopsticks in your country, Fai-san?' said Syaoran, when the waiter had gone. And there was nothing more than interest in him, but Fai knew better than that.

Fai beamed. 'Nope! I've never seen anything like it before. They look interesting, though.' But there he switched his attention to Kurogane. He let the smile settle into a smirk. 'I bet Mr Black could give me a private lesson in our room later if I asked~!'

'I told you, it's Kurogane, and don't... I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE THAT ALONE, PORK BUN!

Syaoran ducked his head at the crash that followed. The boy was apologising even before their surly waiter returned, and Fai wondered, then, if the innuendo had gone over his head. He hoped so. He hadn't meant to say that, not quite. He'd said it without thinking - said it for the look on Kurogane's face. He wouldn't do it again, he decided firmly. And so instead he watched their waiter flip the pancake-things on the grill (well, Fai had truly never seen anything like that) and swat Kurogane's hand away from the dials.

'Can't you read the sign?' he said tersely, and Kurogane scowled at that.

'Tche. Staff only.'

The waiter scowled back. 'Staff only. That's right.'

If he'd asked Fai, Fai could've answered truthfully to that . The sign and the pancake-things and the boy with the shy smile standing at the counter: all those things were a mystery to him. But not the chopsticks. A small thing, really, but it painted a bigger picture, and that... No. Because he'd already figured out that chopsticks and this intricate scripted language belonged to the same worlds, and if Fai didn't know about one thing, why did he know the other? Tell us more about your home, Fai-san. Well, he could hear the enthusiasm in Syaoran's voice now.

Fai didn't want to tell them more about his home. The one he could never return to. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to remember... he didn't want to remember his 14th birthday, when an ambassador sent a gift for the king's son from his new post. It was a box, inlaid with ivory and a brilliant green stone. Inside, two long tapered sticks carved from fruit wood, and Ashura-ou had gently laughed at his confusion, had guided his hands through the correct motions until Fai...

Fai closed his eyes.

(Fai didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to remember.)

When he opened them again, Kurogane had abandoned guard of the grill. He was watching Fai with cool, distrustful red eyes.

Fai smiled and reached to hook a pancake with his fork, and he wasn't doing it for the scowl that darkened Kurogane's face. Because after all, he'd already decided he wasn't doing that again.

[perfectworry]

Fay doesn't like to sleep alone.

[(Anonymous)]

Fai doesn't like sleeping alone. It doesn't matter if it's dark or light; if the person lies next to him or stands or watches him - he just does not like being alone in the night.

He knows exactly how it started - with a court that hated him, and two little boys, left to their own devices most of the time. They shared the same cradle and then the same bed, and slept always, as in most things, as mirror images of each other; facing each other, hands clasped, foreheads touching and noses aligned. Breathing in each other's air, as close to each other as they could get. This was the only kindness they knew. When they cried, nobody came, nobody ever came, and so they lay as two dogs in a den, pressed tight together and holding on as if to a lifeline; this was their love.

It was harder in Ceres; not because of the lack of care - when he awoke screaming in the night, hands bunched up and clawing desperately at walls that were no longer there, face tipped to the ceiling and searching, searching for that falling child... people came, in Ceres. That was not what made it harder. What made it harder was sending them away, after-images of Fai's fear burned onto his retinas; he was Fai and he was not-Fai and he had slain his brother, and he did not deserve light and reassurance, he knew that.

(Ashura once sat with him the night regardless, reading a tedious tome concerning grain accountancy in the lower reaches; Fai's last waking thought that evening was this: this is a different kind of love, and it is almost more than I can bear.)

When he was thirteen years old (an unlucky age, an unlucky number - an unlucky child) he created Chi out of a magical feather. She was for his brother, this sparkling creation with their ash-blond hair and pale skin, their sharp chin and cheekbones; she was to watch over him, to love him better than Fai (not!Fai) had loved him himself, and yet.

And yet there were multiple nights - he would not say how many (he does not like to dwell, but he does) where this magical construct stayed not in the cold room with its swirling pool, bringing comfort to a boy who had died in fear and because of another's selfishness, but in a chair by his fireplace. She sang, like a songbird. He hadn't meant to bestow that attribute upon her.

(She was in the shape of his mother, and she sang and she stroked his hair, and Fai would not let himself love her, because he had sewn her shape out of magic and a foreign gift. He would be no Pygmalion, she would not be his statue; he knew better than to let himself be loved.)

He learned to sleep on his stomach, so as not to wake the palace: to hide his face and his fears and his nightmares into his pillow, and he kept himself to himself until (inevitably) the next act of the play rolled around: blood on Ruval's floors and worse than madness in his King's eyes, a kind of staid sanity that was a thousand times worse. And then...

And then.

(And then!)

Syaoran snored. Sakura talked sometimes in her sleep; she would roll around on the floor like an acrobat, roly-poly, roly-poly, and sometimes she would come to rest against his leg and he would wake up, suddenly, tugged from a (nightmare) nightly memory of falling and ice and blood, his heart pounding in his chest, sure - somehow - in those sluggish moments between sleep and wakefulness that he had somehow projected his dreams to them, that they had seen inside his head, that they would know what he wanted, what he was.

(Mokona would sleep on the pillow next to him, her little breaths puffs of cool air against his ear; she was the hardest of them all except -)

Kurogane didn't move an inch, and he was the one Fai feared the most; such a big man, so solid, so broad, even motionless in sleep he filled his space, and he radiated calm (and that was odd in and of itself, wasn't it? That such a violently tempermental man should be so still?) and he was...

There.

Just... there.

(And Fai wondered somewhere in the very back of his mind just what it would feel like to share his pillow, like two dogs in a den; tussled all close, breathing each other's air.)

Because the worst part was all of it - Mokona in his ear, Syaoran's rhythmic rising snore, Sakura tumbling over the sleeping mats, even Kurogane, stock-still and silent - the worst part of it was that he so desperately wanted it to go on, night after night; living, breathing people, chasing away the ghosts (the falling boy), keeping him... company.

(Betrayal is his middle-name.)

He keeps sleeping face-down. It's easier to disguise that sometimes, sometimes, his nightly visitors aren't nightmares any more, but dreams -

(wishes)

- of what could be.

(Wishes come with a price.)

Fai doesn't like sleeping alone. But sometimes, it's easier than sleeping with company.

[perfectworry]

Kurogane is a virgin. Fay is not.

[(Anonymous)]

[bottan]

BB!Fai returned on a regular basis to the village of the little freckled girl - and she was the first child his age he got close to after losing his brother. :3

[farenmaddox]

So I have an entire long story I want to write for this very idea someday. I'm working on a smaller one to fill this for you~ :*

[farenmaddox]

ahahahah ALL ABOARD THE ANGST TRAIN

(note: I used the word "Gehenna" because it was the word child!Fai used in the translation of TRC I read)

----------------------------

Gehenna probably isn’t full of plastic.

He’s learned the way plastic feels from some of the worlds they’ve been in, and what’s under his hands is very definitely a hard, smooth, artificial curve with a strange hint of warmth. Plastic.

So not Gehenna.

And that quite definitely means he is not dead. Because when he dies, there is only one destination for him and he knows that. Although he rather feels Paradise would not have plastic either.

He opens his eyes and sees himself sitting in front of a bank of controls in a capsule, and he blows out his breath. His real breath. He’d had his suspicions that something was wrong with Outo all along— his magical sensitivity was screaming at him from the moment they’d arrived, those girls with the soulless eyes that welcomed them to the city doing nothing to help. But because he couldn’t pinpoint the problem, he’d assumed it was the demons. He’d never encountered their like before, and he’d chalked up the intense alarm his magic had raised to the constancy of the threat the demons posed.

He’d never dreamed it would be something like this.

He lifts his eyes away from the controls, still trying to make sense of this. He’s alive. There is someone coming toward him, dressed in an outfit that just says “uniform” all over it. This person is an employee of the facility that Fai is clearly being held in.

“You lost your life, huh?” he says sympathetically. “Well, you can always start a new game.”

Game? This was . . . A game?

(Hasn’t every moment of this journey been nothing but?)

Fai leans back in his seat, smiling cheerfully at the employee of this game room or whatever it is. “Now where would be the fun in that? A game like this isn’t fun if you can come back to it as many times as you want, after all.”

It’s his usual sing-song. The employee looks at him doubtfully. Most people would probably like to jump straight back into the game, wouldn’t they? Fai himself would love to, he supposed, if he’d known it was a game to begin with. You could pick a different job or location each time. That had some appeal.

He hadn’t known. He’d thrown himself at an enemy thinking he was protecting someone. Thinking he was dying for a reason.

Thinking he was dying. Thinking it was over. No more of this endless game he was always playing, in Outo or out of it. No more smiling until his face felt cracked in half, surreptitiously touching his fingertip to the corner of his lips to see if he was bleeding. No more laughing as the ninja chased him, a bright spot in his heart that dared too much, and that he always carefully and thoroughly pulled out of his chest and smashed into pieces at the end of each day. (He didn’t apply words to the bright spot. No, defining it was worse thing imaginable.) No more waiting and no more plotting. He’d get the torment that was coming to him after he died, and there would be no more princesses with belief in their eyes.

For that one moment, short but full of strange clarity, he’d been looking forward to Gehenna.

“Your friends are probably wondering why you’re not back already,” the employee says cautiously. It's more than likely his duty to make Fai spend more money here.

His friends.

They must think he's dead.

Something is wrong with their game, and Fai knows it. His senses are still screaming at him about danger, even though he is unmistakably in the real world now and not locked inside a game. Something big is still coming, and his friends are still in danger. They are right here in their little capsules, unmoving in reality but in their heads they are still dreaming and talking and planning— (Are they crying for him? Does he want them to?)

“Is it okay if I stay here while I wait for my friends to finish their game?” he asks with a smile, stretching his arms above his head. It feels wonderful. For all that he thought he’d been leaping around, cooking meals, fighting demons, getting injured (pause for a strange jolt in his chest when thinking about that night) he hasn’t actually moved in probably hours.

Something is definitely wrong, and he’d better try to fix it. They still have work to do, and since he is alive, he has no excuse for not doing it.

[ereshkigali]

Because fluff is good for the soul - Kurogane is secretly an absolute SAP. He never so much as tries to express it openly because he a) knows that he'd be terrible at it and b) is easily embarrassed by his own feelings, but internally he is schmoopily, dreamily, outright disgustingly in love with Fai.

[reikah]

I AM ON THIS LIKE YUUKO ON SAKE

[(Anonymous)]

My headcannon is that Kurogane takes particular notice of how Fai smells – even before they actually start dating. For my headcannon Fai smells like different things depending on where he’s been and what he’s been doing but that his general characteristic is that he smells like Rosemarry (because it’s a clean but not overly flowery smell that reminds one of cooking, but is also not that strange an ingredient for soap). For instance, I like to think that in Outo (and other places he has the opportunity to cook) that he smells like baking - flour or vanilla or chocolate or peppermint. Then, in Piffle I’d like to think he gets his hands on suuuuper fancy perfumed shampoo. Through it all though, Fai still smells like rosemary-heavy soap underneath it all. My headcannon is that after they get together Fai changes his soap from rosemary to something else and Kurogane has to work up the nerve to ask that he change it back. I’m sure Fai wouldn’t make it easy on him either.

[mikkeneko]

When Syaoran was traveling around the worlds collecting feathers solo, he stored them/melded them into Fai's eye. After Fai gets his eye back, he starts seeing/experiencing some of Sakura's memories.

[animangod]

TRC~Fai and Yuui were born on a national holiday. (Such as Fourth of July for America-type of holiday.) Not only was their birth to be celebrated as the birth of the prince's child, but it was to coincide with a holiday celebrating the Birth of the Country of Valeria. However due to their superstition of twins, instead of being great, they treated the twins as a sign of the Death of Valeria.

Footnote

[misskirichan]

Love this headcanon. Couldn't resist. :3

--------------------------------------------------

There was nothing she could do, now. Too many people had borne witness to the the wailing of two children instead of the single piercing cry that had been expected.

She handed the still squirming children to the lady-in-waiting. The woman wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"Can't you…" she whispered making a snapping motion with her neck.

"No, my lady."

Even if they were bad luck, she wouldn't have their blood on her hands. She'd leave that to someone else, if it was to be carried out.

"Perhaps while they were still in womb I could have done something. But my oath…"

"Yes yes." The woman waved her hand dismissively, having already deposited the children into the arms of a waiting servant.

"Well then." She gave a small bow and took her leave. As soon as the door closed behind her, she heard a shrill scream.

Someone must have told the queen.

She walked down the hallways and felt desperation clawing at the corners, its tentacles crawling between the carefully mortered stones of the castle. The news had travelled fast.

It was little wonder, really; every noble must have had a paid spy waiting outside the birthing chamber. Even she, plain as she was, understood that you had to start fast with the monarchy. Deciding who you would betray was an important decision, and one that started the moment a royal child took breath.

But now, the careful dance of betrayal and intrigue had been interrupted, replaced instead by a dangerous foreboding. The birth of two children signified not the rise a noble group, but the fall of a country.

She couldn't help but muse at the will of the gods as she watched the white and gold banners that had been so carefully hung being torn down as she neared the entrance of the castle. They lay in snowy heaps on the floor, the only hint of their intended glory in the small silken fragments that had caught on the rough pieces of stone wall.

For this was intended to be a fortuitous day; one touched by the gods themselves. It was the holy day, the day each year that they celebrated the birth of their country. The idea that a prince was to be born on such a day had been seen as a divine promise for great prosperity throughout the land. But to deliver not one, but two princes, seemed to foretell a different kind of fate. One that would split the country in two and watch the once proud people of Valeria fall through the gaping chasm.

Instead of rising, they would be swallowed up, lost in the fickle hands of time. She, her people, her country, they would all become nothing more than a memory, this single day the cornerstone by which all future peoples would remember them.

There would be no tales of the wars they won, or of the songs they once sang. Instead, they would become nothing more than a footnote, an entire nation neatly summarized by a single date and the words, "Death Day of Valeria."

[animangod]

Youou!Kurogane is actually responsible for killing his father.


After some thought spurred by Kin a while ago, I had this idea pop into my head.
Kuro-papa had managed to come back home with Mr. Retainer, clinging to life, and Mr. Retainer is supporting Kuro-papa because seriously, Kuro-papa sacrificed his arm and sword so they could live, and they ride back to their home; they see it has been attacked by the demons,and Kuro-papa rushes in to see who has survived, and praying his wife is alive and his son is alright, and he sees Kuro with Ginryuu and his wife dead in his arms, and Kuro-papa with Mr. Retainer (Mr. Retainer warning him its dangerous) behind him rushes over where Kuro is, but Kuro in his blinded rage and madness cannot tell friend from foe and … finishes where draconic demon didn’t succeed in killing them? Oh and the reason that demon attacked the house is because it was looking for Kuro-papa and the one that got away and that place smelled like them? But it got there first.

[perfectworry]

Kurogane expresses his love in subtle ways ("the moon is beautiful tonight," touching just the edge of Fay's sleeve, etc).

[reikah]

Seconded! I really like this, I hope it gets filled soon!

[zelinxia]

Long after Tsubasa!Syaoran is able to reunite with his parents and return to Clow, Fai and Kurogane return to Nihon and re-establish Suwa Province. As the Lord of Suwa, Kurogane grows out his hair much like his father as part of the tradition of the noble family.

The part that I'd like to see focused on is his new hair length. Not only does he play with Fai's hair, his gets played with too. All the schmoop encouraged!

[mikkeneko]

When Fai began to suspect what was going on with Ashura, he evacuated the survivors of Ceres to another world, which the travelers then encounter during their journey.

[(Anonymous)]

Blood. Bodies. Ruins. It wasn’t the valley of Valeria or the main chamber of Luval Castle, but it was still your fault.

You didn’t recognize them at first. Their clothing and physique were covered in ashes and blood, skins scraped by debris and bodies too tired from crying and grieving. But when you saw the trace of the familiar embroidery on the dress of the woman weeping over the losses all because of that feather, you realized she’s among the survivors you helped flee the mysterious bloodshed.

Rocks were hurled at ‘Syaoran’, who refused to get out of the way. You did everything you could to shut out the angry cries of the kids who demanded the boy to return the people his image had killed to retrieve one of Sakura’s feathers. All while Sakura put herself in front of ‘Syaoran’ to protect him from sharp projectiles.

“Take us out of here, Moko-chan,” she urged. There was no hesitation, no words exchanged between you and the others as you were all whisked away from this world, too late to do anything, too late to save them from the damages Syaoran enacted.

A part of you were too used to this – a massacre in your own hands. Sure, it was the clone who killed anyone who was in his way to retrieve the feather before moving on to the next undetermined world, but he wouldn’t have been able to destroy lives as easily without your magic he’d stolen back in Tokyo.

If you had died back there, the magic would have faded out. But ‘Kurogane’ had to save you (and there’s still that part of you that wants to cling on to him, to the others, and be taken away with them, but then you’re still a traitor, like how were a traitor to these people you weren’t able to protect.)

Blood. Bodies. Ruins. It wasn’t the valley of Valeria or the main chamber of Luval Castle, but it was still your fault.

[uakari]

Kurogane has a well-worn notebook filled with terrible poetry. Fai enjoys flipping through the pages and trying to guess which world each was written in.

[rinoa11]

TWERKIN AND WERKIN ON DIS!

[farenmaddox]

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

So here's a thing I would love it if someone wrote:

Kurogane is covered in scars, and a lot of them are due to Fai. He's got a million on his wrists from feeding, he's got a bunch on his back from being cut up in Tokyo, he's got that mass of scar tissue where his new arm joins to his shoulder, and a big fat one in his side from his other injury in Celes. MY ACTUAL HEADCANON FOR THESE SCARS: Fai doesn't know how to feel about them, sees them as physical manifestations of the pain he has caused, and accidentally makes Kurogane feel like he needs to keep his own skin hidden from Fai. THE REASON I HAVE NOT PERSONALLY WRITTEN THIS ALREADY: I have no idea how to solve it. *facepalm*

[ereshkigali]

*pokes cautiously at prompt* I may try something for this? I make no promises, though.

[farenmaddox]

ANOTHER HEADCANON OF MINE:

When Kurogane was first training to be a Shirasagi ninja, one of his mentors was an older ninja who has some of the same teasing mannerisms of Fai, and Kurogane had a MASSIVE CRUSH on this man. And then the mentor dies protecting Tomoyo from an assassin! :D

Paint in Black

[zelinxia]

(Long fill ahoy)

Five times young Kurogane was vulnerable and one time he wasn’t.

(Black. Adjective. A hue that’s absent of light. Sometimes seen as an infinite void, like darkness, like something locked away where nobody can touch it)


Kurogane wasn’t always violent and destructive, terrifying the court ladies and receiving scorns from Souma and Princess Tomoyo, and worse Amaterasu. When he was adopted into Shirasagi Castle, he calmed down for a while and turned quiet and reserved. Even when he expressed his desire to join the imperial family’s ninja force, he didn’t acquaint himself with other ninjas outside of training time. He’d either spent free time practicing on his own, ignoring what others were saying about him, or tending to other duties. But never forming close friendships or warming up with one of the mentors, a common custom practiced between an older ninja and his pupil-in-training.

That was, until he was paired with Yukiyo, a senior member who ranked on the second tier just beneath Souma. He was a strict teacher but had a great sense of humor and was easygoing with just about everyone in the troop. It wasn’t any surprise he was tasked to train Kurogane – with his patient attitude, it was hoped he’d be the one to break open Kurogane’s shell in the training field when Princess Tomoyo could not be at his side.

One

“Hey kid,” Yukiyo said when he first addressed Kurogane as his mentor, “you sure you’re a human? Sometimes you seem so stiff beyond a proper ninja. Lighten up now and then.”

“I!” he reacted in anger. His cheeks burned red and he was fuming.

Yukiyo laughed and placed a friendly hand on his shoulder, grin changing into a soft smile, and said, “Being withdrawn might be useful, but sometimes that can go too far. I’ll teach you how to control your emotions so it won’t go extreme one way or another, alright?”

His teasing reminded him of his father. His smile and gentle assurance was very much like his mother. Kurogane was overcome with emotion and grief after Yukiyo managed to calm his anger down, but he put it aside for now, not wanting to become so vulnerable to his new mentor.

Later that night, after much tossing and turning restlessly, tears helped him fall asleep.

Two

At first he didn’t appreciate Yukiyo teasing him. He lashed back when it wasn’t inappropriate, scowled when he needed to maintain respect boundaries between student and teacher. Yukiyo also worked him hard, from the crack of dawn to supper time. It was rigorous than any training he had done in Suwa, but being a ninja for the imperial family had somewhat different expectations and discipline than being the protector and lord of a province.

Yet Yukiyo was still the only senior member who treated Kurogane with kindness, with an open sense of camaraderie, someone who wasn’t afraid to push him, guide him, and also be a friend to him. What Kurogane didn’t know he missed, what he was aching for, was someone he could rely on. Princess Tomoyo was a treasured friend, too, but there were things he couldn’t turn to her for like how he did with his father in his youth. Nobody could ever replace the late Lord of Suwa as his father figure – he was the only one – but Yukiyo was a good mentor, and with his graceful skills and charms, Kurogane felt drawn towards him.

Unlike most relationships, even between married couples who must be discreet with affection in public, the one between warriors, particularly a teacher and his student, was very physical. At first Kurogane would only be in contact with Yukiyo when they sparred, his bokken touching him, and he could indirectly feel his stature. But over time, claps on his shoulder became pats on the head, grabs on his wrist turned to brushes against his arm. And as the teasing continued, Kurogane welcomed them with familiarity. He actually liked them, clung to them as unspoken affection beneath playful words.

When they parted for the day, he felt lonely without his master’s presence. He would lay in bed still unable to sleep. These nights it wasn’t the fear of losing control in his sleep that was keeping up. It was thinking about Yukiyo, the warmth from his laughs, the caring and patient side he never failed to display. Kurogane was consumed by him, infatuated even, feeling so vulnerable to these emotions and Yukiyo that he couldn’t shake them off quite so easily.

He then realized he was in love for the first time.

Three

A year had passed when Kurogane was finally inducted in the ninja force at the age of fifteen. In the important ceremony, he was knighted by Princess Tomoyo and bestowed the copy of Ginryuu (silver scales for Suwa’s prized metal, golden head for good luck in battle, and garnet encrusted eyes for fury and passion). He recited his oath to serve his eternal loyalty to the princess, and only her, until his death, to protect her at all cost. (But a curious, rebellious part of him wondered if a similar type of loyalty could be partitioned to someone else, someone who was also important and increasingly enveloping his mind and heart).

There was a small feast held in his and other sworn in ninjas that night. He still hadn’t gotten acquainted with many of them, and the company wasn’t as pleasant as he would have liked to. Yukiyo and the other senior ninjas sat at a different table, and at times when no one near him was looking, he’d eye in the direction of his master, who was laughing in uproar over tales and jokes. He was drinking heavily, but was still keeping it up. Kurogane had only known one other person who had a famously strong alcohol tolerance: his mother. Sometimes his teacher happened to eye him back, which Kurogane then hurriedly looked away, cheeks flushing and heart pounding heavily. He didn’t mind if the others at his table teased him that he was drinking too much and making him flush deep red – anything was better than admitting what was on his mind. He would have to keep a better check on his emotions.

To his surprise, Yukiyo invited him to his chamber after supper was over, where Kurogane knew they would have more privacy, him having the privilege of having his own room. It was a warm summer evening, cicadas chirping loudly outside of the windows. Yukiyo had already changed into his evening yukata, the drapes of his neck outrageously exposed, and Kurogane couldn’t help but blush furiously. He distracted himself by looking at his own bare feet, wondering if he really had too much to drink, until he felt warm fingers holding his chin.

Sweet, warm brown eyes met his with deep thoughts, and he forced himself to maintain contact.

“Kurogane…”

“Yes, Sensei?”

Yukiyo frowned. “Can you forgive me for being too soft on you?”

“What? I don’t understand…”

“Ordinarily we would have started this complete relationship once I became your mentor,” he said. “But since you were too closed, too reserved a year ago, I couldn’t dare to intrude too soon.”

“Oh.” He realized that Yukiyo was talking about wakashudo, the formal brotherhood contract between an older warrior – the master – and his student. They were already operating on some principles, Kurogane learning from Yukiyo. But what they haven’t done was became lovers, under a strict binding they would not have other male lovers until Kurogane came of age. The loyalty would always remain until their deaths. But now that Yukiyo was bringing this up, and the fact they were alone…

“Oh.”

“But then I’ve seen the way you look at me, how you react differently to my regards for you. And now that you are fully a ninja under the service of the Tsukuyomi, it is time, Kurogane. Please kneel before me.”

Kurogane did as was told, all the while trying to keep his composure as much as he could. He couldn’t believe it. While Yukiyo didn’t outright express any sentiment that he returned pure, romantic love, he was going to be his lover along with his mentor. They recited the oath, and as it went further along, Kurogane felt his breath shaking even more.

He couldn’t believe what was happening, until the oaths were ended and no string of words were exchanged for the rest of the night as soon as Yukiyo initiated the kiss; and he relented into his master and new lover, hungrily, achingly, with want and need and desire and affection for this man he was deeply in love with, who meant everything to him.

Four

“I’ll protect you,” he vowed, breathing in Yukiyo’s neck.

“That’s not how it works. We’re both sworn to protect Tsukuyomi.”

“I don’t care,” Kurogane scowls. He didn’t know why emotions were suddenly roiling up in his stomach, and he knew he ought to keep a better control of it especially now, but he couldn’t. “If I can become stronger I will protect Tomoyo-hime first and foremost and then you, Sensei.”

“You’re too stubborn,” his master said teasingly. He brushed away bits of Kurogane’s hair affectionately, and then said sternly, “I know you’re a good kid, Kurogane, and whoever receives your love will be fortunate. But I won’t always be that someone you can treasure. We are warriors and protectors for the imperial family, and our lives are pledged to die in their place if need be.”

“Don’t say that!”

“Kurogane.”

He knew he crossed the line defying his master. Kurogane bitterly felt the pain of losing his parents, of not being able to protect them. He didn’t want it to happen to Yukiyo either.

“I don’t care. I’ll protect you no matter what.” (Because you’re precious to me) he wanted to say (and I don’t want to lose you), but knew he couldn’t, let alone even dared.

Yukiyo sighed and shook his head, smiling. “Come, it’s been a very late night. Let’s get some sleep.”

Five

Sometimes he still wondered if Yukiyo was secretly a dreamseer too, much like Princess Tomoyo.

A few months after Yukiyo and he first kissed and had sex, assassins raided the castle. The senior ninjas were stationed around the highest threats while Yukiyo was stationed to protect Tomoyo. Kurogane was not stationed near him.

One of the things he learned was to listen to his gut and react to it as fast as he could. When he felt something awful in him, he hurried to where Tomoyo and Yukiyo were hiding, because he promised to protect both of them. He knew the princess would be safe because she was strong and had the best bodyguards, but if Yukiyo guarding was on his own…

(He arrived just as an assassin overwhelmed Yukiyo and stabbed him in his neck opening.)

Tomoyo’s scream was quickly muted in his utter, utter rage and despair, as the old, familiar demons clawed in his head and shut down the urge to fall apart right then and there, and with the hot blade of Ginryuu at his disposal he quickly eliminated Yukiyo’s murderer. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t breathe, and he thought he’d never have to feel that pain again, but he was wrong.

He was able to snap out of it quicker than when he lost his family and homeland, but he still raged, still screamed and had to be held down, begging to be let go, but it was too late he had failed again to protect someone important to him and he was tired of crying but he still cried because that’s what you did when you lose someone you loved.

One

He never wanted to love someone that dangerously close again, and have that unlucky chance of losing them when he should have protected them. Losing his parents was unbearable. Losing Yukiyo was the last straw.

And so, over the years he shut himself off, never letting that emotion betray him and his duty, always remaining closed, away from others.

You couldn’t get stronger if you let yourself be vulnerable.

(Steel. Noun. Any form of iron, having qualities of hardness and strength. Cold, sharp, like the heart of the jaded warrior.)

[zelinxia]

Everyone wonders what happened in those six months the men are left in Yama before the others arrive in that world. Many times there are hook ups involved (emotional and/or to get stuff out of their system) - and yeah I've wrote stuff like that before, but in truth my headcanon is that there wasn't any physical intimacy going on.

The dilemma is that, Kurogane realizes he's fallen for Fai. He's confused and wondering why he feels romantically attracted to this 'idiot', but after picking up on more things from Outo, (doesn't help everyone thought Fai died...), and having to watch out for Fai cause he can't understand the language, he comes to accept his feelings for Fai. Yay for Yama!

[rinoa11]

I'M GONNA WRECK IT (I mean.... Fill it)